Easter Day

God of little buds just now wearing green sleeves,
God of lilac limbs all full with signs of flowering,
God of fields plowed and black with turned-over earth,
God of screeching baby bird mouths widely awaiting food,

God of openness, of life and of resurrection,
Come into this Easter season and bless me.
Look around the tight, dead spaces of my heart
That still refuse to give you an entrance.

Bring your gentle but firm love.
Begin to lift the layers of resistance
That hang on tightly deep inside of me.

Open, one by one, those places in my life
Where I refuse to be overcome by surprise.
Open, one by one, those parts of my heart
Where I fight the entrance of real growth.
Open, one by one, those aspects of my spirit
Where my security struggles with the truth.

Keep me open to the different and the strange;
Help me to accept the unusual and also the ordinary;
Never allow me to tread on others' dreams
By shutting them out, closing them up,
By turning them off or pushing them away.

God of the Resurrection, God of the living,
Untomb and uncover all that needs to live in me.
Take me to people, events, and situations
And stretch me into much greater openness.

Open me.  Open me.  Open me.
For it is only then that i will grow and change.
For it is only then that I will be transformed.
For it is only then that i will know how it is
To be in the moment of rising from the dead.

(taken from may i have this dance; An Invitation to Faithful Prayer Throughout the Year by Joyce Rupp)

A suggestion for your prayer and meditation:

REJOICE, for Christ is RISEN!!!

Pastor Patty Fox 40 Days with 40 Christian Mystics

I hope that something within me has grown and changed and been transformed during these 40 days. My hope was to work on my spirituality and develop my prayer life. It's certainly given me a desire to delve deeper into mysticism, which I find resonates deeply with me.
I hope those of you who have read my posts have found some value in them and I thank Pastor Patty for originally taking this journey and blogging it so I could retread her path. 
As the prayers and meditations of the Northumbria Community have also been incredibly important over the last 6 weeks I leave you with their Morning Prayer blessing:

May the peace of the Lord Christ go with you,
wherever He may send you.
May He guide you through the wilderness,
protect you through the storm.
May He bring you home rejoicing
at the wonders He has shown you.
May He bring you home rejoicing
once again into our doors.

Day 40

One of my favourite meditations from the Northumbria Community came around again today:

Be open to the night…

Pray with open hand, not with clenched fist…

Shapes loom out of the darkness, uncertain and unclear: but the hooded stranger on horseback emerging from the mist need not be assumed to be the bearer of ill…

The night is large and full of wonders…

(Lord Dunsany)

Holy Saturday may be a day of darkness, of unknowing, but there are wonders - treasures - to be found in darkness. Pray with an open hand, not with a clenched fist. We're nearly there.

Day 39

Lent Day 39:

...Christian faith speaks about the paschal mystery, about Jesus Christ's death and resurrection as the first fruit of an inclusive harvest, about new unimaginable like breaking out through death itself and as a corrective to death.

Although for a time there was no glimmer of hope, God was near at hand, nevertheless, and Jesus was not ultimately abandoned.  The victory arrives through the living communion of love, overcoming evil from within.

To say this is not to rationalize suffering or to find a solution to the problem of evil or to offer cheap consolation.  The cross and resurrection scandalize and cannot be reconciled theoretically.

Rather, this event deepens the mystery of how God's solidarity with the suffering world brings about a future even for the most godforsaken.  It points to the real mystery of the trinitarian God as an ally against suffering and moves the community to the practice of love that corresponds to this mystery.

(from She Who Is: The Mystery of God in Feminist Theological Discourse by Elizabeth A. Johnson)

A suggestion for your prayer and meditation:

May all beings be free of suffering,
May all beings be at peace,
May all beings experience life breaking out,
May all beings be one with God.
Amen.
Pastor Patty Fox 40 Days with 40 Christian Mystics

Good Friday is a day dedicated to embracing the sadness, to dwelling with it, exploring it, accepting it. This is pretty counter-cultural as our society is perhaps more inclined to turn from sadness where possible; yet here we acknowledge our pain, name it and take ownership of it.

Day 38

While they were eating, Jesus took bread, and when he had given thanks, he broke it and gave it to his disciples, saying,“Take and eat; this is my body.” Then he took a cup, and when he had given thanks, he gave it to them, saying, “Drink from it, all of you. This is my blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins. I tell you, I will not drink from this fruit of the vine from now on until that day when I drink it new with you in my Father’s kingdom.” When they had sung a hymn, they went out to the Mount of Olives.  Matthew 26:26-30

Eucharist is recognition. It is the full realization that the one who takes, blesses, breaks, and gives is the One who, from the beginning of time, has desired to enter into communion with us. Communion is what God wants and what we want. It is the deepest cry of God's and our heart, because we are made with a heart that can be satisfied only by the one who made it.

God creates in our heart a yearning for communion that no one but God can, and wants, to fulfill. God knows this. We seldom do.

We keep looking somewhere else for that experience of belonging.
We look at the splendor of nature, the excitement of history, and the attractiveness of people, but that simple breaking of the bread, so ordinary and unspectacular, seems such an unlikely place to find the communion for which we yearn.

Still, if we have mourned our losses, listened to him on the road, and invited him into our innermost being, we will know that the communion we have been waiting to receive is the same communion he has been waiting to give.

from With Burning Hearts by Henri J.M. Nouwen

A suggestion for your prayer and meditation:
When do you yearn for communion/belonging? 

How do you attempt to satisfy that yearning?

What does it mean to you that no one but God can, and wants, to fulfill your yearning?

Meditate on these words of St. Augustine:  "My soul is restless until it rests in you, O God."
Pastor Patty Fox 40 Days with 40 Christian Mystics

How can I possibly add anything to Henri Nouwen? All I will say is that for me Eucharist is about community and equality. It's about meeting Jesus by sharing with each other, recognising our oneness and being filled up to be sent out. Eucharist is about what we do with our faith, our lives outside of those church  walls.

Day 37

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and the daughters of Life's
longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And thought they are with you
yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit,
not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.

from The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran
Maronite Christianity, an ancient sect, emerged in the fifth century when the early Christians of Syria pledged their allegiance to a hermit, Marun, whose gifts and virtues brought him many disciples. Using a ritual alive with the Aramaic tongue of Jesus and a liturgy that is among the oldest and most moving in the Christian Church, the Maronites were able to protect their traditions due to the physical remoteness of the mountain region [of Lebanon]. The spiritual nature of Gibran's mother and the impressions that the child received from the mystical ceremonies of the Maronites remained with him all his life (The New York Times).

A suggestion for your prayer and meditation:

Use this poem by Kahlil Gibran as a prayer throughout the day.  It is often easier to remember a long text like this if it is set to music.  An African-American a capella group called Sweet Honey in the Rock has recorded this poem under the title "On Children".  It's a great way to meditate. 
Pastor Patty Fox 40 Days with 40 Christian Mystics

Oddly enough I had a conversation with my daughter earlier about something Rob Bell had said in his latest podcast. The comment was (paraphrasing) that our children are not empty buckets for us to fill up with our unrealized dreams and anxieties.
Our children are not ours, they are their own and we should let them become themselves, not try to recreaye or make better versions of ourselves.
I've always encouraged by children's uniqueness, whilst trying to foster a spirit of our community life within them. I must admit I've never had much interest in trying to get them to confirm or fit in.
My daughter is 13 now  and has a really well-developed sense of self. She's unique and quirky- and happy to be so, and yet she understands that her place in the world is part of something much bigger than her own unique self.
My son is a little younger at 10. We get complimented a lot of what a lovely boy he is, and we're both amazed that he's so cute and sweet. We often joke that we don't know how he turned out so well, but I guess letting him be himself is a big part if it.
We've never felt the need to confirm to gender stereotypes or push either into any sort if mould. It's by chance that she's artistic and he likes nerf and gaming (actually so does she).
They belong not to us, but God I'm so lucky to be walking alongside them.

Day 36

Chag Sameach!  Joyous Festival!  Happy Passover!

My father was a wandering Aramean,
and he went down into Egypt,
and he lived there as a small people,
and he became a great, powerful and numerous nation.
And the Egyptians treated us badly 
and afflicted us
and subjected us to hard labor.
And we cried out to the Lord,
God of our ancestors,
and the Lord heard our voice
and saw our affliction
and our toil
and our oppression.
And the Lord brought us out of Egypt
with a strong hand
and with an outstretched arm
and with great terror
and with signs
and with wonders (Deut. 26:5-8)

A suggestion for your prayer and meditation:

Tradition dictates that this passage serve as the focus of midrash - an extended discussion about the meaning of the story and its relevance to our lives.  Recite the passage and consider how you understand the story of the Exodus and where you might find yourself in this story.

(taken from Gould Farm Passover Hagada)
Pastor Patty Fox 40 Days with 40 Christian Mystics

For me this is part of a story, part of a heritage, part of the ongoing relationship between a people and their God. The ongoing retelling of the narrative at each Passover celebration reminds of our own Anglican retelling of the Last Supper in each Eucharistic prayer. There's something about the importance of remembrance and repetition as a collective and communal act.

"This day shall be a day of remembrance for you. You shall celebrate it as a festival to the Lord; throughout your generations you shall observe it as a perpetual ordinance" (Exodus 12:14)

"Do this in remembrance of me" (Luke 22:19)

Day 35

Pastor Patty gets a rest again this evening as she combines days 34 & 35. Below is a Monday of Holy Week Meditation, based upon John 12:1-11, taken from Mary and Martha; Jesus’ family of choice, a chapter in Alice Connor’s Fierce. Alice Connor is an Episcopal priest and college chaplain in Cincinnati. The aim of her book is to reclaim and retell the stories of biblical woman in a way which helps us to identify our own lives in theirs, seeing them as more than players in the men’s stories.

I used the chapter this evening (the wording in one or two places is altered very slightly to fit our context) at an intimate service where prayers were offered for wholeness and healing, and each of us was anointed with the newly blessed oil from this morning's Chrism service at Manchester cathedral. This service is held each Holy week. Oils are blessed for anointing the sick, baptism and confirmation, and ministers renew their vows. 

Mary and Martha were, in my mind, Jesus’ chosen family. When he wanted rest, he went to their hometown, Bethany. When their brother died, Jesus wept- one of only two places in scripture that happens. Jesus had his own family of course- his folks, Mary and Joseph, and his brothers and sisters (it’s true)- but he also had the family he’s chosen. Marginalised people know this concept well: the people you choose to give your heart to, not just the ones you were born with. Some people even say it was Lazarus who was Jesus’ Beloved Disciple.

There are three stories about this little family and their experience of Jesus. It’s hard to synthesise a single theme from them; each says something different. The stories are about gradual spiritual awakening, maybe. They’re definitely about family life.

Tonight, we heard the third story; a story about preparation. It’s the one everyone thinks is about Mary Magdalene (it’s not) and a harlot coming to the faith (again, it’s not). All four gospels have a version of the story, and all of them are about preparation for Jesus’ death. See, Jesus had come back to Bethany one last time to prepare for his looming death and was eating dinner at the family table. Mary and Martha and Lazarus were all there, eating and drinking and enjoying each other’s presence.

Mary, who had a more contemplative air than the other two, got up from the table and returned with a fancy jar of perfumed oil- nard, actually, from the spikenard plant, very expensive. And it looked to be an entire pound of the stuff. It would have cost a fortune. She opened the jar, and immediately the spicy scent filled the whole house. It was intoxicating to breathe it in, like the fumes of a good bourbon or fresh coffee beans, only more so. She poured handfuls of the slippery oil on Jesus’ feet and wiped them with her hair. This is where some folks have said she was clearly a harlot because only a sexually sinful woman would have her hair down and perform such an intimate act with it. Only that’s not the point the Gospel of John is making. Mary was foreshadowing Jesus’ washing his disciples’ feet at his last supper. Mary was preparing Jesus for his burial. She saw, somehow, that his end was near, so she showed him her extravagant love while he was still alive. Beautiful and heart-breaking.

This is Jesus’ family of choice. These people refill him when he has poured himself out for the crowds, the people who demand he see their loss and their grief, the people who walk with him as he walks to his own death- these are the people Jesus chose to be his family.

Two women and their brother provided a space of rest for him, a space of refilling, like when he’d go off by himself to pray but with home-cooked meals. This family in Bethany you wouldn’t have expected in first-century Israel- women running a household, making extravagant choices- he gave them a deeper, more divine relationship with God simply by being present with them, and a kind of consecration of their daily lives. Mary and Martha and Lazarus gave him- reminded him of, maybe- an awareness of God’s presence. Yes, I know he’s God, but also he’s human, and I imagine all the preaching and healing and pushing back against authority gave him one hell of a headache.

Jesus feels our own headaches now from dealing with the world. He understands how LGBTQ folks form new families around themselves because their families of origin cannot find the grace to love them. He understands how kids who survived the foster system create new families so they won’t be alone. Jesus understands choosing family outside of the ones who birthed us. My family is both. I choose the people who made me because they’re amazing and I’m constantly aware of what a gift that is. I choose the people who choose me- my church, my friends, my colleagues. And Mary and Martha chose Jesus to be in their family.

The feeling of rightness, of belonging, of family, is Jesus showing up in our lives.

Depiction of John 12:1-11 is stained glass at St Michael's Flixton

Day 34

Holy Creator,
thank you for artists:
visual, verbal,
musical, kinesthetic,
spiritual.

Holy Creator,
thank you for artists
who express our impressions,
our feelings, and our hopes.

Your gospel is found
not only in scripture,
but in the stroke of a brush
or of a pen,
in melody and harmony and dissonance,
within dance and movement,
within prayer.

Bless the prophecy of artists
who charm and chide,
critique and cajole,
who prompt tears, laughter,
peace, and passion.

Within their creative process
may we recognize
the divine in all creation
and be moved to awe
and wonder and worship.

Receive all art, O Divine Creator,
as acts of prayer,
a reflection and response
of creation.
And, as the disciples requested,
continue to "teach us to pray".
Amen.

(from Coming Out to God by Chris Glaser)

A suggestion for your prayer and meditation:

Take paper and crayons or paint or pencils and create an image of what you think God looks like.  It can be a form of some kind, or simply colors; whatever strikes you as representing the Holy.  Use this "hands-on" practice as a form of prayer as you welcome and honor the presence of God.
Pastor Patty Fox 40 Days with 40 Christian Mystics

I haven't been able to create my own picture of God, and in all honesty I wouldn't even know where to begin. All I can think of is Matisse's painting of an embrace.

Day 33

Deep within us all there is an amazing inner sanctuary of the soul, 
a holy place, a Divine Center, 
a speaking Voice, to which we may continuously return.  
Eternity is at our hearts, 
pressing upon our time-torn lives, 
warming us with intimations of an astounding destiny, 
calling us home unto Itself.  
Yielding to these persuasions, 
gladly committing ourselves in body and soul, 
utterly and completely, to the Light Within, 
is the beginning of true life.

(from A Testament of Devotion by Thomas R. Kelly (1893-1941) a Quaker missionary, educator, speaker, writer, and scholar)

A suggestion for your prayer and meditation:

Thomas Kelly was the first mystic I ever read.  I was introduced to him by the first female clergy I had ever met, the Rev. Pansie Evers.  The combination of these two things - an introduction to Christian mysticism and an introduction to the possibility that I too could serve God as a pastor - were life changing.  I think this is always true of the Christ Light Within; it changes us.  Whether we are awakened to it through the writings of others or through the life witness of people we are blessed to know, or through the beauty of the world around us; the Christ Light is in us waiting to warm and guide us.

How does the Light of God present Itself to you?

Where might you find it shining today?
Pastor Patty Fox 40 Days with 40 Christian Mystics

The light of God presents itself to me in my work; through people, interactions, experiences. It shines through acts of love, acts of inclusion and every time someone is invited to join in rather than being given the reasons they don't belong. The light of God shines from within us each time we remember we are loved and recognise that God calls us just as we are; unique, flawed, quirky and wonderful.

Day 32

When I look at the blood
all I see is love, love, love.
When I stop at the cross
I can see the love of God.

But I can’t see competition.
I can’t see hierarchy.
I can’t see pride or prejudice
or the abuse of authority.
I can’t see lust for power.
I can’t see manipulation.
I can’t see rage or anger
or selfish ambition.

I can’t see unforgiveness.
I can’t see hate or envy.
I can’t see stupid fighting
or bitterness, or jealousy.
I can’t see empire building.
I can’t see self-importance.
I can’t see back-stabbing
or vanity or arrogance.

I see surrender, sacrifice, salvation,
humility, righteousness, faithfulness, grace, forgiveness,
love! Love … love…

When I stop! … at the cross
I can see the love of God.

(Godfrey Birtill)

Pastor Patty combined days 32 and 33 so today I'm meditating upon the Northumbria Communities meditation for the day. The meditation speaks of things that can destroy us as individuals but also things that can eat away at communities and churches. None of those things are contained within God's love but they are within creation. We must acknowledge that. It's only by facing up to something  that we can learn to overcome it.

Day 31

A Consideration of Biblical Views of Atonement

For the last five years during Lent I have led a discussion at RCHP on Biblical Views of Atonement. There is nothing more mystical than the death and resurrection of Jesus.  My suggestion for your prayer and meditation today is simply to consider what Atonement means to you. 
Pastor Patty Fox 40 Days with 40 Christian Mystics (pastor Patty's slide show from her discussion in here)

Ok...I can't really give atonement It's full consideration in a 2 minute blog reflection, and I don't think it's necessarily the sort of thing the people who read my blog would want to read! I wrote one of my longest assignments (during theological training) on atonement and my one conclusion was no one theory gives an adequate explanation - but then do any theologies or doctrines? One thing I love about mystical Christianity is the full acceptance of holy mystery without needing to explain or understand everything. I know no absolutes in my belief other than God's eternal and unfailing love.

Day 30

This beautiful piece titled "Contemplation: Dog Art Painting" was created by Sharon Cummings and can be purchased at http://fineartamerica.com/ as well as redbubble.com

A suggestion for your prayer and meditation:

Find a tree. Sit and stay.
Pastor Patty Fox 40 Days with 40 Christian Mystics

I've tried to add a photo of the tree I spend a lot of my time staring at but the blogger app does not approve of photos at the moment.
I have a bit of a tree obsession. They make me feel calm and yet in awe. They're beautiful. Pretty much the most relatable thing I've read is the Pete Seeger quote:
"Every time I'm in the woods, i feel like I'm in church". Amen.

Day 29

Meditation is not merely the intellectual effort to master certain ideas about God, or even to impress upon our minds the mysteries of the Christian faith.  Conceptual knowledge of religious truth has an important place in our lives.  The spiritual life needs strong intellectual foundations, and reading theology helps us understand faith experience.  But meditation itself is neither study nor intellectual activity as such.  Its purpose is not to acquire or to deepen our speculative knowledge of God or of revelation.  Rather than seeking to know about God, we are seeking to know God directly, beyond all the objects which God has made.  We are seeking to experience God's presence with the awareness of loving faith.

A suggestion for your prayer and meditation:

Seek out a quiet place.  Find a comfortable, upright position in which you are relaxed but alert, with your eyes lightly closed.  Remain as still as possible.

Silently, begin to say interiorly a single word or phrase selected from the context of Christian faith.  Listen to it as you say it gently but continuously with faith and love.  Do not think or imagine anything, spiritual or otherwise.  If thoughts and images come and your attention strays, as soon as you become aware of this, return to saying your word.

(all of the above is taken from Prayer of Heart and Body by Father Thomas Ryan)
Pastor Patty Fox 40 Days with 40 Christian Mystics

I worry that the way we live our lives means we're turning away from contemplative practices. I'm guilty myself of attempting to fill every minute of every day, not taking time to pause, to be quiet; to just be.
Sometimes we just need to stop, which can be really scary as we don't know what we might find in the space when we do, but it could be something transformative.

Day 28

As a single footstep will not make a path on the earth, 

so a single thought will not make a pathway in the mind. 

To make a deep physical path, we walk again and again. 

To make a deep mental path, we must think over and over 

the kind of thoughts we wish to dominate our lives.

(Henry David Thoreau)

A suggestion for your prayer and meditation:

I walk a pathway;

Of rocks, roots,

Leaves and mud.

Traveling alone at times,

But more often with trusted companions.

We are cutting a trail of holy thoughts.
Pastor Patty Fox 40 Days with 40 Christian Mystics

The 40 days of Lent are a really useful period of time to create new habits or new ways of thinking. Repeating thoughts, actions, patterns of prayer. What did we want to dominate our lives when we began 28 Days ago? I hope this mystical Lenten journey is re-forming me, developing my spirituality and deepening my relationship with the divine so that in turn I may be a better companion and pastor to others.