The 14th

From evolution and the lifecycle of stars to our own lives, transformation and change appear to happen through periods of loss, crisis, stress, and even death. Physicists today would say that loss of energy or matter is not real. There is only transformation. Think of the changes water goes through in its journey from cloud (vapor) to liquid (rain) or solid (ice) and back to vapor. What may look like loss or death is in fact a becoming.

Richard Rohr

This is a very brief extract from today's daily meditation posted by the Centre for Action and Contemplation.
I very much believe that our lives have cycles and seasons so this resonates deeply with me, and I also believe that it's the most difficult things we experience that lead to growth and transformation.
I think we sometimes use Christmas to paper over the bad stuff, or at least push it aside for a short time - and we all need respite from the tough stuff.
But it's also healthy to remember there's still tough stuff going on, for ourselves and others. The thing is you never know (when your going through something difficult) how it will change you, what you will learn or what a catalyst it'll be.

Today I found joy in getting home from work and being greeted by my dogs, I was thankful for getting some patients home before Christmas and I felt helpless over feeling stressed and letting it show.

Scripture

When he was at the table with them, he took bread, blessed and broke it, and gave it to them. Then their eyes were opened, and they recognized him

Luke 24:30-31a

Advent word - renew

Today's photo was taken on our date day- going to see Fantastic Beasts.
Annual events which are often in many ways unchanging, like the Christmas traditions we enjoy, can shine a spotlight on what has changed for better and for worse over the previous year. There's been quite a lot of change in my marriage in the last 12 months- change of jobs, change of roles, ordination and at times it's been a difficult year.
One complaint you hear a lot in relationships is about change; one partner feels the other has changed and aren't the person they fell in love with. My viewpoint is that change is inevitable and healthy. My husband and I are 38 and 43, we were 17 and 21 when we started dating- how unhealthy would it be for us to still be the same people we were 21 years ago? We've been shaped by relationship, children, joys, disappointments and bereavements.
Change will happen, and it can be scary, but it can also be a renewal, something which breathes new life; something which transforms.

Christ is all in all. He is here symbolically in a stone altar He is here sacramentally in bread and wine. He is here spiritually in hearts lifted up and returned to us renewed, transformed, consecrated.

-Br. Mark Brown

Enjoy Our World

I won't call today a task failure but rather a postponement. It's been a busy old day and in all the activity seeds have not been planted- but they will be on Monday.
I'm worried I might have a week of postponements as I'm working 5 of the next 7 days - that's 5 12hr shifts - and I just don't know how I'll make that work. I think part of Monday might be spent planning how not to feel like I'm failing this week.
I feel like I do lots of 'putting things off' at the moment, or brushing things aside- to make room for study or to try and process my work situation - and it's often spending quality time with God that gets pushed aside. I'm so busy studying religion I don't have the time to do it!