Tuesday 31 March 2015

Remember More

OK, bit of a cheat as I haven't actually memorised anything but as today is Trans Day of Visibility I've been reminding myself what a brave thing it is to be Trans, out and visible in many areas including in many Christian communities. Even if I didn't have a trans parent I would be standing in unity with the trans community and the LGBT Christian community.

The figures for crimes commited against trans people are deeply worrying, which is why visibility is needed. Trans people are still very much miss represented and miss understood,  in fact the problem is that I'm having to say "trans people" and not just people, which is what we all are. God's people, all one in the body of Christ.

Monday 30 March 2015

Be More Encouraging

The Monday of Holy Week is usually set aside at St Michael's for a service of wholeness and healing. As we begin to immerse ourselves in the events of Holy Week this encourages us to embrace our brokenness.
Sometimes, for us to be truly whole, and embrace the abundant life and perfect wholeness we can find on Easter Sunday, we must be broken apart.
Encouraging people to embrace their brokenness can be an incredibly painful experience, it's very much part of the discernment process before C of E ministry selection and a thread which runs through the training. Gaining that self awareness helps us to draw closer to God but also helps us to be better servants. Embracing what is broken in us helps us to be more aware of others struggling and hopefully walk alongside them.

Saturday 28 March 2015

Live More Simply

I have a house full of stuff I don't use. Clothes I don't wear, books I won't read again, DVDs I don't watch. We still have boxes in the loft which remained unpacked from moving house nearly 8 years ago. Why?
At the moment, with little to no time for housework, it just feels like "stuff". I often wish I had time to remove everything from my house and only put back the things we really need, but when I do attempt to throw things away a "just in case" mentality creeps in and I worry that as soon as I throw something away I'll need it.
There are probably very few things we're hanging on to that we need and my main goal when my training ends is to declutter the house from top to bottom, inside and out.

Be Aware of Others

Friday was a delightful day. Usually they are notorious for being the busiest day at work but for some reason this week it felt more like a weekend. When we're busy it can feel very solitary, moving from task to task and not being able to chat with colleagues or spend as much time as we'd like with patients.
Yesterday I had time to chat with both and it was a real treat. The team spending time together builds morale and helps people feel valued. Spending more time with patients gives you time to do all the "value added" stuff, or just talk with someone feeling lonely.
I love my job so much, even when it's difficult, and days like this are a reminder of what a tremendous team we have, with the most remarkable group of patients. Part of my routine at night is to pray for the people I've worked with and cared for. Last night my prayers were filled with joy and hope.

Thursday 26 March 2015

Smile More

So I DID forget to blog last night! I'm hoping I gave away lots of smiles, I certainly had reason to. I was on placement today and spent my time in the patient's art group, seeing what they experience and what effect it has on their wellbeing. I was super chilled afterwards and definatly smiling.

Wednesday 25 March 2015

Be More Thoughtful

I've been thinking about my friends a lot this week. I don't see them very often but with school holidays looming I'll get to socialise a bit. Being in training and shift changes have impacted on my seeing friends whilst I'm out and about. When we do speak it's often them asking how I am so I often don't know what's going on with them.
To be more thoughtful I'm trying to consider some of the non-material needs some of my friends have right now and how I can help, maybe just by spending time, listening or making them a cuppa.
I'm also continuing to develop my ideas around the needs of the staff I work with, and how these might be met from a spiritual perspective. Helping people feel valued is important in any community - work, family, friends or church.

Tuesday 24 March 2015

Be More Welcoming

Another year of failing this particular task. I'm determined that before Easter day I will rectify this...watch this space!
I'm one of those people who believes God prizes hospitality higher than most things...yet I'm still so bad at it. I'm determined to do better.

Monday 23 March 2015

Be Still

It's been a work day, so the usual craziness and business, but right now I'm lying in the dark, calm and still. I can hear the dog grunting (that's her default setting), my husband breathing and my daughter snoring next door. My son will be breathing quietly, unheard over the others.
There are no other sounds.
It's in this stillness at night that I do my thinking and my praying, reviewing my day, praying especially for the people I've cared for and worked with, pondering what I've done well and where I could have done better. I think about what tomorrow holds.
This is how I fall asleep, in the darkness,  with God.

Sunday 22 March 2015

Let a Woman...

This evening I preached at Evensong, the final sermon in a series of what it means to be a Christian in the 21st Century

1 Timothy 2:8-15

"I desire, then, that in every place the men should pray, lifting up holy hands without anger or argument; also that the women should dress themselves modestly and decently in suitable clothing, not with their hair braided, or with gold, pearls, or expensive clothes, but with good works, as is proper for women who profess reverence for God. Let a woman learn in silence with full submission. I permit no woman to teach or to have authority over a man; she is to keep silent. For Adam was formed first, then Eve; and Adam was not deceived, but the woman was deceived and became a transgressor. Yet she will be saved through childbearing, provided they continue in faith and love and holiness, with modesty."

It may be odd to begin a sermon with a quote from renowned atheist Caitlin Moran, but I feel she might help me to explain what I mean when I say I’m a feminist. When we say “I’m a Christian”, depending upon people’s experiences and influences, it may get a negative reaction, similarly the word feminism has some negative associations, so in Caitlin’s words “I’m neither ‘pro-women’ nor ‘anti-men’, I’m just ‘thumbs up for the six billion’… feminism (is) simply the belief that women should be as free as men”.

Even Disney have realised in recent years that the expectations of girls have changed. They no longer make films where fulfilment is found with the love of a handsome prince- Tiana in the Frog Princess dreams of her own business and works hard to achieve it, in Frozen it’s sisterly love that saves the day and in Maleficent maternal love. In Europe, and especially in the UK, women and men are more equal than they’ve ever been and whilst it’s something that’s still evolving, attitudes are changing.

On the 26th of January we saw Libby Lane consecrated as the first female Anglican bishop in the UK. The first women priests were ordained in 1994 so in the future it may seem incredible that it took us over 20 years to take this next step in women’s ministry.

According The Guardian around a 5th of full time, and a half of part time, c of e priests are women. If you look at the numbers of people ordained in recent years the figures for both men and women are becoming fairly equal. When I look at local licencings, or around the classroom at the people I’m training with, I feel we’ll soon be in a position where significantly more women than men will be trained and ordained.

In the future will we scratch our heads wondering why it took almost 2000 years of church history to place women into these leadership roles? From the outside it may seem that our church is an outdated institution, battling to remain relevant, but these changes and developments have been made under the weight of some very tricky theology, like our reading from 1 Timothy.

At first reading it may seem as if the passage is incredibly anti-women and has often been seen this way. This passage has been used to justify the suppression and subjection of women, both in the home and the church, where it’s been used to deny women those leadership roles.

But as much as it would simplify things to take our scripture at face value, almost all of the bible needs interpretation, remembering that it was written in a different time, in a different language and for an entirely different culture. Context is always important.

Scripture contains both universal truths and advice specific to a particular context, particularly the epistles, for which we only have half the story, as we can only guess at many of the details and questions the letters were addressing.

On examination the way I read this text is that the women in the community being addressed come from societies where women have been forbidden to learn and in many legal systems are property rather than people. Education would previously have been denied to them. The illustration of Eve’s deception is used to show what can happen when someone isn’t educated, because although God taught Adam not to eat the fruit, Adam neglected to educate Eve on that matter!
The emerging church, within its context, is quite revolutionary in allowing women to be educated at all. The issue may not be that these individuals are women but that they are uneducated. The women must first learn themselves, so cannot currently be teachers.

To explain my interpretation I return to the idea that the bible contains both universal truths (to be applied in all situations) and context specific advice. To decide if a passage contains universal truths we must see if its teaching holds up against other parts of scripture.
An absolute truth must be able to be applied to every area of life. We know there were prominent women in the early church; Priscilla instructed Apollos alongside Aquila, Euodia and Syntyche laboured alongside Paul, Phoebe was a deacon, Phillip’s four daughters were prophetesses and Timothy’s own family, Lois and Eunice, taught him the faith.
Looking at the creation story we read in the book of Genesis:

“So God created humankind in his image,
   in the image of God he created them;
   male and female he created them.”

We are all equally made in God’s image.
So what does this mean for us today? We’ve worked through this tricky theology, had women priests for over 20 years and we look forward to seeing Bishop Libby’s ministry develop. But that’s here, in a reasonably equal and fair UK. We are one small part of the Anglican Communion. Where are there inequalities and how can a feminist theology help?

Addressing sexual inequality in education is known to help in a countries development. Failing to educate girls has been identified as a factor in limiting economic growth in the developing world. Because of this the UN set itself a target to eliminate the gender gap in education by this year, 2015.

Some countries such as China, Bangladesh and Indonesia look on target to achieve this but others, particularly Africa, which as a continent has a quickly growing Christian population, won’t achieve this. In secondary education on the African continent figures from 2010 show that for every 100 boys in education there were only 82 girls. Figures from Christian Aid tell us that women make up 64% of the world’s illiterate population.

Education inequality in just the beginning and even girls who complete their education are likely to find themselves in less secure, lower paid jobs. Girls who leave education early are more likely to find themselves in early marriages and more likely to suffer domestic abuse. One in Three women will be exposed to domestic abuse and figures from the UN claim women aged 15-44 are more likely to die or suffer disability from an act of violence than from cancer, malaria, traffic accidents and war combined.

On a worldwide level women are far from equal and the belief we have mostly overcome in the West - that God, and the bible, condone this – still prevails. This is why I think feminism in Christianity is important and needed, and why Christian organisations such as Christian Aid have made addressing gender inequality a priority.

I can argue as a feminist why treating a women or girl as a second class citizen is wrong, but if I’m arguing against a system where the belief is that it’s God’s natural order for things to be that way I will always lose…but if we can open our bibles and say here is where God and our collective history affirms we are all made equally in God’s image, then we have a chance to change hearts and minds and work towards a truly equal and loving world. A thumbs up for the six billion, all equal and all equally loved by God.

Share More

This will be short but terribly sweet.
There were many years where my entire ministry in my work place was that of baking and sharing cake. Since starting training the times I've been able to do this are very few, which makes me incredibly sad.
Yesterday was a work day so no chance to bake, and the day before was a slightly selfish one. This means cake sharing will happen tomorrow after baking today- I've been looking for an excuse to try our my dalek cake pan!

Friday 20 March 2015

Think More Positively

I am an optimist- it's my coping mechanism. If all else fails, when things seem at there bleakest, I often laugh...OK this can border on being a wee bit manic but you'll rarely see me glum. I really am so grateful for all that I have and I truly believe all problems have a solution. This makes me sound rather insufferable but even in the darkest of times there's a glimmer of hope, a spark of humour or that tiny grain of positivity. I see that all the time with patients and their families- the positivity some are able to maintain where there may be little hope to cling to. It puts whatever small issues I might be dealing with into perspective.
If all else fails there's always Julian of Norwich:
"All shall be well
And all shall be
And all manner of thing shall be well"
It will be, one way or another. Julian lived through pretty unsettled times (plague and what not) and yet her optimism shines through as she interprets the world as being created by a God of joy, compassion and mercy.


Thursday 19 March 2015

Slow Down

I'm often told to slow down, I'm doing too much, I've taken on too much and it's true that with working, family and training there is little opportunity to slow down. The last 3 weeks have been particularly challenging but after submitting my assignment on Wednesday I feel like I have a little respite.
I certainly moved at a slower pace yesterday - I actually ate breakfast at home rather than in the car, I spent my chaplaincy time reflecting and taking stock of where I was up to in my placement, and last evening after college I chose sleep over blogging.
Moving so quickly it's easy to miss the things God wants us to notice. Taking time to reflect I've made some connections about the last few weeks and my ideas for creative spiritual staff support at work might actually be forming into something workable.
If we slow down, even for a moment, we might more easily see where God is pointing us towards next.

Wednesday 18 March 2015

Listen More Carefully

I am a terrible listener. I have zero concentration span, but at least I recognise my short comings! Anything that helps me to try and focus my listening can only be a good thing, as those closest to me can often feel like I have my mind elsewhere (which I usually do). I'm also an interrupter, not because I think what I have to say is more important than other people but because my short concentration span means if I don't say what's on my mind, as it comes into my mind, I'll forget it again within 30 seconds. I probably seem very rude sometimes.
Just spending a few minutes properly listening to someone benefits you both- they feel valued and you may learn something! Last Thursday I spent the day with the Wythenshawe Hospital chaplaincy team and one of the places they took me to was the dementia ward. Frank, one of the chaplains, told me to have a wander and chat to the patients- and what a wonderful and valuable experience it was.
If you really listen to someone with advanced dementia, whilst to begin with the conversation may not seem to make much sense, as you go on you pick up on cues, words and phrases that give you an insight into what they are trying to communicate to you. When talking to someone with dementia listening is the key to effective communication. It's something I really pray I can be better at.

Tuesday 17 March 2015

Care For Your Friends More

It's that point during Lent when I get to reflect upon what a bad friend I am- at least physically. I think about my friends everyday and I try to keep in touch with them electronically, but the realities of work, family and training make is difficult to spend actual time with them. When it comes to sending birthday cards on time I'm a total failure! But I am thinking of them, I'm praying for them, and I'm looking forward to a time when things are a bit less hectic and we can spend more actual time together.

Monday 16 March 2015

Save Water

I must admit I seriously considered not blogging tonight- I don't know what to write. From my alarm going off at 5.45 this morning until I hopped into bed at 10.20 tonight my mind has been so focused on work that I hadn't even remembered today's task.
It's hard to deny that work is difficult at the moment but what I've found is that my ordination training gives me strength and a different perspective which gets me though the tough times. I can't achieve any of it in my own strength - I hand it all over to God. And when he asks me "would you be anywhere else?" The answer is always, unquestionably, "no".

Job 5:10
He gives rain on the earth
   and sends waters on the fields;

Sunday 15 March 2015

Think of Others More

I was actually on the receiving end of today's task as my family did jobs at home I would usually do whilst I was at work. The week being what it has means the house was in even more chaos than usual and my kids and husband did their best to get things back in order.
It was so lovely to come home to find they'd been able to complete some of the tasks that needed doing- it took a weight off my mind and took a bit of my stress away.
To have someone lend a much needed or unexpected hand can make all the difference to your day- we know that as nurses. Someone doing just one thing on your 'to do' list can make the difference between a smooth day and a stressful one.
We're not always good at asking for the help we need- or noticing when others are in need of our help. We need to get better at saying when we're struggling, but also at picking up the ques from those around us who we can help but who may not, like us, be good at saying so.

Romans 12:10
love one another with mutual affection; outdo one another in showing honour.

Friday 13 March 2015

Have More Fun

Unfortuately this week has been anything but fun! Trying to complete an assignment and coping with a tooth infection (which brought me back from my training residential), I also experienced a very upsetting cardiac arrest event at work (an incredibly rare event).
Today was set aside for more assignment work and a follow up dental appointment - not much opportunity for fun to be found. Sometimes as much as we want a bit of fun there is just no let up- no chance for recreation or just to let our hair down. I'm lucky because I know it won't be that long until I get some respite.
Whilst this week has been incredibly challenging it's also been really affirming.  The teamwork at the arrest was fantastic and through those events, and unpacking it all with my spiritual director, it confirmed for me that I'm working where I want to be.
There was further affirmation yesterday when I spent time with the Wythenshawe hospital  chaplaincy team. I spent time with dementia patients, on neonatal ICU and on the Mental Health unit. It was such a privilege to chat to people and hear a little of their stories and see what gave them hope.
Life is certainly not all fun and games but it is rich and varied, often sad, but in the midst of it all is that hope.

Psalm 16:11
You show me the path of life.
   In your presence there is fullness of joy;
   in your right hand are pleasures for evermore.

Thursday 12 March 2015

Be More Peaceful

When I was at university Dermot Morgan, the actor who played Father Ted, died very suddenly. I was bereft, being obsessed with the show, so as soon as I could arrange it I hopped on a train from Liverpool to Bolton to go out, dance and get drunk with my best friend Lindsay.
Tonight I feel like doing the same thing, although it's Lindsay's husband I want to raise a glass with, for he like myself is a huge fan of Terry Pratchett. Today we learned the beyond sad news that Sir Terry had died, eight years after being diagnosed with early onset Altzheimer's disease.
At the age of 12 I was an avid library user, both parents being bibliophiles. My excitement upon turning 13 was immense because I could now access the young adult fiction. In particular I had been eyeing up a book I wanted to borrow as soon as I was old enough, mainly due to its cover artwork by Josh Kirby. The book was Equal Rites. It introduced me to Discworld, a place I have never left. Eventually I convinced my husband to join me there, and now my kids are coming along too- my daughter went to last week's World Book Day as Tiffany Aching.
Whilst I don't intend to leave Discworld anytime soon, the news of Sir Terry's death, a man of such genius imagination, leaves me just so ridiculously sad.
It has however had me reminiscing about my days spent in the library and how formative those years between 11 and 15 were. As well as Discworld I discovered my enduring love for Sean Bean, Hugh Laurie and Doc Martens. I also discovered one of my other true and eternal loves- like Terry I found him down the library. As well as access to the Discworld books at 13 I could borrow music. As with my book choices I often borrowed music based on the cover, which is probably how I ended up borrowing ChangesBowie, a David Bowie singles compilation, and I fell in love forever. As I drove home from college tonight I listened to that album rather loudly and the familiarity and comfort filled me with immense peace. Those songs still make me feel like I'm 13 again and I never grow weary of them.
It's interesting that most of the things I still love completely are from that time- will the things I'm purposefully doing now to aid my formation as a priest have as much influence on me? When I look back in 20 years what will have influenced me most as a Minister?

Philippians 4:7
And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Wednesday 11 March 2015

Be A Good Neighbour

I've done my best to be a good neighbour today but I've hardly seen anyone! The only downside of living in a rather quiet little street. It does lead me to reflect, perhaps predictably, upon who my neighbour is.
I believe with my whole heart that each person in this world is equal. No matter what their religion, race, political affiliation or other leanings we are one people all loved equally by God. As such each person I meet, as well as being my brother or sister in Christ, is my neighbour. We dwell together. I am no better than them and they are no better than me.
I always, no matter what my disagreements or irritations may be, try to see others as God sees them.

Romans 16:20
The God of peace will shortly crush Satan under your feet. The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you.

Tuesday 10 March 2015

Be More Open

As with yesterday's task it was very difficult on a 12 hour shift to think of an inventive way to interpret today's task. I like to do and experience new things but during a hectic work day I often cling to the familiar and the routine aspects of my job which help punctuate and structure my day. They also serve as navigation points, letting me know I'm on track.
I'll see if I can find time to experience something new over the next few days o on my days off.

Isaiah 42:9
See, the former things have come to pass,
   and new things I now declare;
before they spring forth,
   I tell you of them.

Monday 9 March 2015

Take Care of Your Home

A really difficult task to accomplish when working a 12 hour shift so my plan for today had been to clean out my locker and ensure our communal work areas remained uncluttered. Sadly the best laid plans often get chucked out of the window, especially you're dealing with acutely unwell patients who can deteriorate so quickly despite all our best efforts.
Today there was order in what might of seemed from the outside chaotic. Today a medical team worked together to preserve life, but sometimes even the best of endeavours are unsuccessful.

Luke 15:8
‘Or what woman having ten silver coins, if she loses one of them, does not light a lamp, sweep the house, and search carefully until she finds it?

Sunday 8 March 2015

Keep in Touch More


"2 Corinthians 1:1

THE SECOND LETTER OF PAUL TO THE
Corinthians

Salutation

Paul, an apostle of Christ Jesus by the will of God, and Timothy our brother,

To the church of God that is in Corinth, including all the saints throughout Achaia:"

When I read the above there's a little voice in my head quoting the Eddie Izzard sketch "...who's idea was it to get Paul as a penpal?!"

I'm led to believe it's my introverted personality that makes me freak out at the thought of using or answering the phone. All phone calls have to be made on my own terms in my own time...which is a roundabout way of saying not only is my blog a day late but I failed in my task.
I have excuses- I was away on a training weekend and have developed a rather bothersome tooth abscess which brought me home early to seek treatment. I did Skype my family whilst away but that probably doesn't count.
I know I'm terrible at reaching out - text and instant messaging has been such a blessing to me. It's something I need to overcome and I sometimes resent the introverted parts of my personality which can at times be a barrier to my ministry.

Friday 6 March 2015

Do Something Different

I failed to have a screen free day, mainly because I had so much college stuff to catch up on, and I'm away from home on a training weekend so Skype was a must.
I did, however do something different. For the first time I've got a college assignment that lends itself to me focusing on my MSE (Minister in Secular Employment) vocation. Today I made a presentation to work colleagues to pitch an idea about approaching staff support from a spiritual perspective. My ideas were well received and I'm hoping my plans will bear fruit.

Romans 7:19
For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I do.

Thursday 5 March 2015

Make Your Local Area Cleaner

Tonight was a college night, and it was my turn on the rota to design and lead the opening worship alongside my friend Alison. We decided to build the 10 minute slot around today's LLLL task, focusing on our role as stewards of creation.
It can be overwhelming to think about the polar ice caps melting or areas of rainforest being sold off for oil drilling or development - and what's more there seems very little we can do to effect change in these huge environmental issues.
We can, however, bring about change in our local area and ask questions of ourselves. Where is creation in the places we live in being damaged and where is it being built up? Where do I stand on proposed local fracking sites? What needs to be preserved and what is necessary change?
Many small changes can bring about one big one, which is the whole ethos of Love Life Live Lent.

Genesis 2:15
The Lord God took the man and put him in the garden of Eden to till it and keep it.

Wednesday 4 March 2015

Be More Generous

I like this task as it gives me a chance to use my imagination. I decided a couple of weeks ago who would be the recipient of my random gift, which I won't get to give until Friday, but it's all ready.
Generosity is such an amazing thing because everyone involved wins! The receiver of generosity feels good, which makes the giver of generosity feel good. I do honestly feel happier when I give something, it's a wonderful and peculiar sort of magic. For it to be a random gift- no expectation on either side- is even better. Giving just for sake of being generous. That's how I believe God gives, and delights when we do the same.

2 Corinthians 8:7
Now as you excel in everything—in faith, in speech, in knowledge, in utmost eagerness, and in our love for you—so we want you to excel also in this generous undertaking.