One Year On

I've not blogged since Easter. Every time I think about it something else pops up and there doesn't seem to be time. I thought that over the summer I might find time to write but changes at work and a modicum of upheaval at home have meant summer has not been what I expected.
This time last year I was fretting over not finding time to complete the pre-course work book I'd been given. Now I'm fretting over the 3000 word assignment due in 5 weeks...and yet...so far, so okay.
I've officially completed my first year of ordination training- 1/3 of the way there. I've not failed anything, I've met every deadline but more importantly I feel as if I'm being formed into something.
So much has happened, I've learned so much (a stark reminder of how much I still don't know) and, perhaps most significantly, met an amazing group of people. When I think about the last 12 months my first thoughts are about people. There's the wider group of people; the Manchester readers and ordinands who meet on Thursday evenings at Luther King House and the 3 year groups of ordinands who meet for residential weekends. Then there's the smaller group, our little group of first years- although I guess we're penultimate years now! Just 8 of us to begin with, we grew to 9 after Christmas and now we're a 18! Over the months we've bonded and learned to trust each other, sharing in something so unique together.
In July we were all at Summer School, 7 days living together in community; sharing meals, worship and a classroom. It was a fantastic opportunity to get to know some of those in the year above, and meet new people on 1 or 2 year pathways.
At times it's been intense, especially at Christmas and Easter- intensely busy times in the secular world married together with the busiest times in family life and church life, now with the added joy of essays!! Yet...there's been no major meltdown and I don't think I've had more than a passing sniffle in almost 12 months.
Sometimes I feel like I'm looking at the world through new eyes, more keenly aware of myself and my actions, the joys in life and the struggles of others. I'm especially aware of how little I can do in terms of big changes needed in the world,  so am settling for the small ones. Kindness, fairness, compassion, justice, being an advocate when needed.
Yet...most of the time I'm still just...me. Sweary, easily distracted, irritatingly whimsical, a bit daft, unsure of myself and unsure how on earth I ended up training to be a priest. Maybe we need unholy, uneducated, whimsical priests with a short attention span. I'm sure God knows what he's doing.