Easter Day

God of little buds just now wearing green sleeves,
God of lilac limbs all full with signs of flowering,
God of fields plowed and black with turned-over earth,
God of screeching baby bird mouths widely awaiting food,

God of openness, of life and of resurrection,
Come into this Easter season and bless me.
Look around the tight, dead spaces of my heart
That still refuse to give you an entrance.

Bring your gentle but firm love.
Begin to lift the layers of resistance
That hang on tightly deep inside of me.

Open, one by one, those places in my life
Where I refuse to be overcome by surprise.
Open, one by one, those parts of my heart
Where I fight the entrance of real growth.
Open, one by one, those aspects of my spirit
Where my security struggles with the truth.

Keep me open to the different and the strange;
Help me to accept the unusual and also the ordinary;
Never allow me to tread on others' dreams
By shutting them out, closing them up,
By turning them off or pushing them away.

God of the Resurrection, God of the living,
Untomb and uncover all that needs to live in me.
Take me to people, events, and situations
And stretch me into much greater openness.

Open me.  Open me.  Open me.
For it is only then that i will grow and change.
For it is only then that I will be transformed.
For it is only then that i will know how it is
To be in the moment of rising from the dead.

(taken from may i have this dance; An Invitation to Faithful Prayer Throughout the Year by Joyce Rupp)

A suggestion for your prayer and meditation:

REJOICE, for Christ is RISEN!!!

Pastor Patty Fox 40 Days with 40 Christian Mystics

I hope that something within me has grown and changed and been transformed during these 40 days. My hope was to work on my spirituality and develop my prayer life. It's certainly given me a desire to delve deeper into mysticism, which I find resonates deeply with me.
I hope those of you who have read my posts have found some value in them and I thank Pastor Patty for originally taking this journey and blogging it so I could retread her path. 
As the prayers and meditations of the Northumbria Community have also been incredibly important over the last 6 weeks I leave you with their Morning Prayer blessing:

May the peace of the Lord Christ go with you,
wherever He may send you.
May He guide you through the wilderness,
protect you through the storm.
May He bring you home rejoicing
at the wonders He has shown you.
May He bring you home rejoicing
once again into our doors.

Day 40

One of my favourite meditations from the Northumbria Community came around again today:

Be open to the night…

Pray with open hand, not with clenched fist…

Shapes loom out of the darkness, uncertain and unclear: but the hooded stranger on horseback emerging from the mist need not be assumed to be the bearer of ill…

The night is large and full of wonders…

(Lord Dunsany)

Holy Saturday may be a day of darkness, of unknowing, but there are wonders - treasures - to be found in darkness. Pray with an open hand, not with a clenched fist. We're nearly there.

Day 39

Lent Day 39:

...Christian faith speaks about the paschal mystery, about Jesus Christ's death and resurrection as the first fruit of an inclusive harvest, about new unimaginable like breaking out through death itself and as a corrective to death.

Although for a time there was no glimmer of hope, God was near at hand, nevertheless, and Jesus was not ultimately abandoned.  The victory arrives through the living communion of love, overcoming evil from within.

To say this is not to rationalize suffering or to find a solution to the problem of evil or to offer cheap consolation.  The cross and resurrection scandalize and cannot be reconciled theoretically.

Rather, this event deepens the mystery of how God's solidarity with the suffering world brings about a future even for the most godforsaken.  It points to the real mystery of the trinitarian God as an ally against suffering and moves the community to the practice of love that corresponds to this mystery.

(from She Who Is: The Mystery of God in Feminist Theological Discourse by Elizabeth A. Johnson)

A suggestion for your prayer and meditation:

May all beings be free of suffering,
May all beings be at peace,
May all beings experience life breaking out,
May all beings be one with God.
Amen.
Pastor Patty Fox 40 Days with 40 Christian Mystics

Good Friday is a day dedicated to embracing the sadness, to dwelling with it, exploring it, accepting it. This is pretty counter-cultural as our society is perhaps more inclined to turn from sadness where possible; yet here we acknowledge our pain, name it and take ownership of it.

Day 38

While they were eating, Jesus took bread, and when he had given thanks, he broke it and gave it to his disciples, saying,“Take and eat; this is my body.” Then he took a cup, and when he had given thanks, he gave it to them, saying, “Drink from it, all of you. This is my blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins. I tell you, I will not drink from this fruit of the vine from now on until that day when I drink it new with you in my Father’s kingdom.” When they had sung a hymn, they went out to the Mount of Olives.  Matthew 26:26-30

Eucharist is recognition. It is the full realization that the one who takes, blesses, breaks, and gives is the One who, from the beginning of time, has desired to enter into communion with us. Communion is what God wants and what we want. It is the deepest cry of God's and our heart, because we are made with a heart that can be satisfied only by the one who made it.

God creates in our heart a yearning for communion that no one but God can, and wants, to fulfill. God knows this. We seldom do.

We keep looking somewhere else for that experience of belonging.
We look at the splendor of nature, the excitement of history, and the attractiveness of people, but that simple breaking of the bread, so ordinary and unspectacular, seems such an unlikely place to find the communion for which we yearn.

Still, if we have mourned our losses, listened to him on the road, and invited him into our innermost being, we will know that the communion we have been waiting to receive is the same communion he has been waiting to give.

from With Burning Hearts by Henri J.M. Nouwen

A suggestion for your prayer and meditation:
When do you yearn for communion/belonging? 

How do you attempt to satisfy that yearning?

What does it mean to you that no one but God can, and wants, to fulfill your yearning?

Meditate on these words of St. Augustine:  "My soul is restless until it rests in you, O God."
Pastor Patty Fox 40 Days with 40 Christian Mystics

How can I possibly add anything to Henri Nouwen? All I will say is that for me Eucharist is about community and equality. It's about meeting Jesus by sharing with each other, recognising our oneness and being filled up to be sent out. Eucharist is about what we do with our faith, our lives outside of those church  walls.

Day 37

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and the daughters of Life's
longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And thought they are with you
yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit,
not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.

from The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran
Maronite Christianity, an ancient sect, emerged in the fifth century when the early Christians of Syria pledged their allegiance to a hermit, Marun, whose gifts and virtues brought him many disciples. Using a ritual alive with the Aramaic tongue of Jesus and a liturgy that is among the oldest and most moving in the Christian Church, the Maronites were able to protect their traditions due to the physical remoteness of the mountain region [of Lebanon]. The spiritual nature of Gibran's mother and the impressions that the child received from the mystical ceremonies of the Maronites remained with him all his life (The New York Times).

A suggestion for your prayer and meditation:

Use this poem by Kahlil Gibran as a prayer throughout the day.  It is often easier to remember a long text like this if it is set to music.  An African-American a capella group called Sweet Honey in the Rock has recorded this poem under the title "On Children".  It's a great way to meditate. 
Pastor Patty Fox 40 Days with 40 Christian Mystics

Oddly enough I had a conversation with my daughter earlier about something Rob Bell had said in his latest podcast. The comment was (paraphrasing) that our children are not empty buckets for us to fill up with our unrealized dreams and anxieties.
Our children are not ours, they are their own and we should let them become themselves, not try to recreaye or make better versions of ourselves.
I've always encouraged by children's uniqueness, whilst trying to foster a spirit of our community life within them. I must admit I've never had much interest in trying to get them to confirm or fit in.
My daughter is 13 now  and has a really well-developed sense of self. She's unique and quirky- and happy to be so, and yet she understands that her place in the world is part of something much bigger than her own unique self.
My son is a little younger at 10. We get complimented a lot of what a lovely boy he is, and we're both amazed that he's so cute and sweet. We often joke that we don't know how he turned out so well, but I guess letting him be himself is a big part if it.
We've never felt the need to confirm to gender stereotypes or push either into any sort if mould. It's by chance that she's artistic and he likes nerf and gaming (actually so does she).
They belong not to us, but God I'm so lucky to be walking alongside them.

Day 34

Holy Creator,
thank you for artists:
visual, verbal,
musical, kinesthetic,
spiritual.

Holy Creator,
thank you for artists
who express our impressions,
our feelings, and our hopes.

Your gospel is found
not only in scripture,
but in the stroke of a brush
or of a pen,
in melody and harmony and dissonance,
within dance and movement,
within prayer.

Bless the prophecy of artists
who charm and chide,
critique and cajole,
who prompt tears, laughter,
peace, and passion.

Within their creative process
may we recognize
the divine in all creation
and be moved to awe
and wonder and worship.

Receive all art, O Divine Creator,
as acts of prayer,
a reflection and response
of creation.
And, as the disciples requested,
continue to "teach us to pray".
Amen.

(from Coming Out to God by Chris Glaser)

A suggestion for your prayer and meditation:

Take paper and crayons or paint or pencils and create an image of what you think God looks like.  It can be a form of some kind, or simply colors; whatever strikes you as representing the Holy.  Use this "hands-on" practice as a form of prayer as you welcome and honor the presence of God.
Pastor Patty Fox 40 Days with 40 Christian Mystics

I haven't been able to create my own picture of God, and in all honesty I wouldn't even know where to begin. All I can think of is Matisse's painting of an embrace.

Day 33

Deep within us all there is an amazing inner sanctuary of the soul, 
a holy place, a Divine Center, 
a speaking Voice, to which we may continuously return.  
Eternity is at our hearts, 
pressing upon our time-torn lives, 
warming us with intimations of an astounding destiny, 
calling us home unto Itself.  
Yielding to these persuasions, 
gladly committing ourselves in body and soul, 
utterly and completely, to the Light Within, 
is the beginning of true life.

(from A Testament of Devotion by Thomas R. Kelly (1893-1941) a Quaker missionary, educator, speaker, writer, and scholar)

A suggestion for your prayer and meditation:

Thomas Kelly was the first mystic I ever read.  I was introduced to him by the first female clergy I had ever met, the Rev. Pansie Evers.  The combination of these two things - an introduction to Christian mysticism and an introduction to the possibility that I too could serve God as a pastor - were life changing.  I think this is always true of the Christ Light Within; it changes us.  Whether we are awakened to it through the writings of others or through the life witness of people we are blessed to know, or through the beauty of the world around us; the Christ Light is in us waiting to warm and guide us.

How does the Light of God present Itself to you?

Where might you find it shining today?
Pastor Patty Fox 40 Days with 40 Christian Mystics

The light of God presents itself to me in my work; through people, interactions, experiences. It shines through acts of love, acts of inclusion and every time someone is invited to join in rather than being given the reasons they don't belong. The light of God shines from within us each time we remember we are loved and recognise that God calls us just as we are; unique, flawed, quirky and wonderful.

Day 32

When I look at the blood
all I see is love, love, love.
When I stop at the cross
I can see the love of God.

But I can’t see competition.
I can’t see hierarchy.
I can’t see pride or prejudice
or the abuse of authority.
I can’t see lust for power.
I can’t see manipulation.
I can’t see rage or anger
or selfish ambition.

I can’t see unforgiveness.
I can’t see hate or envy.
I can’t see stupid fighting
or bitterness, or jealousy.
I can’t see empire building.
I can’t see self-importance.
I can’t see back-stabbing
or vanity or arrogance.

I see surrender, sacrifice, salvation,
humility, righteousness, faithfulness, grace, forgiveness,
love! Love … love…

When I stop! … at the cross
I can see the love of God.

(Godfrey Birtill)

Pastor Patty combined days 32 and 33 so today I'm meditating upon the Northumbria Communities meditation for the day. The meditation speaks of things that can destroy us as individuals but also things that can eat away at communities and churches. None of those things are contained within God's love but they are within creation. We must acknowledge that. It's only by facing up to something  that we can learn to overcome it.

Day 31

A Consideration of Biblical Views of Atonement

For the last five years during Lent I have led a discussion at RCHP on Biblical Views of Atonement. There is nothing more mystical than the death and resurrection of Jesus.  My suggestion for your prayer and meditation today is simply to consider what Atonement means to you. 
Pastor Patty Fox 40 Days with 40 Christian Mystics (pastor Patty's slide show from her discussion in here)

Ok...I can't really give atonement It's full consideration in a 2 minute blog reflection, and I don't think it's necessarily the sort of thing the people who read my blog would want to read! I wrote one of my longest assignments (during theological training) on atonement and my one conclusion was no one theory gives an adequate explanation - but then do any theologies or doctrines? One thing I love about mystical Christianity is the full acceptance of holy mystery without needing to explain or understand everything. I know no absolutes in my belief other than God's eternal and unfailing love.

Day 30

This beautiful piece titled "Contemplation: Dog Art Painting" was created by Sharon Cummings and can be purchased at http://fineartamerica.com/ as well as redbubble.com

A suggestion for your prayer and meditation:

Find a tree. Sit and stay.
Pastor Patty Fox 40 Days with 40 Christian Mystics

I've tried to add a photo of the tree I spend a lot of my time staring at but the blogger app does not approve of photos at the moment.
I have a bit of a tree obsession. They make me feel calm and yet in awe. They're beautiful. Pretty much the most relatable thing I've read is the Pete Seeger quote:
"Every time I'm in the woods, i feel like I'm in church". Amen.

Day 29

Meditation is not merely the intellectual effort to master certain ideas about God, or even to impress upon our minds the mysteries of the Christian faith.  Conceptual knowledge of religious truth has an important place in our lives.  The spiritual life needs strong intellectual foundations, and reading theology helps us understand faith experience.  But meditation itself is neither study nor intellectual activity as such.  Its purpose is not to acquire or to deepen our speculative knowledge of God or of revelation.  Rather than seeking to know about God, we are seeking to know God directly, beyond all the objects which God has made.  We are seeking to experience God's presence with the awareness of loving faith.

A suggestion for your prayer and meditation:

Seek out a quiet place.  Find a comfortable, upright position in which you are relaxed but alert, with your eyes lightly closed.  Remain as still as possible.

Silently, begin to say interiorly a single word or phrase selected from the context of Christian faith.  Listen to it as you say it gently but continuously with faith and love.  Do not think or imagine anything, spiritual or otherwise.  If thoughts and images come and your attention strays, as soon as you become aware of this, return to saying your word.

(all of the above is taken from Prayer of Heart and Body by Father Thomas Ryan)
Pastor Patty Fox 40 Days with 40 Christian Mystics

I worry that the way we live our lives means we're turning away from contemplative practices. I'm guilty myself of attempting to fill every minute of every day, not taking time to pause, to be quiet; to just be.
Sometimes we just need to stop, which can be really scary as we don't know what we might find in the space when we do, but it could be something transformative.

Day 28

As a single footstep will not make a path on the earth, 

so a single thought will not make a pathway in the mind. 

To make a deep physical path, we walk again and again. 

To make a deep mental path, we must think over and over 

the kind of thoughts we wish to dominate our lives.

(Henry David Thoreau)

A suggestion for your prayer and meditation:

I walk a pathway;

Of rocks, roots,

Leaves and mud.

Traveling alone at times,

But more often with trusted companions.

We are cutting a trail of holy thoughts.
Pastor Patty Fox 40 Days with 40 Christian Mystics

The 40 days of Lent are a really useful period of time to create new habits or new ways of thinking. Repeating thoughts, actions, patterns of prayer. What did we want to dominate our lives when we began 28 Days ago? I hope this mystical Lenten journey is re-forming me, developing my spirituality and deepening my relationship with the divine so that in turn I may be a better companion and pastor to others.

Day 27

In the face of the struggle for freedom,
Give us strength.
In the face of decision about freedom,
Give us wisdom.
In the practice of freedom,
Give us guidance.
From the dangers of freedom,
Give us protection.
In the life of freedom,
Give us joy.
In the way in which we use our freedom,
Give us a clear vision

(South American Council of Churches
"A Litany for Human Rights," All Year Round
British Council of Churches, 1988)

A suggestion for your prayer and meditation:

In what way do you act on your own freedom?
In what ways are you enslaved?
Pastor Patty Fox 40 Days with 40 Christian Mystics

Really difficult questions today. I think we're (I am) enslaved, or at risk of enslavement, to the standards of our society which don't match with the teaching of Jesus. It takes a lot of courage to step away from that and give yourself over to radical love, radical hospitality and radical inclusion. Our lives are so complex but we're enslaved to that complexity. I wish for a life of radical simplicity; loving, serving and sharing. Having the ability to make that choice, to decide what shape my life will take, is the ultimate freedom.

Day 26

Home is a movement,
a quality of relationship,
a state where people seek to be "their own",
and increasingly responsible for the world.

(from The Journey is Home by Nelle Morton; theologian and Christian Educator)

A suggestion for your prayer and meditation:

Take a moment to sit quietly.
Consider when you have felt most "at home".
Imagine that place or time or experience.
Recall the sounds, smells, the texture of it.
Breath in a blessing and exhale a blessing
for the home that allows you to be "your own".
Pastor Patty Fox 40 Days with 40 Christian Mystics

For me home is being with those people who make me feel the most comfortable, the most loved; the most like myself. Our relationship with God should feel like home.

Day 25

Life is
A blue sky framed by firs.
Guilt, joy, frustration, contentment;
So many moments
That make up a day.
In all of this
Gratitude spills out
Like sap running freely from the tree.
God is good
We fail
We harm
We forget
but God is always good.
And this God
Lives in me.

A suggestion for your prayer and meditation:

How would you describe your day? 
Where do you see God in the moments of your day?
Pastor Patty Fox 40 days with 40 Christian mystics

Today was good. Today was joyful. Today was really busy! I spent time with my husband (we're often on opposite shifts), did some paperwork, spoke with friends, baked brownies, went to a mini-concert at my son's school (huge privilege for a working mum), I had the final session with a girl I'm preparing to receive her first communion and her sister who's getting confirmed, I cooked for my family and we all ate together, I made bath bombs with my daughter, coloured her hair, attended an event at church and had a drink with my church family after that!
I'm home now, a dog on either side and I look back at a busy day absolutely jam-packed with love, laughter and seeing the face if God reflected back at me everywhere I looked. Not all days are like that, but today was a good day.

Day 24

“We draw people to Christ not by loudly discrediting what they believe, by telling them how wrong they are and how right we are, but by showing them a light that is so lovely that they want with all their hearts to know the source of it.”

(From Walking on Water by Madeleine L'Engle)

A suggestion for your prayer and meditation:

Read each line of the verse below slowly and in rhythm with your breath.

The true light,
which enlightens everyone,
was coming into the world

John 1:9
Pastor Patty Fox 40 days with 40 Christian mystics

My heart breaks for those whose religion (especially Christianity) is a serious of "dos" and "do nots". Faith is not a set of divinely ordered rules to restrict us, it's something which sets us free, causes us to shine and reveals God's love in the world through us.

Day 23

"Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God".  Matthew 5:8

"This may well be the most important of all the beatitudes - from the perspective of wisdom it certainly is.  But what is purity of heart?  This is another of those concepts we have distorted badly in our very morality-oriented Christianity of the West.  For most people, purity of heart would almost certainly mean being virtuous, particularly in the sexual arena.  It would be roughly synonymous with chastity, perhaps even with celibacy.  But in wisdom teaching, purity means singleness, and the proper translation of this beatitude is, really, "Blessed are those whose heart is not divided" or "whose heart is a unified whole"...According to Jesus, this enlightenment takes place primarily within the heart.  when your heart becomes "single" - that is, when it desires one thing only, when it can live in perfect alignment with that resonant field of mutual yearning we called "the righteousness of God," then you "see God"."

(from The Wisdom Jesus: Transforming Heart and Mind by Cynthia Bourgeault)

A suggestion for your prayer and meditation:

Heart of mine,
so often scattered into pieces,
be knit together.
Gaze upon the face of the Divine,
and know that there lies essential mercy.
Be a single entity
beating with each pulse
a rhythm of love,
yearning for God.
Pastor Patty Fox 40 days with 40 Christian mystics

Not only did Jesus preach that our hearts should be unified, he declared that our whole lives should be- if we are unified beings there will be a congruence between what we say, do and think. If the law is written in our hearts it will show itself in every aspect of our lives. Blessed are the unified in heart, because they reveal God to others.

Day 22

Every element has a sound,
an original sound from the order of God;
all those sounds unite like the harmony from harps and zithers.
(Hildegard of Bingen)

A suggestion for your prayer and meditation:

Accept this offering of sound for your practice of prayer:
"Tosavalsen"

Pastor Patty Fox 40 days with 40 Christian mystics

Today Pastor Patty shares something of herself with us- her music. It's intimate- personal. We, like the elements, each have our own sound- our speech, our singing, our playing. We may not have skill, it may sound awful to others, but if we're using it in praise I'm sure it sounds beautiful to God.

Day 21

The person who dives for pearls
is never satisfied to come up with shells.
Neither should those who aim at virtue
be satisfied
with honors and reputation.

The more virtue parades itself,
the more it desires to be seen and acclaimed,
the less likely it is
to be real and true.

True virtue and personal attractiveness
are not rooted and supported
in pride, self-sufficiency, and vanity.
These produce a life lived
strictly for show.
It blooms brilliantly
and quickly withers away.

Having the appearance of virtue
may be fine for those
who do not seek it,
who accept it indifferently,
and who do not mistake the shell for the pearl.
But it can become very dangerous and hurtful
to those who cling to it,
and take delight in it.

For if someone
is truly wise, truly learned,
truly generous and noble,
their gifts will flower
in true humility and modesty.

A really great soul
will not waste itself on such empty goods
as rank, honor, and form.
It has higher aspirations.

A suggestion for your prayer and meditation:

All Through the Day; seek the pearl, not the shell.

(from Set Your Heart Free; The Practical Spirituality of Francis de Sales)
Pastor Patty Fox 40 days with 40 Christian mystics

I think we very often miss the pearl because all we see is the shell.

Day 20

Pastor Patty does day 20 & 21 together, so I'll save that for tomorrow. As we're now halfway through our Lenten journey I'll share Thomas Merton's reflection from today's Northumbria community daily prayer:

My Lord God,
I have no idea where I am going.
I do not see the road ahead of me.
I cannot know for certain where it will end.

Nor do I really know myself,
and the fact that I think that I am following Your will
does not mean that I am actually doing so.

But I believe that the desire to please You
does in fact please You.
And I hope that I have that desire
in all that I am doing.

And I know that if I do this,
You will lead me by the right road
although I may know nothing about it.

Therefore will I trust You always,
though I may seem to be lost
and in the shadow of death,
I will not fear, for You are ever with me,
and will never leave me
to face my perils alone.

(Thomas Merton)