Day 15

"...I think it is important to pray naked in front of a full-length mirror sometimes, especially when you are full of loathing for your body.  Maybe you think you are too heavy.  Maybe you have never liked the way your hipbones stick out.  do your breasts sag?  Are you too hairy?  It is always something.  Then again, maybe you have been sick or come through some surgery that has changed the way you look.  You have gotten glimpses of your body as you have bathed or changed clothes, but so far maintaining your equilibrium has depended upon staying covered up as much as you can....This can only go on so long, especially for someone who officially believes that God loves flesh and blood, no matter what kind of shape it is in.

Whether you are sick or well, lovely or irregular, there comes a time when it is vitally important for your spiritual health to drop your clothes, look in the mirror, and say,

"Here I am. 
This is the body-like-no-other that my life has shaped. 
I live here. 
This is my soul's address". 

After you take a good look around, you may decide that there is a lot to be thankful for, all things considered.

from An Altar in the World by Barbara Brown Taylor 

A suggestion for your prayer and meditation:

I think Barbara Brown Taylor has already given us a suggestion. Question is, which of us will actually do it?
Pastor Patty Fox 40 days with 40 Christian mystics

I might not love my body but it's strong and healthy. Apart from a bit of structural damage (back and feet) I'm doing OK.  My body works, even though I don't give it enough respect. I've started exercising again this week after a few years in the wilderness- I want to give my body the respect it deserves. I might not love how my body looks but I love what it can do.

On the seventh day of Christmas

...I was reminded that not everyone gets a happy Christmas

Back in work today. The ward is full so there's a bunch of people spending new year's eve in a way most of them could not have even imagined a few weeks ago. Some of them are aware that this may well be the last new year's eve they see. Tonight I thank God for my health and that I get to sleep in my own bed tonight.

Wait on God alone in stillness

"Wait on God alone in stillness, O my soul; for in him is my hope."
Psalm 62:5

I was thinking today about how the ward will be at Christmas- which patients are likely to be in, how poorly they'll be. The nature of our speciality means it's unusual for patients to be allowed out. There's a massive disappointment for people who realise they'll be in hospital for Christmas, and in our case knowing they're having treatment that will make them ill before they get better. Christmas is still very much a time for families and togetherness, anything that interferes with that- even something that might ultimately save their life- is regarded with disdain.
Whether I'm working or not (and I am this year) I try to give a few moments on Christmas day to be thankful for my health, and my families health, and to say a prayer for all those who are apart from their loved ones because they're ill, and for those who are caring for them.