Do not falter

"Do not falter, little donkey, there’s a star ahead. It will guide you, little donkey, to a cattle shed."

Little Donkey is absolutely, positively my most favourite childhood carol. It's the ultimate carol of perseverance- surely everyone that hears it can relate to the little donkey's tale and picture him plodding onwards.
We're so close to Christmas now- it's almost here, the excitement and anticipation (and anxiety and stress!) Will soon pass. I'm ever so tired today and just want to enjoy some time with my family, but like that little donkey I'm plodding onwards.

With the poor, and mean, and lowly

" With the poor, and mean, and lowly,Lived on earth our Saviour holy."

I've had a rather productive day- first day in a long time that's solely been dedicated to tidying and cleaning, then this evening we've attended a Christmas gathering that the new Bishop of Manchester hosted for all Manchester ordinands- all of my year (all five of us!) were there and it was lovely to meet other halves.

The bishop said grace before we ate and part of that prayer was for those who are without the good things we have, and like the words from Once in Royal David's city, a timely reminder that Jesus wasn't born to be a remote ruler, locked in his palace. He was born poor and spent his life ministering to those on the margins of society- the poor, mean, lowly- the broken, rejected and abandoned.

I have no gift to bring

"I have no gift to bring...that's fit to give our king"

I think it's maybe about this time in Advent that I can feel at my most inadequate. Friends put photos on Facebook of their lovely clean, tidy and Christmasified houses, wherever you go you're asked if you're "all ready" and lovely cards come through the door each day.
I don't feel that way as much this year, I'm just accepting that there's things I can't achieve. Of course I wish I were able to do certain things, but I would need to be super human!
When I don't achieve the things I feel I should, when I feel let down by my own shortcomings, I do wonder why on earth God wants me, what do I have to offer? Maybe part of it is simply the willingness to do what he asks of me, and that includes sacrificing what some might think of as a "normal" Christmas, although as a nurse that's not new!
This year as well as working on Christmas day I'll be spending more time than ever in church, and my family may feel they're last on the list again. I hope I can find the right balance, and if not I hope I'm forgiven!

Come and worship

"Come and worship, Come and worship,Worship Christ, the newborn King!"

With only a week to go until Christmas day I've decided to reflect a little upon my favourite Christmas carols. Anyone who has worked a shift with me over the past 3 weeks will know how much I love Christmas music!
The lyric at the top of the post is from Angels from the Realms of Glory which I think is beautiful, joyful and calls us all to worship Christ our king. It's really upbeat and just what I needed to cheer me up this afternoon- I felt tired, achey and just a bit broken today, but a few hours at work (I love my job- the patients are just so tremendous) and a few carols helped me to find my mojo again.
I've got 2 days at home now to tidy, clean and Christmasify our home, so hoping my energy levels stay up! A lovely Christmas lunch with my colleagues tomorrow might help!

Get up and do not be afraid

I learned something very interesting from Vicky's sermon last Sunday- in the Bible the words "do not be afraid" appear 365 times, once for every day of the year- how amazing is that?!
There's so many things that we fear it can really get in the way of living the abundant life Jesus wishes us to.
By this stage in Advent I've usually lost the plot completely- overwhelmed by anxiety preparing gifts, shopping, baking, cleaning. Despite fearing that my wobble was coming last week and being busier than ever I feel relatively chilled out. There's a small undercurrent of anxiety- not many cards written, no decorations up and the house is a mess- but it's all manageable. Whatever I can do will be done, and what I can't...well those who love me will understand, and after all I'm trying to emphasise that those superficial things aren't at the heart of Christmas. Maybe that's why I'm so calm- for once I can only focus on Jesus as I've no time for anything else!

But who do you say I am?

We all know the Christmas story, baby Jesus born in a stable, and what a fantastic story it is. To many it remains that- just a story, or Jesus remains that innocent baby- or grows up the be the peaceful "anglo-saxon hippie" as Eddie Izzard called him.
To those, like me, who identify as a Christian, we know that the saviour we are waiting for isn't the innocent baby, or the gentle man, but he's so much more. At times Jesus was far from peaceful- angry, tormented, exasperated. This is the Jesus I want- who challenges me, causes me to examine myself, and leaves me with no choice but to follow wherever he leads me.

10 days to go...

Sundays off blogging, so here's something adorable instead...