Act 17 - Propose

The idea of today being a 'free' day due to the leap year is an interesting one, because it isn't. It's still a Monday, the kids had to go to school, my husband had to work an early shift and I had to work on an assignment. The time we have is all marked out, portioned off and given away. Before we know it, it's time for bed and my head has turned towards tomorrow. Day in, day out. Time is precious.

I recently listened to a podcast which spoke about how we spend our time (it might have been a Robcast) and a very interesting point was made; time is the one commodity we have that we cannot get back, so what we choose to do with it is so important- there's no buying more or topping it up. It made me reflect upon how many years of my life I and my friends have given to training for the priesthood, and how glad I am to spend my precious time this way. It also made me ponder upon the ways I waste time. Which activities are really worth spending something so precious upon?

Gandalf, in Tolkien's Lord of The Rings (sorry- I'm a geek), tells Frodo "all we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us". Wise words indeed. Today I took just a few moments of time to let a few folk who I've been praying for know they were in my thoughts. No big generous gesture, just small stuff, but small stuff matters too.

But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing’ (Matthew 6:3) and ‘Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you’ (Matthew 5:42 NIV).

Care For Your Friends More

It's that point during Lent when I get to reflect upon what a bad friend I am- at least physically. I think about my friends everyday and I try to keep in touch with them electronically, but the realities of work, family and training make is difficult to spend actual time with them. When it comes to sending birthday cards on time I'm a total failure! But I am thinking of them, I'm praying for them, and I'm looking forward to a time when things are a bit less hectic and we can spend more actual time together.

Time

I would so love to be able to complete today's task, but I'm too busy! It feels like an excuse, but I'm spread so thinly I don't know how I could even begin to think about sparing time.
Today I took the children to school, wrote a 1500 word essay, took part in the work Christmas quiz (ok, that was a lot of fun) and wrote prayers for tomorrow morning's service. That's a pretty normal day!
I've written before about being "time poor" and not feeling like we're giving enough time to certain things or people can result in a lot of guilt. We're just trying our best, and God knows that.

Feed the birds

How many interesting new ways can I find to say I failed at today's task? It's been another challenging day and I'm pretty late getting home. I have a 13 page chapter to read tonight so I can concentrate on my assignment tomorrow. So many things in my life are telling me Christmas will soon be here but am I ready to receive it? There's so much competition for my time that I'm trying to deal with things one day at a time, I can't cope any other way.
My assignment is about theology in Christmas carols, which has made me notice a lot of stuff I haven't before. I was never a fan of O Holy Night until I read the words, particularly:
" He knows our need, our weakness is no stranger".
So even in my worst weeks, when I've pushed God aside and am trying to do all this in my own strength, God knows the worst of me as well as my best and he wants me anyway. That's pretty remarkable.

Gift

Today has been a hectic work day with so little time to focus anything outside of what was immediately happening - it's a sort of extreme form of mindfulness! Some days you can't think about what comes next, only what you're doing at that moment. Any thoughts of it being Christmas soon evaporate and it's easy not to include God in my day.
I didn't get chance to look at today's task until really late so sadly no one received an unexpected gift from me. I did give a hug where it was really needed, and time which I didn't have when someone really needed to speak and share. I think that means as much.

Time

In our family, as with so many others, the thing we lack most is time. With working full time, training for the priesthood, two children still in primary school and one curmudgeonly beagle I often feel like I'm pulled in all directions and don't give enough time to any of it.
The people who seem to get the worst end of the deal are the five who love me most- my husband, children and parents. Times when I feel I should be with then I'm often in work or doing homework. If I could give them anything this Christmas it would be more time.
The way my shifts fall this year I will have more time with them Christmas week then I have for many years and I intend to savour each moment as much as I can. I also need to take the time to thank my parents for all they do to ensure my children are in the correct place, clothed and fed when I'm working 12 hour shifts!
I'm so blessed to be so loved but I'm not good at taking time to tell them I feel that way.
Today's task was to think who has been important to you this year and thank them in a Christmas card. I'll be writing my cards this Sunday, but what I need to express far exceeds what I could manage with words.

Be More Giving

Today has been so full- there's been so much to do and so much to think about.
Today's action was to set aside a jar for loose change to donate to charity and the kids decided they want to give the money to cancer research. As I work in oncology I was really pleased with their choice.

The Bible passage on today's LLLL page is all about the wedding at Cana and the overwhelming generosity God displayed. It's a reminder that there's ways I can be generous that don't involve money. A phrase I've heard, don't particularly like, but feel applies to me is "time poor". With my work, family and ordination training I have to choose really carefully how I'm going to spend my time and something always gets neglected.
On Sunday, whilst working a 13 1/2 hour shift at work, I found out my children had been asked to dress up for World Book Day- which is today. I had a mild panic knowing that between Sunday and today I was only not in work on Monday morning, but needed to shop then. How on earth was I going to sort costumes?! Things like this happen all the time and I can often feel that I'm not giving my children enough of my time. They did, thankfully, mainly sort their own costumes (with a bit of help from dad) and I sent a panda and Emmet the Lego guy happily to school.

Later on years 3, 4, 5 and 6 from the school joined us in church for a teaching Eucharist service where I preached about LLLL and each child was given a prayer card based on it's principles.
Tonight I was back in college after the half term break, where I was reminded that I'm not the only one struggling with time.

So how on earth do I give more of the thing I haven't got? I want to give more time to my family and my friends but I don't have it to offer them. I don't have an answer to this but as part of my challenge I can think about how I'm spending my time and what my priorities are.

John 2.9-10: When the steward tasted the water that had become wine, and did not know where it came from (though the servants who had drawn the water knew), the steward called the bridegroom and said to him, ‘Everyone serves the good wine first, and then the inferior wine after the guests have become drunk. But you have kept the good wine until now.’

Bless all the dear children

There doesn't seem to have been much time this Christmas just to hang out with my kids and do whatever they want to do, so this evening I made sure they each had time with me to do whatever they wanted.
My son was first- we built a wooden fort together. We did a fantastic job as we had no instructions and no clue where to start! We were finished within 30 minutes and he was soon racing his knight around it- first riding a unicorn, and later a puffin.
My daughter wanted to bake- I let her choose and she decided upon mini choc cupcakes. They were delicious!
It's such a special time- it won't be long before they no longer want my help, or think they know better. It's important to give them my time when they want it, and celebrate the fact they still need their mum.