Sunday 31 December 2017

On the seventh day of Christmas...rest in the manger

On Boxing Day one of my colleagues made the mistake of saying Christmas was over- it certainly is not!! I didn't spend Advent in (sort of) prayerful preparation to let it all be done in one day. I'm not ready to leave the manger yet. As my church colleague Vaughan preached this morning, that manger is the calm eye of the storm on either side of Christmas, and I plan to rest there for twelve days.

The following reflection is an amalgamation of the Christmas Eve and Christmas Day entries from Bishop Stephen Cottrell's book "Do Nothing... Christmas is Coming: An Advent Calendar with a Difference".

“So here it is Merry Christmas, everybody’s having fun; look to the future now it’s only just begun.”

So sang Slade all those years ago (and in every shop in England for the past six weeks!), but here’s the nub, the real clue to the future: Mary listened to angels and found things born in her; travelled great distances and found things given to her; Joseph listened to dreams and found reality; the shepherds left their work and found their joy; and wise men abandoned the wisdom, charts, maps, compasses and guidebooks that they already possessed to follow a new star that was rising before them.

In order to listen and in order to dream; in order to smile with joy and in order to travel vast distances; in order to learn new ways and trust new leaders; you first need to stop, to take stock of what you really want from life and where you will really find the direction, affirmation and purposes you seek. It is the longest journey you will ever make. It requires a complete reorientation. It is also the shortest – its beginning and end can be found in the stable at Bethlehem, a way in a manger.

One of my best Christmas memories is from the church in Chichester where I was the parish priest. Because the building was so small, and because every other available inch of space was needed for chairs, we used to put the crib underneath the altar.
One Christmas morning, about halfway through the service, a little girl, Miriam, toddled up to the front of the church. She can only have been about two or three at the time. For several minutes she stood before the crib, gazing intently at the figures. Then, very carefully, so as not to wake the baby, she stepped inside and sat down.

And as people looked at the crib that Christmas, as well as the shepherds and the angels and the ox and the ass, and Mary and Joseph and the baby Jesus, they saw Miriam. She sat there for the rest of the service, content to have become part of the story. She was the best Christmas sermon I have ever experienced

Saturday 30 December 2017

On the sixth day of Christmas...if

Unfortunately I can't find a recording of this to share with you, it's a fairly new John Bell hymn which I first sang at St Peter's House church community based in the chaplaincy of Manchester University. I was on placement there during my ordination training. John Bell and the Iona community are very special, the island itself kept creeping into my life, even before I had a faith, and we visited for the first time as a family this year. The Celtic traditions linking ourselves and our worship to the natural world is something which resonates deeply with me and I usually wear a celtic trinity symbol rather than a cross, the interwoven knots a reminder of all things being joined in relationship. The trinity above all else is about relationship.

If my name was Mary
(just sixteen with a child)
forced to flee my country
(failing state turning wild)
would you find a place for me?

If the town I came from
once had been occupied
by your nation’s soldiers
at whose hands my dad died,
would you find a place for me?

If your nation’s air force
dropped their bombs on my street
on the wrong presumption
that was where rebels meet,
would you find a place for me?

If I’d  learned your country
saw and heard of our plight
but remained persuaded
we were wrong, you were right,
would you find a place for me?

If the boat I paid for
was unfit to set sail
and if seeking refuge
was now certain to fail,
would you find a place for me?

If my name was Mary
(just sixteen with a child);
if his name was Jesus…

Words: John L. Bell, copyright (c) 2015 WGRG, c/o Iona Community, Glasgow, Scotland. www.wildgoose.scot

On the fifth day of Christmas...dwell in it

Sheri Ellwood's prayer for the Christmas season, originally found here:

I have heard it said that people of Christian faith should be more about Easter and less about Christmas. Easter is a powerful hope but it deals with things beyond this life.  It is a sure and certain hope but one that eludes my imagination, confounds my concrete mind.

The crucifixion is something I can wrap my mind around. We have only to open our eyes and our hearts to the realities of the world and we recognize the darkness of Good Friday. When the season is upon us I will dwell with great gratitude at the foot of the cross. 

But, Lord God, I want to stay for a while in Christmas where hope is something I can cradle to my chest. I want to dwell here where music sings the promise of love, reminding me of those Mary moments in my life when it seems truth and love are about to burst forth from within and change the world. 

Let me hearken to Mary’s song and hear it as a radical claim awakening me for the sake of revolution, to grab hold of the Kingdom of God already present amongst us.

Let me look into the face of the clearest revelation of your love and let him transform me so that when the “Slaughter of the Innocents” comes again upon this world I will stand up and say, “NO MORE.”

Let me dwell here in the incarnation of your love and let it change me so that materialism and consumerism are a distant clamor that has no claim on me.

Lord God, let me dwell here in Christmas for a while. I know I am impatient but you understand how this holiday touches us. Some call it sentimentality but you cradled each of us as you breathed forth the breath of life. You know the power of that tender love. It is life changing, not mere sentiment.

So, let me draw out this Christmas season for a time and savor the message of love herein. Then let me live that love with generosity and courage.

This I ask in the name of your son who is your love in human flesh, Jesus the Christ.

Amen

Friday 29 December 2017

On the fourth day of Christmas...watch the shadows bend

I'm a little behind on the blog as my phone died at work last night, a timely reminder after reflecting on my technology addiction earlier in the day!
I'm going to share another song today, by a lovely chap called Bryan Odeen. We're members of the same online community and he sometimes shares his music with us. I love Bryan's music, it  has an undercurrent of theology which feels very much like my own; open hearted, inclusive and hopeful.
This song is called "Bring the Light" and for me is a message of how, despite our own darkness and vulnerabilities,  we can still be a light for others.
You can listen to it here

Wednesday 27 December 2017

On the third day of Christmas...Amazing Peace

Amazing Peace,
a Christmas poem
by Dr. Maya Angelou

Thunder rumbles in the mountain passes
And lightning rattles the eaves of our houses.
Flood waters await us in our avenues.

Snow falls upon snow, falls upon snow to avalanche
Over unprotected villages.
The sky slips low and grey and threatening.

We question ourselves.
What have we done to so affront nature?
We worry God.
Are you there? Are you there really?
Does the covenant you made with us still hold?

Into this climate of fear and apprehension, Christmas enters,
Streaming lights of joy, ringing bells of hope
And singing carols of forgiveness high up in the bright air.
The world is encouraged to come away from rancor,
Come the way of friendship.

It is the Glad Season.
Thunder ebbs to silence and lightning sleeps quietly in the corner.
Flood waters recede into memory.
Snow becomes a yielding cushion to aid us
As we make our way to higher ground.

Hope is born again in the faces of children
It rides on the shoulders of our aged as they walk into their sunsets.
Hope spreads around the earth. Brightening all things,
Even hate which crouches breeding in dark corridors.

In our joy, we think we hear a whisper.
At first it is too soft. Then only half heard.
We listen carefully as it gathers strength.
We hear a sweetness.
The word is Peace.
It is loud now. It is louder.
Louder than the explosion of bombs.

We tremble at the sound. We are thrilled by its presence.
It is what we have hungered for.
Not just the absence of war. But, true Peace.
A harmony of spirit, a comfort of courtesies.
Security for our beloveds and their beloveds.

We clap hands and welcome the Peace of Christmas.
We beckon this good season to wait a while with us.
We, Baptist and Buddhist, Methodist and Muslim, say come.
Peace.
Come and fill us and our world with your majesty.
We, the Jew and the Jainist, the Catholic and the Confucian,
Implore you, to stay a while with us.
So we may learn by your shimmering light
How to look beyond complexion and see community.

It is Christmas time, a halting of hate time.

On this platform of peace, we can create a language
To translate ourselves to ourselves and to each other.

At this Holy Instant, we celebrate the Birth of Jesus Christ
Into the great religions of the world.
We jubilate the precious advent of trust.
We shout with glorious tongues at the coming of hope.
All the earth's tribes loosen their voices
To celebrate the promise of Peace.

We, Angels and Mortal's, Believers and Non-Believers,
Look heavenward and speak the word aloud.
Peace. We look at our world and speak the word aloud.
Peace. We look at each other, then into ourselves
And we say without shyness or apology or hesitation.

Peace, My Brother.
Peace, My Sister.
Peace, My Soul.

Tuesday 26 December 2017

On the second day of Christmas...Peace on earth, can it be?

As well as being a sucker for a Christmas films I love Christmas music, both sacred and secular. For me the ultimate blending of the two is Bing and Bowie- two of my heroes. You can watch it here:

Little Drummer Boy/Peace on Earth

There's a wonderful hope and innocence to it and with those two iconic voices it creates Christmas magic.
It's a prayer for peace, goodwill, a fulfilment of God's promises and a wish for our children to have hope for the future. There's also the sense of having nothing but ourselves to offer up to God.

I have so much Christmas music and so many playlists that I narrowed my faves to a "best Christmas" playlist- REALLY offering myself up to be judged by sharing this!

I got very shirty with anyone today who tried to claim Christmas was over- just day two folks!!

Monday 25 December 2017

On the first day of Christmas...There's room for everyone on the nice list!

For the twelve days of Christmas I'll continue to blog (yes, my more Catholic friends, I know Christmas continues until Candlemas) but I'll try and do something a bit different each day.

This is my sermon from this morning's all age service, it started life as a very short homily for a carol service, revamped and extended for today.

What’s your favourite Christmas film? Is it an old black and white classic like “It’s a wonderful Life?” Or maybe a timeless classic we all know, retold again and again, like “A Christmas Carol” (I like the Muppets version the best) or is it a more modern feel-good family comedy like “Elf”?

We all have our favourite- maybe even a few- and we might even have traditions that go with watching them- there’s an advert isn’t there with a mum and daughter watching A Sound of Music together over the years? I couldn’t tell you what it’s advertising, but I did get a lump in my throat as the little girl grows up and watches the film with her own daughter.

Maybe your special film is a full family event, snuggled up in onesies with hot chocolate or mulled wine for the grown-ups; there might be bits where you interact with the film, singing along or quoting parts of the film together out loud. Whichever film is our favourite – and we might have several – Christmas films undoubtedly have one thing in common: their stories or plots are almost always redemption stories, of one sort or another:

In “It’s a Wonderful Life" George Bailey, feeling he’s let everyone down and seriously thinking about ending his life on Christmas Eve, gets to see, thanks to Clarence the angel, how much worse off people would have been without him. He goes back to his family a changed man, ready to face the troubles ahead, and is rewarded with unthinkable kindness…and of course Clarence gets his wings.

As any of our younger church members studying it for GCSE will know, “A Christmas Carol” shows Ebenezer Scrooge’s transformation from lonely, unloved miser to the beating heart of his community. He’s shown his past, how it’s made him the man he is and what the direct consequences of his actions mean in the present day and in the future. His redemption leads to a very different future filled with love, hope and life, benefitting everyone around him.

Now who loves “Elf”? In this film we see how Buddy the Elf’s dad, Walter, a modern-day Scrooge, has his heart transformed through his relationship with Buddy. He begins to embrace Christmas and is able to have a loving relationship with both his sons.

These are definitely the type of story we want from a good Christmas film – the feel-good factor. These stories of redemption and hope reflect what’s at the heart of the Christmas story itself, although rather than being the story of one person’s redemption, Christmas is the the story of everyone’s redemption and it happens through love- at Christmas God so loved the world that he sent his only son- we all know those words, in our films it’s love of family, friends or community- something provokes and stirs the hearts of our characters.

George, Ebenezer and Walter, don’t redeem themselves; each of them needs a catalyst or a spark, usually driven by an experience of love, to help them realise the error of their ways and put them on the right path to redemption.

There’s a less well-known Christmas Carol, although I’m sure many of us will know it, the words go this this:

Love came down at Christmas
Love, a lovely love divine
Love was born at Christmas
Stars and angels gave the sign
Love will be our token

Love be yours, and love be mine
Love from God to all of us
Love for plea and gift a sign

It’s love that provokes the change in our film characters, love which is central to the message of Christmas, and love that caused the divine, God himself, to enter our earthly lives as a tiny helpless baby, the catalyst or spark that can cause that outpouring of love in each of us.

The baby in the manger reminds us there are infinite possibilities available to us, and we celebrate that in this whole season of good cheer, gift-giving, and community. For us here this is all about our life as a community, a bunch of people coming together to worship God and to share his love with the world. Christmas gives us the chance to connect with the wider community in Flixton, to raise that spark of something within them, as it did with me when I first walked through those doors for the Nine Lessons and Carols service 16 years ago.

Just the fact that on that evening I was hiding in a side pew, and now I’m stood here is proof that with God’s love anything really is possible!

The magic of Christmas and of course the Christmas films we love, is a taste of what’s possible if we humans could sort ourselves out and really love each other. Jesus as a helpless vulnerable baby symbolizes new life and the potential we all have to be dedicated to a love of “the other” – the things and people so dramatically different from ourselves and our experiences that we don’t always understand them.

As so much of our Christmas celebrations here at St Michaels and how we connect with people at Christmas is to do with singing, like our Christingle services or carolling in the Church Inn, I was reminded of something in Elf which I think reflects the love at the heart of Christmas: The Elf Code, which goes as follows:

1.Treat Every Day Like Christmas. Every day is a day of endless possibilities, a chance to spread love, to give hope and show that really, we humans aren’t so bad. If we can remember each day the gift God has given us, hopefully it’ll inspire us to open our hearts fully each day.

2.There's Room for Everyone on the Nice List. No-one is beyond redemption, this is the whole reason why God came to us to live amongst us. The whole reason for our Christmas celebrations. Everyone has the potential to have their hearts touched by God’s love.

3.The Best Way to Spread Christmas Cheer is Singing Loud for All to Hear. 

Sunday 24 December 2017

The 24th

Christmas renews our youth by stirring our wonder. The capacity for wonder has been called our most pregnant human faculty, for in it are born our art, our science, our religion.

Ralph Sockman

It's 01:10 am and I've just returned from midnight mass. The house is silent, apart from a dripping I can hear from the bathroom. I can hear the wind picking up outside. All is calm. I'm sipping mulled wine and feel completely content. In 6 hours and 20 minutes the kids alarms will go off and another day of crazy will begin; we'll share presents, go to church and then I'll go to work.
Before that, before another day - Christmas Day - before celebrating with those I love, worshipping with my church family and working alongside my amazing colleagues...before that there is this moment of contentment. This moment of knowing I am loved, that the divine is entwined with our seemingly ordinary lives. In this contentment I am resting in God's love. All is calm. All is bright.

Today I felt joy is seeing a full church singing of God's love and love; I was thankful for my faith and I felt helpless that Christmas will be over way too soon.

Scripture
In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God. All things came into being through him, and without him not one thing came into being. What has come into being in him was life, and the life was the light of all people. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not overcome it.
John 1:1-5

Saturday 23 December 2017

The 23rd

Be ready. Be present to God in the here and now, the ordinary, the interruptions. Being fully present to the soul of all things will allow you to say, “This is good. This is enough. In fact, this is all I need.” 

Richard Rohr

Today was my last day off from the hospital before Christmas. The next three days will be an interweaving of nursing, priestly ministry and hospitality. It's my first Christmas as a priest and the first time I can remember working Christmas Eve, Christmas Day and Boxing Day.
I have to remember that I am enough, that I can only give so much and that Jesus will find me just as I am, and I will always be enough for him. Whatever expectations we have of ourselves or perceive others have of us at Christmas, we are always enough for God.

Today I found joy in Christingle making, was thankful for the army of Christingle assemblers and felt helpless as time runs out.

Scripture
The LORD is your keeper; the LORD is your shade on your right hand. The sun shall not strike you by day, nor the moon by night.
Psalm 121:5-6

Friday 22 December 2017

The 22nd

One of the names Jesus is given at his birth is Emmanuel. It means ‘God with us’. The Christmas story is about God revealed in a person, living among us, and known through relationship. Just like all human relationships, this one with God requires honesty and trust. What we need to do now is give it a go...

 ...The human heart is made for community with God. All the joyful, creative things that thrill the human heart – music and dance and football and poetry, walking in the Pennines, or cross stitching a tapestry – are echoes of the joyful, creative God whose overflowing love created it all in the first place and who made us creative. Whenever our heart misses a beat, either in joy or sorrow, we are in touch with the God who is always on the lookout for his beloved – that is us.

Stephen Cottrell

Today I found joy in my husband being silly, was thankful for the NHS and felt helpless when my daughter had an allergic reaction.

Scripture
And he said to them, "Take care, and be on your guard against all covetousness, for one's life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions."
Luke 12:15

Thursday 21 December 2017

The 21st

Listen to your life.
See it for the fathomless mystery that it is.
In the boredom and pain of it
no less than in the excitement and gladness:
touch, taste, smell your way to the holy and hidden heart of it
because in the last analysis all moments are key moments,
and life itself is grace.

Frederick Buechner

We love Christmas because it's extra-ordinary, a sparkle of light and hope in the darker months, a celebration of joy and hope when things in real life are often so bleak or mundane. Our real, every day, ordinary lives are beautiful too, which is easy to forget and not see. Part of my theology is to see and notice how beautiful and remarkable daily life is, some people call this mindfulness. The daily activity of looking for a joyful moment, something to be thankful for and admitting something we felt helpless about is part of this.

Today I found joy in brunching with old friends, I was thankful for the start of the school holidays and I felt helpless over household repairs we never have time for.

Scripture
The people who walked in darkness have seen a great light; those who lived in a land of deep darkness – on them light has shined.
Isaiah 9:2

Wednesday 20 December 2017

The 20th

Take Action

If our faith does not lead us to action, then it has become a dead creedal affirmation of lifeless beliefs. Some of us are already giving of our time, talent and treasure to the limits of our ability; others, maybe not. In either case, Jesus has given us all that is good in life; even love that makes it possible for us to love others.

Br. Robert L'Esperance

Too often Christians are thought of, to those outside the faith (and sometimes inside too), as people who reject, deny and condemn things, people and practices. If I thought that was what I was signing up for I would have run a mile! The faith I found was one of connection, justice, love and action. This is the faith the world should see in action throughout Advent. This is what we should be known for. Jesus was clear; we should be recognised as belonging to him by how we love.

Today I found joy in Sparkle Wednesday! I was thankful for my lovely student nurse and I felt helpless at how much I want to achieve before Christmas Day.

Scripture

I give you a new commandment, that you love one another. Just as I have loved you, you also should love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”

John 13:34-35

Tuesday 19 December 2017

The 19th

Go peaceful
in gentleness
through the violence of these days.
Give freely.
Show tenderness
in all your ways.

Through darkness,
in troubled times
let holiness be your aim.
Seek wisdom.
Let faithfulness
burn like a flame.

God speed you!
God lead you,
and keep you wrapped around His heart!
May you be known by love.

Be righteous.
Speak truthfully
in a world of greed and lies.
Show kindness.
See everyone
through heaven’s eyes.

God hold you,
enfold you,
and keep you wrapped around His heart.
May you be known by love.

Paul Field

Kindness, compassion and gentleness; I can't think of three more attractive qualities in the people I enjoy to spend time with. We can never have enough of these things. What greater reputation could we have than to be known by love? Let Christmas ignite our compassion, our hospitality. Open our hearts and doors.

Today I found joy in my job, was thankful for my bed and felt helpless over the future of the NHS.

Scripture

Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

Monday 18 December 2017

The 18th

I will not die an unlived life,
I will not live in fear
of falling or catching fire.
I choose to inhabit my days,
to allow my living to open me,
to make me less afraid,
more accessible,
to loosen my heart
until it becomes a wing,
a torch, a promise…

Dawna Markova

What good is it that Christ was born in a stable in Bethlehem over 2,000 years ago if he is not also born in me? How is Christ to be born in me? You have only to be, like Mary, quiet, open-hearted and receptive to the Spirit at work within you. Say with her, “Here am I, the servant of the Lord; let it be with me according to your word.”

Br. David Vryhof

I pray that I can live a fearless life, because I know that I don't.
I pray to be receptive and open to the spirit, willing to follow It's lead. I pray I can do this without fear.
I'm a bit of a control freak so letting God take control is scary. I'm telling myself tjis week that it doesn't matter what I have and haven't done to prepare for Christmas; it'll happen either way and God will still be born amongst us.

Today I found joy in Star Wars, I was thankful for my parents and I felt hopeless about my preparations being on hold for the next 2 days whilst I'm in work

The 17th

We live in networks: either virtual communities like MySpace or Facebook, or television communities like Emmerdale and EastEnders. Sometimes they seem more real than the actual communities we inhabit. And along with sport, another way we get our sense of belonging today, they provide the common experiences that we talk about most. But we don’t necessarily know much about each other.
Indeed, the local church is one of the few places left where people of all shapes and sizes, ages and races (Spurs and Arsenal fans meeting in harmony!) gather together regularly. Shepherds and kings were invited to the stables at Bethlehem. Regardless of rank, race, class or caste you are invited today.

Stephen Cottrell

Yesterday evening was our annual Nine Lessons and Carols service at St Michaels, a beautiful service which intertwines the biblical story of man's relationship with God, prophecy alluding to the messiah and retelling the Christmas story with some cracking carols and beautiful choral pieces.

This was the first service I attended 16 years ago, my first taste of that church community. I can remember loving the hymns but being really uncomfortable with the Old Testament readings. My problem was I had no concept of scripture as allegory and poetry, of it being the story of God's relationship with a community rather than a presumed history.

We'll never know the true circumstances of Jesus' birth but to me the details are unimportant, what matters is incarnation, Jesus presence and action within that community; that's what we should be in our communities- present and active.

Today I found joy in our church community, I was thankful for a day off (from nursing- not vicaring!) and felt helpless about the folks who are struggling through the festive season.

Scripture

What good is it, my brothers and sisters, if you say you have faith but do not have works? Can faith save you? If a brother or sister is naked and lacks daily food, and one of you says to them, ‘Go in peace; keep warm and eat your fill’, and yet you do not supply their bodily needs, what is the good of that? So faith by itself, if it has no works, is dead.

James 2:14-17

Saturday 16 December 2017

The 16th

We must realize that when basic needs have been met, human development is primarily about being more, not having more.
The Earth Charter, Preamble

I think I might give up everything I have if it would allow me to become the best version of myself, to have a deep and sustainable sense of shalom.
When we hope for peace on earth I think what we really want is peace within ourselves, because if we are ourselves at peace I believe the need to fight and to acquire - people, land, possessions, would disappear.

Today I found joy in my children squabbling over making mug cakes, I was thankful for an event free day and I felt helpless over, as ever, running out of time.

Scripture

Let your gentleness be known to everyone. The Lord is near. Do not worry about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.

Philippians 4:5-6 

Friday 15 December 2017

The 15th

Be open to the night…

Pray with open hand, not with clenched fist…

Shapes loom out of the darkness, uncertain and unclear: but the hooded stranger on horseback emerging from the mist need not be assumed to be the bearer of ill…

The night is large and full of wonders…

Lord Dunsany

This is one of my favourite Northumbria Community meditations. The night is large and full of wonders- who knows what amazing thing is out there, unseen by us, waiting to be revealed If only we would be more open to it. It's in our nature to be afraid of the unseen and unknown, but this reminds us that not all those unseen things are bad.
We like our traditions when it comes to Christmas, we like the comfort of the familiar. Who knows what we might experience if we're more open to different experiences, traditions and cultures this year?

Today I found joy in wrapping Christmas presents, I was thankful for offers of oranges to make Christingles and I felt helpless about the relationship between some Christian groups and far right politics.

Scripture

When I look at your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars that you have established; what are human beings that you are mindful of them, mortals that you care for them?

Psalm 8:3-4

Thursday 14 December 2017

The 14th

From evolution and the lifecycle of stars to our own lives, transformation and change appear to happen through periods of loss, crisis, stress, and even death. Physicists today would say that loss of energy or matter is not real. There is only transformation. Think of the changes water goes through in its journey from cloud (vapor) to liquid (rain) or solid (ice) and back to vapor. What may look like loss or death is in fact a becoming.

Richard Rohr

This is a very brief extract from today's daily meditation posted by the Centre for Action and Contemplation.
I very much believe that our lives have cycles and seasons so this resonates deeply with me, and I also believe that it's the most difficult things we experience that lead to growth and transformation.
I think we sometimes use Christmas to paper over the bad stuff, or at least push it aside for a short time - and we all need respite from the tough stuff.
But it's also healthy to remember there's still tough stuff going on, for ourselves and others. The thing is you never know (when your going through something difficult) how it will change you, what you will learn or what a catalyst it'll be.

Today I found joy in getting home from work and being greeted by my dogs, I was thankful for getting some patients home before Christmas and I felt helpless over feeling stressed and letting it show.

Scripture

When he was at the table with them, he took bread, blessed and broke it, and gave it to them. Then their eyes were opened, and they recognized him

Luke 24:30-31a

Wednesday 13 December 2017

The 13th

You are the object of our journey.
You are the One who leads us onward.
You are the Light in the gloom.
You are the Forgiving One.
You are the Peace Giver.
You are the Accompanier.
You are the Incarnate One.
Come to guide us, to lead us

Little Book of Advent

Today I found joy in sharing a meal with friends, I was thankful that the snow hasn't been heavier where I am (after experiencing a little snow shower in Bolton) and I felt helpless over not having more time to give to chaplaincy work.

Scripture

All things came into being through him, and without him not one thing came into being.

John 1:3

Tuesday 12 December 2017

The 12th

Rejoice

“Your heart will rejoice,” Jesus promises us in John. “Your hearts will rejoice, and no one will take your joy from you.” So, how much joy do you have in your life? It is a gift and a promise. Maybe this Christmas you could ask God for the gift of joy. Rejoice, rejoice, Emmanuel has come to you.

Br. Geoffrey Tristram

Today I was not a good observer of Advent, I wasn't prayerfully preparing, I was full on celebrating! Our community choir gave us the most wonderful Christmas concert in church and then we all headed into the pub for sing-a-long beer and carols. And it was glorious. And joyful.
Ruth, our choir mistress, reminded us of the health benefits of singing and particularly of the endorphins released into our system, making us joyful. Communal singing is something particularly wonderful, the shared joy; the bond between us.
Christmas is a time for joyful song and particularly for singing together.

Today I found joy in singing! Was thankful for the power of music and felt helpless about making time for the stuff that matters.

Scripture

And can any of you by worrying add a single hour to your span of life? And why do you worry about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not clothed like one of these.

Matthew 6:27-29 

Monday 11 December 2017

The 11th

Have patience with everything unresolved in your heart,
and try to love the questions themselves
as if they were locked rooms
or books written in a very foreign language.

Do not search for the answers, which could not be given to you now,
because you would not be able to live them.
And the point is to live everything.
Live the questions now.
Perhaps then, someday far in the future,
you will gradually,
without even noticing it, live your way into the answer.

Rainer Maria Rilke

We can see so little. Life unfolds in stages. When we look at life, at the now, we should practice a posture of humility: we’re probably not seeing everything there is to see and understand. There’s always more.

Br. Curtis Almquist

In what ways this week are you being asked to wait?
#GodWithUs (Church of England)

These 3 things I came across today all seem to be linked in some way. I'm at a really unusual point in Advent where I'm almost ready for Christmas and I want to race ahead - I'm feeling an excitement which I haven't in years - but Advent is all about the wait and how it transforms and prepares us. Sometimes we have to inhabit the liminal spaces.

Today I found joy in my work, I was thankful for the crisp winter weather (seasons are important- even if we're freezing!) and I felt helpless over my own grumpiness towards the end of the day (and sweariness!)

Sunday 10 December 2017

The 10th

If you want your dream to be
Take your time, go slowly
Do few things but do them well
Heartfelt work grows purely
If you want to live life free
Take your, time go slowly
Do few things but do them well
Heartfelt work grows purely

Day by day, stone by stone
Build your secret slowly
Day by day, you’ll grow too
You’ll know heaven’s glory

If you want to live life free
Take your time go slowly
If you want your dream to be
Take your time, go slowly

‘Little Church’ (Donovan Leitch)

I think I used this Northumbria Community meditation (actually it's a song from Brother Sun Sister Moon, the Franco Zeffirelli film about St Francis) during Lent but it seems even more appropriate during Advent, which is more usually a time where we try to do way too many things and burn ourselves out. Do few things and do them well.

Today I found joy in leftover chilli, was thankful for my team at work and felt helpless about time getting away from me.

Scripture

No one after lighting a lamp puts it under the bushel basket, but on the lampstand, and it gives light to all in the house.

Matthew 5:15

Saturday 9 December 2017

The 9th

I am not here to pass judgement
or point the finger at anyone.
My name was written in the sand
as one who is forgiven.
Strengthened with hope, impervious to shame,
I will walk freely like the freshness
of the dry lands after rain.

Let light spill out of heaven
through my life,
dispelling mediocrity and silent blame.
Too many people, guilt-stricken, wounded,
walk in regret,
feeling bad about failing,
apologise even for breathing.

Raw belief, a passion for others
grows in me,
encircling each moment
with instinctive prayer.
I will carry the freshness
of the dry lands after rain.
Compassion lives in me again.

Andy Raine

I want compassion and passion for others to be my defining qualities. I want who I am on the inside to be shaped by my response to the world and people around me.
I think it would be really easy to resent people around me celebrating Christmas whilst I keep Advent, but I love the joy I see in people; I see God reflected in them. I've seen a trend amongst some religious people- to be very pompous about Advent, to have an air of superiority (ok, I may have been a bit that way myself at times) about not celebrating until Christmas Day, but in the words of Mr Emerson in Forster's A Room With a View "Do we find happiness so often that we should turn it off the box when it happens to sit there?"

Today I found joy in having a lie-in, was thankful for having a warm home and felt helpless about people feeling overwhelmed by Christmas.

Scripture

For surely I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans for your welfare and not for harm, to give you a future with hope. Then when you call upon me and come and pray to me, I will hear you.

Jeremiah 29:11-12

Friday 8 December 2017

The 8th

When a great moment knocks on the door of your life,
it is often no louder than the beating of your heart,
and it is very easy to miss it.

Boris Pasternak

Our lives are so noisy, full and busy that I worry we miss the small, important things. I'm a great believer in small things; extraordinary ordinariness. If I take Advent as a time of preparation and anticipation it just might be easier to tune out some of the noise and tune into something important I might be missing that's right in front of me.

Today I found joy in catching up with a good friend, I am thankful for art and creative pursuits and I feel helpless about how ill prepared our government appears regarding Brexit.

Scripture

You will show me the path of life;
in your presence is the fullness of joy 
and in your right hand are pleasures for evermore.
Psalm 16:10

Thursday 7 December 2017

The 7th

Give me freedom to grow, so that I may become that self, the seed of which You planted in me at my making.

George Appleton

Advent and Christmas are times we can get so caught up in what we think we should be doing, who we should be and who we're projecting ourselves as. I want to spend time asking who I am, not who do I want to be or do I think I should be.
As a priest I'm often surrounded by people that I feel are far more able, gifted or holy than me. I have to remind myself that God called me to be myself, to bring my gifts and abilities in loving service to the world around me.

Today I found joy in the company of Huw, my parish priest, I was thankful for my ridiculously awesome kids and I felt helpless that my husband didn't get a job he wanted.

Scripture

When you search for me, you will find me; if you seek me with all your heart, Call to me and I will answer you, and will tell you great and hidden things that you have not known.
Jeremiah 29:13; 33:3

The 6th

When I stop at the cross
I can see the love of God.

But I can’t see competition.
I can’t see hierarchy.
I can’t see pride or prejudice
or the abuse of authority.
I can’t see lust for power.
I can’t see manipulation.
I can’t see rage or anger
or selfish ambition.

I can’t see unforgiveness.
I can’t see hate or envy.
I can’t see stupid fighting
or bitterness, or jealousy.
I can’t see empire building.
I can’t see self-importance.
I can’t see back-stabbing
or vanity or arrogance.

I see surrender, sacrifice, salvation,
humility, righteousness, faithfulness, grace, forgiveness, love!

Godfrey Birtill

I love today's meditation; it reminds me of all the things I should reject and by those things I reject shows what and who I am striving to be. If we strive to embody love, to reflect it in all we do, these are the things we must actively turn from.

Scripture
Strengthen the weary hands, and make firm the feeble knees. Say to the anxious, ‘Be strong, fear not.
Isaiah 35:3-4a

Wednesday 6 December 2017

The 5th

God’s endless love contradicts the world and upsets all its pretentious meanings. The world seeks glory, honor, pleasure, pride, freedom from suffering, greed, hatred, resentment...But the God-Man chose utter poverty, insults, torment, ridicule, hunger, and thirst.

Catherine of Siena

I've made a conscious effort to move away from the more commercial side of Christmas to concentrate on keeping it simple; focusing on family, community (church, work and local) and simple pleasures. Finding joy in the small things has made me more content.

Today I found joy in sharing a meal with my family, I was thankful for my husband doing a few small jobs I'd asked him to (it means his mental health is good) and I felt helpless about night shifts cutting short the time I have with my children.

Scripture
By the tender mercy of our God,
    the dawn from on high will break uponaus,
to give light to those who sit in darkness and in the shadow of death,
    to guide our feet into the way of peace.
Luke 1:78-79

Monday 4 December 2017

The 4th

This is an extract from today's daily meditation from Richard Rohr:

James Finley learned from [Thomas] Merton while living at the Abbey of Gethsemani from 1961-1967. He reflects that Merton believed the world could not survive if religion remained at the clannish level. This false competition doesn’t serve anyone. On the other hand, openness to other traditions can and should deepen our commitment to our own faith and practice. This is one of the primary fruits of obeying Jesus’ simple command to “love our neighbor.” I presume loving others means listening to them and respecting them as brothers and sisters.

The only way we can learn is through an open mind and listening to others. It's fascinating that so many other faiths and traditions have winter festivals- what similarities are there? What's different? I love hearing not only about other people's Christmas traditions but the traditions of other faiths and cultures.
There should always be time for looking outwards at Christmas, assessing the bigger picture, connecting with people, thinking outside of our smaller communities to the bigger things we're a part of. I'm lucky that Manchester is such a diverse city, it's an amazing place to experience. I also work in an incredibly diverse environment with people from all over the world.

Today I felt joyful talking to an old friend, am thankful for my children's health and felt helpless not being able to give my patients the answers they want.

Scripture
I delight to do your will, O my God; your law is within my heart.’
Psalm 40:8

Sunday 3 December 2017

The 3rd

We have to be candles, burning between hope and despair,
faith and doubt, life and death,
all the opposites.

(William Brodrick)

This is part of today's reflection from The Northumbria Community. The reflections are cyclical so I'm pretty familiar with many of them and this is the section of today's which always stands out for me.
It emphasises for me that life is not dualistic; whilst it lists opposites I believe it means we are forever in motion on the spectrum between the opposites. We are never fully one thing or another. There's also the challenge to be a candle on this spectrum- to both draw people to us and to illuminate.

This is really helpful I think when experiencing advent in our mostly secular country. We're both trying to prayerfully and patiently wait and prepare for Christmas day, and yet we're also caught up in many of the celebrations around us - this doesn't mean we aren't getting spiritually prepared too.

Today I found joy in leading our monthly family service, I was thankful that I'm entering Advent much more at peace than in previous years and I felt helpless over not getting enough sleep.

Scripture:
But I trust in you, O Lord; I say, ‘You are my God.’ Psalm 31:14

Saturday 2 December 2017

The 2nd

My daughter often tells me she hates silence. I love it. If I had a magic button that could do one thing (I was asked this question in a Facebook group this week) it would cause silence to fall instantly. We need to learn to find space for silence, to not find it scary but comforting; to know it's a place where we can uncover marvellous truths.

Today I found joy in sharing cappuccinos with my family, I was thankful for all four of us being together for the whole weekend and I felt helpless at knowing the busyness of life will return and be unrelenting when I return to work on Monday.

Today’s Meditation:

If I chose to hide you away, it is for a reason.
I have brought you to this place.
Drink in the silence. Seek solitude.

Listen to the silence.

It will teach you. It will build strength
Let others share it with you.
It is little to be found elsewhere.

Silence will speak more to you in a day than the world of voices can teach you in a lifetime.
Find silence. Find solitude – and having discovered her riches, bind her to your heart.

Frances J. Roberts

Scripture:

Every generous act of giving, with every perfect gift, is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.
- James 1:17

Friday 1 December 2017

The 1st

It's that time of year again where I try to blog each day. I do this for Lent and Advent as it helps me to focus each day on the spiritual preparation that leads up to Easter and Christmas.

I had all sorts of ideas of what I might do for Advent but as the simplest idea is usually the most achievable I'm using Mary Fleeson's Advent prayers and the daily readings and meditations from The Northumbria Community, probably with a bit of Richard Rohr thrown in! Ok, that sounds more complicated than it is.

The prayer card suggests that each day you write down something that makes you joyful, something which you're thankful for and something which you feel helpless about. Whatever your belief system this is a useful way to evaluate and reflect upon your day.

I've been off work all this week to try and prepare myself (both physically by sorting out stuff at home, and mentally by finding some head space) for Advent. For the rest of the world Christmas has already begun, but in my tradition of the Anglican faith, and especially for myself as a priest, it's a time (like Lent) of spiritual preparation, patience, anticipation and waiting.

Four years ago on Advent Sunday I preached my first sermon, all about the anticipation of Advent. It's a difficult balance to find between wanting to celebrate - to immerse myself in the festivities around me - and to keep it as a time of preparation. Chronicling all this in the blog helps me to hold that tension and keep that balance.

Today: I found joy in laughing with my family at the cinema (Paddington 2 - pure distilled joy), I am thankful that I was able to take leave from work this week and I feel helpless about certain unstable world political situations.

Reflection:
Hurry is an unpleasant thing in itself, but also very unpleasant for whoever is around it. Some people came into my room and rushed in and rushed out and even when they were there they were not there – they were in the moment ahead or the moment behind. Some people who came in just for a moment were all there, completely in that moment.

Live from day to day, just from day to day. If you do so, you worry less and live more richly. If you let yourself be absorbed completely, if you surrender completely to the moments as they pass, you live more richly those moments.

Anne Morrow Lindbergh

Scripture:
The only thing that matters is faith expressing itself in love. — Galatians 5:6