Day 9

Faithful friends are a well-built shelter;
when you find one, you find a treasure.
Faithful friends are priceless;
their value is beyond counting.
Faithful friends are the essence of life,
a blessing for those who fear Yahweh.
Those who fear Yahweh treat others with respect;
and their friends will behave the same way.

Sirach 6:14
(Sirach was written by a Jewish scribe who lived in Jerusalem in the early third century BC. His name was Jesus, son of Eleazar, son of Sirach. He is often called simply "Ben Sira.")

A suggestion for your prayer and meditation:

"A primary activity in spiritual direction is simply listening, being a sounding board on whom others can try out ideas, oprinions, or self-criticism...This is almost a natural response to deep friendship. By making such friendship spiritual by a specific agreement of both parties, you will truly find "a treasure beyond price and a life-saving remedy". (Father William A. Meninger from The Committed Life).

Read the passage from Sirach slowly, pausing a few seconds at the end of each line.
Take a moment today and consider who among those you know might be your faithful friend.
Email or call that friend and ask if they might act as a spiritual director if even for just this one time.
Consider an idea, opinion or self-criticism that you might express to your friend and ask for their feedback.
Acknowledge their feedback refraining from the urge to agree or disagree.
Offer your response to this feedback in prayer perhaps using the statement "Creator God, pour forth your Wisdom on me and grant me insight and understanding, amen."
Pastor Patty Fox 40 days with 40 Christian mystics

I couldn't get through any aspect of my life without my friends; they are the most precious gift from God. My closest friend, Lindsay has been on my life for 34 years and knows me better than anyone- there's no way I could be anything but myself with her. I trust her honesty and counsel and she makes me laugh my bum off!
This weekend I have the utter privilege of spending in the company of two much newer friends, Tracy and Alison, who I met through training for ministry. The three and a half years we've spent together have been some of the toughest we've each experienced, but our friendship has kept us strong through it all. We're completely honest with each other, yet hold one another with such love and respect (well...mostly, we do tend to tease  Alison). Most importantly we laugh together. There's no facade, no barriers. Like when we're before God there can be no pretence or inauthenticity.

Advent word - befriend

Totally out of sync with working nights shifts!
Working full time, having kids and being a minister means my friendships suffer. I feel it particularly at this time of year when being a nurse and involved in church make me particularly unsociable. What matters then is to be a friend to the people I'm with- those missing families, those with no choice but to be in or at the hospital and those in my church who are alone or lonely. It's part of our humanity to acknowledge the basic need for friendship in each other.

On my journey of faith, Mary has become a kind of friend, and our shared experience of Jesus has become a sacred communion. He invites me into her presence with contagious joy. She points me to him with fresh insight and renewed simplicity.

-Br. Keith Nelson

Act 16 - Adopt

Three brilliant things about my life:
Working for the NHS
Being part of a church
Training for ministry
What all these things have in common is they've resulted in me developing deep and lasting friendships with people of all ages, experiences, cultures, genders and more. I am so lucky to have such diverse friends who enrich my life immeasurably. Their presence in my life has helped inform the person I am. The more diverse the people I spend my time with, the wider my own experiences are. Difference and diversity are to be celebrated and embraced.

On the ninth day of Christmas...

...I hung out with friends

Christmas has been a crazy mix of work, church and family that there's been very little time for friends. Tonight some of our friends came round with their children and we ate, drank, laughed and made merry. Tonight I thank God that I am blessed with true friendship.

Care For Your Friends More

It's that point during Lent when I get to reflect upon what a bad friend I am- at least physically. I think about my friends everyday and I try to keep in touch with them electronically, but the realities of work, family and training make is difficult to spend actual time with them. When it comes to sending birthday cards on time I'm a total failure! But I am thinking of them, I'm praying for them, and I'm looking forward to a time when things are a bit less hectic and we can spend more actual time together.

Be More Friendly

I'll admit I don't feel that friendly right now! It's been a long and difficult day but I've tried to stay amiable despite everything.
I meet new people everyday at work- patients, relatives, visitors, colleagues from other areas or departments and if I'm having a bad day it's not their fault. I try to be as friendly and helpful as I can, even if inside I could scream!

Leviticus 19.18

You shall not take vengeance or bear a grudge against any of your people, but you shall love your neighbour as yourself: I am the Lord.

One Year On

I've not blogged since Easter. Every time I think about it something else pops up and there doesn't seem to be time. I thought that over the summer I might find time to write but changes at work and a modicum of upheaval at home have meant summer has not been what I expected.
This time last year I was fretting over not finding time to complete the pre-course work book I'd been given. Now I'm fretting over the 3000 word assignment due in 5 weeks...and yet...so far, so okay.
I've officially completed my first year of ordination training- 1/3 of the way there. I've not failed anything, I've met every deadline but more importantly I feel as if I'm being formed into something.
So much has happened, I've learned so much (a stark reminder of how much I still don't know) and, perhaps most significantly, met an amazing group of people. When I think about the last 12 months my first thoughts are about people. There's the wider group of people; the Manchester readers and ordinands who meet on Thursday evenings at Luther King House and the 3 year groups of ordinands who meet for residential weekends. Then there's the smaller group, our little group of first years- although I guess we're penultimate years now! Just 8 of us to begin with, we grew to 9 after Christmas and now we're a 18! Over the months we've bonded and learned to trust each other, sharing in something so unique together.
In July we were all at Summer School, 7 days living together in community; sharing meals, worship and a classroom. It was a fantastic opportunity to get to know some of those in the year above, and meet new people on 1 or 2 year pathways.
At times it's been intense, especially at Christmas and Easter- intensely busy times in the secular world married together with the busiest times in family life and church life, now with the added joy of essays!! Yet...there's been no major meltdown and I don't think I've had more than a passing sniffle in almost 12 months.
Sometimes I feel like I'm looking at the world through new eyes, more keenly aware of myself and my actions, the joys in life and the struggles of others. I'm especially aware of how little I can do in terms of big changes needed in the world,  so am settling for the small ones. Kindness, fairness, compassion, justice, being an advocate when needed.
Yet...most of the time I'm still just...me. Sweary, easily distracted, irritatingly whimsical, a bit daft, unsure of myself and unsure how on earth I ended up training to be a priest. Maybe we need unholy, uneducated, whimsical priests with a short attention span. I'm sure God knows what he's doing.

Care for your friends more

There is much more to a good friendship than remembering birthdays...I hope...because if that's how these things are measured I'm pretty appalling. Well, it's not necessarily remembering that's the issue, it's doing something about it. I'm rubbish- especially where using the postal service is concerned. The procurement of stamps and visiting post boxes seem beyond me- so praise be for Moonpig, Getting Personal and other such companies who help me with this terrible affliction.
Despite my best efforts I had misplaced a couple of birthdays along the way so I took the opportunity to correct this today, sending a card for a missed birthday last week (sorry Al!) and finally remembering to give another friend a pressie from her February birthday (sorry Lorna!)
I'm doubt I'll ever get much better at this, but I do love you all despite my forgetfulness/lack of organisation.  Forgive me..?

'Tis the season to be jolly!

Today was all about celebrating friendship.
A well earned day off- and time to spend with the kids at last- so we headed off for tea and cake this morning with good friends. This afternoon some other friends popped round for a cuppa and their son (our boy's BFF) has stayed for tea and a sleepover.
Having people in your life who you choose to have there and spend time with, simply because they are a delight to your heart, is a blessing indeed.

Keep in Touch

Today's task was the first one that I didn't really manage, mostly due to circumstances- mainly the fact that I was in work from 7.30am to 9pm.
The task was to phone someone you love but haven't spoken to for a while, but being able to do that in a work environment was rather difficult.
I feel really disappointed that this was today's task, and that I failed, because it's something I have ridiculous amounts of guilt over.
Mike did manage it though- he phoned one of our friends who even though they live close we've not seen for a while and I think it did them both good.
I'm hoping I'll be able to do today's task tomorrow!

Be More Friendly

Today we had to be friendly to someone new- not the easiest task on a day when what I do and who I see is so structured.
To start with I was very friendly to the slightly abrupt lady at the garden centre where we went for breakfast (breakfast date!) At work I tried to make a special effort to be friendly to everyone but especially the students, new doctor and new patient. I managed to talk to a consultant without using even veiled sarcasm- quite a feat!
The kids made an effort to play with someone who maybe they wouldn't usually.
I'm a bit excited about tomorrow's task, but that's for tomorrow's blog.

Leviticus 19:18
Love your neighbour as yourself

I'm sorry!

So after the marvellous pancake parties yesterday (the Jenklets celebrated at home with Nana) we are brought down to more solemn activities today as we are asked to "say sorry".
For the kids I've given them each a post-it note and told them to write down something they're sorry they did to each other recently. For myself attending the Ash Wednesday communion service with Ashing gives the opportunity to focus on the ways in which I feel I can be a better person, the things I've done that I wish I hadn't and to say sorry.
Writing this blog also gives me a chance to say sorry- being to caught up in daily life, work, kids and church there rarely seems to be an opportunity to stop, to spend time with friends, to truly listen to them and realise the ways in which they may be hurting, broken or in need.
So to my friends- I love you and I wish I saw you more. Maybe this year I'll be a bit less rubbish!

Psalm 51:10
Create in me a clean heart O God

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