Day 9

Faithful friends are a well-built shelter;
when you find one, you find a treasure.
Faithful friends are priceless;
their value is beyond counting.
Faithful friends are the essence of life,
a blessing for those who fear Yahweh.
Those who fear Yahweh treat others with respect;
and their friends will behave the same way.

Sirach 6:14
(Sirach was written by a Jewish scribe who lived in Jerusalem in the early third century BC. His name was Jesus, son of Eleazar, son of Sirach. He is often called simply "Ben Sira.")

A suggestion for your prayer and meditation:

"A primary activity in spiritual direction is simply listening, being a sounding board on whom others can try out ideas, oprinions, or self-criticism...This is almost a natural response to deep friendship. By making such friendship spiritual by a specific agreement of both parties, you will truly find "a treasure beyond price and a life-saving remedy". (Father William A. Meninger from The Committed Life).

Read the passage from Sirach slowly, pausing a few seconds at the end of each line.
Take a moment today and consider who among those you know might be your faithful friend.
Email or call that friend and ask if they might act as a spiritual director if even for just this one time.
Consider an idea, opinion or self-criticism that you might express to your friend and ask for their feedback.
Acknowledge their feedback refraining from the urge to agree or disagree.
Offer your response to this feedback in prayer perhaps using the statement "Creator God, pour forth your Wisdom on me and grant me insight and understanding, amen."
Pastor Patty Fox 40 days with 40 Christian mystics

I couldn't get through any aspect of my life without my friends; they are the most precious gift from God. My closest friend, Lindsay has been on my life for 34 years and knows me better than anyone- there's no way I could be anything but myself with her. I trust her honesty and counsel and she makes me laugh my bum off!
This weekend I have the utter privilege of spending in the company of two much newer friends, Tracy and Alison, who I met through training for ministry. The three and a half years we've spent together have been some of the toughest we've each experienced, but our friendship has kept us strong through it all. We're completely honest with each other, yet hold one another with such love and respect (well...mostly, we do tend to tease  Alison). Most importantly we laugh together. There's no facade, no barriers. Like when we're before God there can be no pretence or inauthenticity.

Act 7 - All Ears

I'm not a great listener. I have to concentrate really hard but because my concentration span can be really short I have to really work at it.
Nomad podcast, which I'm very fond of, recently did an interview with Terry Waite and what particularly struck me was a comment the guys made afterwards about how Terry was totally present with them in their conservation. That sort of present and generous listening is certainly something I can learn from.

‘Whoever has ears to hear, let them hear.’ (Luke 8:8 NIV)

Listen More Carefully

I am a terrible listener. I have zero concentration span, but at least I recognise my short comings! Anything that helps me to try and focus my listening can only be a good thing, as those closest to me can often feel like I have my mind elsewhere (which I usually do). I'm also an interrupter, not because I think what I have to say is more important than other people but because my short concentration span means if I don't say what's on my mind, as it comes into my mind, I'll forget it again within 30 seconds. I probably seem very rude sometimes.
Just spending a few minutes properly listening to someone benefits you both- they feel valued and you may learn something! Last Thursday I spent the day with the Wythenshawe Hospital chaplaincy team and one of the places they took me to was the dementia ward. Frank, one of the chaplains, told me to have a wander and chat to the patients- and what a wonderful and valuable experience it was.
If you really listen to someone with advanced dementia, whilst to begin with the conversation may not seem to make much sense, as you go on you pick up on cues, words and phrases that give you an insight into what they are trying to communicate to you. When talking to someone with dementia listening is the key to effective communication. It's something I really pray I can be better at.

Listen more carefully

I was at home this evening- quite a rare thing- so it was lovely just spending time with my family. My daughter was upset when I got home. She'd been in trouble at school, a very rare thing, and was completely mortified at her punishment. She was worried at how her dad would react and really sad about the things she'd missed out on. She just wanted her mum to sit and listen and hug her, which I of course did.
Once she'd had tea and cheered up she wanted to tell me everything she'd learnt in her puberty classes today...quite frankly I'm not ready for my baby girl to be talking about periods or know what an erection is but I have no choice in this one! I again listened, and told her I'm her to chat about whatever she needs to.
I would, of course, have listened to her troubles whether it was today's task or not, but I was particularly mindful today of really trying to see how she's feeling and let her know I understand.
My son was just merrily going about his own business whilst this was going on. I suggested he might go and ask his Nana how she was for his task, but he turned to me and said "but mummy, I want to know how YOU are!" I don't suppose he really listened to my answer, but it was lovely to be asked!!

Listen More Carefully

Task: to ask someone how they are and take time to listen to the answer. Listening to people is a huge part of the nursing care we give, especially working in an area where patients are nursed in isolation. The ward staff are often the people that patients are most honest with, choosing to protect their friends and families from the lows they may feel.
Now, just because I try to be a good listener with my patients doesn't mean I'm any good with my colleagues, friends and family. I do on occasion have the attention span of a three year old on skittles. I hope I tried my best today.

James 1:19
You must understand this, my beloved: let everyone be quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to anger