15th December 2019

A long (but lovely) shift today at the end of a long but lovely week, so I'm just going to leave you with today's Northumbria Community reflection, which is another of of their best;

Be open to the night…

Pray with open hand, not with clenched fist…

Shapes loom out of the darkness, uncertain and unclear: but the hooded stranger on horseback emerging from the mist need not be assumed to be the bearer of ill…

The night is large and full of wonders…

Lord Dunsany

10 days to go!!

14th December 2019

It's been a crazy 48 hours, I've not had much time to process the aftermath of the election because of last night's sleep-in (I think I had 5 hours sleep, but we're nearly at our £500 target!!) then this morning we made 100 Christingles for tomorrow's service. The rest of the day has been sorting out the aftermath of last night.

I guess I had a little time yesterday morning, before leading the chaplaincy eucharist, to think about how I wanted to respond to our current political situation. The gospel reading was Matthew 11.16-19 and my reflection upon it was this; we often reject what we can't understand rather than try to figure out what it does or could mean. I hope in light of the election and continuing tensions we can be people who try to understand the things that it might be our instinct to reject and turn away from, to be an example of how we may try and understand those we might be tempted to "other" and where disagreement exists may this be done with compassion, knowing each of us is equally loved by the God who created us and who longs for us to thrive alongside each other.

13th December 2019

The photo at the bottom of the page is my current view, lying in my sleeping bag on the floor of St Michael's church, Flixton. It's been quite a day, I didn't really sleep last night having seen the exit poll before going to bed. I'm currently trying to convince a bunch of teenagers that they really want to go to sleep...that's not going so well as yet so there may not be much sleep tonight either.

Whatever your politics tonight has been a wonderful experience for all of us; food, fellowship, Muppets Christmas Carol; and all to do our best, although it's really not much at all, to do something that will help those in our city who are vulnerable and marginalised as we raise money to support The Booth Centre.

A line from today's reflection is Safe in the deepening darkness, uncover a heart that sings (Andy Raine), and that's what each of  us needs to do. Whatever darkness we may be experiencing stop, listen and wait. Eventually, somehow, we will uncover a heart that sings.

12th December 2019

Today is polling day, the general election. I've just seen the exit poll and let's just say things don't appear to be leaning the way I'd like. And yet...there's so much that has delighted me today from the unusual number of people I encountered at the polling station and #youthquake trending on Twitter to, of course, the fabulous photos of dogs outside polling booths. 

Whoever is in government tomorrow I'll continue to live my life by the princles that govern how I cast my vote; compassion for those I share this world with, a desire for the marginalised to be seen and included, a will to steward creation and a wish for peace. 

Advent is a very odd time for an election in the UK, but we're living in extraordinary times. My wish is that whoever we are and whatever our differences the joy of the approaching festive season will serve to bring us together.

Tomorrow night I'm sleeping over in our church to raise money for The Booth Centre, a charity supporting those who are homeless or at risk of becoming homeless in Manchester. We're joining together as a community to support other members of our community, we're joining together because of a shared compassion and a will to want to do something, however small. 

11th December 2019

Christmas cards are written- oh miracle of miracles! I don't do many but it's always the most gruelling Christmas task, which it shouldn't be because it's a lovely excuse for a sit down.

Today's Northumbria Community meditation is another favourite, and perfect for this Advent season of spiritual preparation;

Have patience with everything unresolved in your heart,
and try to love the questions themselves
as if they were locked rooms
or books written in a very foreign language.

Do not search for the answers, which could not be given to you now,
because you would not be able to live them.
And the point is to live everything.
Live the questions now.
Perhaps then, someday far in the future,
you will gradually,
without even noticing it, live your way into the answer.

Rainer Maria Rilke

At this time of year it can feel like normal life is on hold, we push certain things away and that can include our need for answers, depending upon what's going on in our lives. The meditation reminds us that answers can come not necessarily from our own searching but from the gradual passage of time; simply living our lives in the present can lead to a slowly unfurling answer to those unresolved things.

10th December 2019

We’re all in winter’s grip, 

but even more caught is the person who loves 

because they’re held by Love’s power. 

If anyone is bold enough and strong enough to risk everything in an adventure— welcome the sweet and the bitter— 

they should send Love an invoice. 

Then they’ll touch Love with total tenderness. 

—Hadewijch

As much as I love Christmas there's often a slight tinge of melancholy at remembering the sweetness of past Christmas celebrations with those we loved and who have died. The depth of the love we've felt for someone usually directly correlates to the depth of grief we feel without them. No matter how far away we are from the bereavement Christmas can be a time when you feel the ache of grief a little more strongly.

I love remembering the traditions I shared with my grandparents and great aunts, and my husband and I take time to remember his mum and how they celebrated Christmas. We also see how we've built new traditions with our family, such as the Advent tree I prepare for the kids or having all the family come to us on Boxing day. We carry the sweetness and the bitterness in our hearts, remembering those we love whilst making memories for our own children to look back on.

9th December 2019

Today was one of those days that renews my love of my job. Everyone I've encountered today - colleagues, patients and visitors - have been a reminder of why I still work as a ward nurse after nearly 20 years. 

Most people I work with have no idea how special they are, what a difference they make, and I often wish some of them who lack confidence in their abilities could see themselves as others see them. 

Today's Northumbria Community reflection spoke of our inability to see ourselves as God sees us;

God sees a true picture of me with all my faults and limitations, but more than this He sees a picture of all the possibilities and potential I hold...in the end it is all about becoming God’s picture of me.