...I was reminded that not everyone gets a happy Christmas
Back in work today. The ward is full so there's a bunch of people spending new year's eve in a way most of them could not have even imagined a few weeks ago. Some of them are aware that this may well be the last new year's eve they see. Tonight I thank God for my health and that I get to sleep in my own bed tonight.
...I hung out with my kids
I was still studying today but also had wonderful time with my kids- swimming, cooking and just hanging out. Today I thank God for my awesome kids.
...I read a lot.
Despite the children being off school and myself working all over the festive season there's still studying to do. I have a 4000 word assignment due in 2 weeks. I read for about 10 hours today in preparation for writing this. Today I am thanking God that I get to study, free of charge and free of gender constraints, to be an ordained minister in his church.
I was really tired!
Second day back in work and I was woken up at 4.30 am by my daughter being sick. She felt much better afterwards but the prospect of a 12 hour shift ahead of me was rather daunting. As I wrote yesterday I am surrounded by an epic team but what I was grateful for today was Christmas leftovers! I thank God for the abundance of food we're blessed to have, look forward to and which sustains us when all I wanted to do was curl up and sleep.
...I was reminded how epic my job is
You never know what's going to happen on the ward between Christmas and New Year, with less planned treatments the unpredictable happens. After four beautiful days off I returned to work apprehensive but was greeted by a day of awesome colleagues, wonderful patients, one of my most favourite doctors and a LOT of festive snacks. Today I thank God for a job I love and being part of a wonderful team.
...I spent time with my family
Christmas day is often a very quiet one for us - I'm often working, so we never make big plans. Boxing day is when I've always done a big family meal, and this year was no exception. It's one of the 2 days a year (along with Easter Sunday) I'm guaranteed a visit from my big brother and his family. My mum comes home after spending a week at my brother's, and nothing is lovelier than that big mum-hug I get. We also have the fun of watching all the cousins interact- with a 2, 5, 9 and 11 year old it's an interesting mix. I thank God for my family.
I got a spring in my step
The service at St Michael's this morning was so joyful that I couldn't help but have a spring in my step! I appreciate all that was good about today and give God thanks for my family and home.
The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the one and only Son, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth. -John 1:14
I've just heard those words read by Revd. Alex at midnight mass. It's Christmas morning now and Jesus has indeed been born - our little knitted Jesus in church now lies in his manger, as does the larger one in the nativity scene outside the church. Jesus, God, has come to dwell amongst us.
For many people Christmas will be over as soon as tomorrow is, we've been Christmassed for the last 6 weeks, after tomorrow that's it for another year. For me it's just the beginning. The best thing about keeping advent as a time of waiting is that now Christmas is here I want it to stay, I want to celebrate and I want to give thanks to the God who, as the Message bible puts it, moved into the neighbourhood. He lived with us, knew us and understood us. One of us.
I wish you a joyous and peaceful Christmas - there's 12 days of it remember! Or if we're getting really technical we could keep going all the way to candlemas in February!!
On coming to the house, they saw the child with his mother Mary, and they bowed down and worshiped him. Then they opened their treasures and presented him with gifts of gold, frankincense and myrrh. -Matthew 2:11
The Magi start the tradition of unrealistic gift expectations. We understand the significance of each of the gifts but I'm usually more inclined to ponder upon Christina Rosetti's words:
"What can I give him, poor as I am?"
And the response comes from of my favourite Louis Armstrong songs:
"I can't give you anything but love- it's the only thing I've plenty of!"
Thankfully that's what we should be giving plenty of.
[The Magi] went on their way, and the star they had seen when it rose went ahead of them until it stopped over the place where the child was. When they saw the star, they were overjoyed. -Matthew 2:9-10
I left the house to go to work at 6.20 on Monday morning. It was incredibly dark but the sky was clear and full of stars- it's been quite some time since I can remember seeing the stars so clearly. The north star in particular shone so brightly it looked like something artificial. I have to say looking at those stars did make me feel overjoyed - it's something so beautiful and makes me aware of the hugeness of this world, and puts into perspective that I'm not the centre of it- something much greater is.
The shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things they had heard and seen, which were just as they had been told. -Luke 2:20
The shepherds have been in the actual presence of God and they know something amazing has taken place.
This is one of my favourite hymns:
I stand amazed in the presence
Of Jesus the Nazarene
And I wonder how He could love me,
A sinner condemned, unclean.
How marvelous, how wonderful
And my song shall ever be.
How marvelous, how wonderful
Is my Saviour's love for me.
For me it was in the garden He prayed,
"Not my will, but thine"
He had no tears for His own griefs,
But sweat drops of blood for mine.
How marvelous, how wonderful
And my song shall ever be.
How marvelous, how wonderful
Is my Saviour's love for me.
He took my sins and my sorrows,
He made them His very own;
He bore the burden to Calvary,
And suffered and died alone.
How marvelous, how wonderful
And my song shall ever be.
How marvelous, how wonderful
Is my Saviour's love for me.
When with the ransomed in glory
His face I at last shall see,
'Twill be my joy through the ages,
To sing of His love for me.
How marvelous, how wonderful
And my song shall ever be.
How marvelous, how wonderful
Is my Saviour's love for me.
But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart. -Luke 2:19
How fitting that this is today's verse when it's the Sunday in advent that we particularly think about Mary.
This morning marked the end of my placement at St Peter's House, the university chaplaincy which covers the University of Manchester, Man Met and the Royal Northern College of Music. I went in there knowing very little about the team and what they did. The placement was to experience a place of secular or sector ministry and after 19 years in the NHS I felt it was necessary to experience something outside of healthcare. I hoped this would enrich my calling to secular ministry.
What I've encountered over the 4 months I've been at St Peter's has been surprising, encouraging and endlessly fulfilling. The thriving, inclusive, and diverse worshipping community was the biggest surprise. I've often felt on the outside edge of my own branch of Christianity, not quite sure where my own slightly unusual calling and indeed my personal theology sat within the parish system the Anglican church seems to be built upon. I've always felt at home in secular ministry and finding a church as inclusive and accepting as I find chaplains to be was remarkable.
Chaplaincy and sector ministry is about accepting people in all their brokenness. It's not about making disciples, growing churches or sermonising. It's about being there for people and accepting them and loving them, because that is what God does.
The service this morning at St Peter's was beautiful, with a wonderful sermon preached by URC minister in training Alex Young, who prior to training was part of the St Peter's team. The sermon reflected on Mary's beautiful hymn of Praise, The Magnificat, but aimed to uncover the truths; how did her soul, and by extension our souls, magnify the Lord (as she says) when we are fearful, broken people?
For me it's about accepting truths- the truth of who we are and the truth of our purpose, which I believe is to be a loving and worshipping community of people.
We can look at ourselves, being honest about what is broken in us, what we are struggling with and be secure in the knowledge that, no matter what, we are reflections of God, our souls magnify him and we are loved in all our brokenness.
So they hurried off and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby, who was lying in the manger. When they had seen him, they spread the word concerning what had been told them about this child, and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them. -Luke 2:16-18
The shepherds are evalgelising like crazy, something which would make folk from my church tradition, and indeed myself, a bit uncomfortable. 'Tis not our way. We're probably worried we'll frighten people off instead of amazing them, so let's find another way to amaze people if we can't do it with words. Let's show people what a Christian truly is and what Christ's transforming love does. Be the best darn reflection of Jesus you can be. Bring joy, bring love, bring humour. Be inclusive, share what you have. Be what you want to see in this world.
When the angels had left them and gone into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, “Let’s go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about.” -Luke 2:15
The shepherds have found out about something amazing, through a terrifying and exhilarating experience, so their first thoughts are "erm...that was all a bit weird, better check it out then". They know their experience was a little unusual, they've been told something amazing in the process. By this stage they're just going with it.
I found this lovely, simple poem which sums things up:
It was like any other night in winter.
We were alert.
The predators are always hungry in these months.
Lamb is always on their menu.
The cold, froze our words.
We were shivering
and then
we were still shivering
but now in fear.
Out of nowhere, well, the sky really,
this amazing light shone.
Day, in the middle of the night!
Shivering, trembling, cowering.
Paralysed.
Nothing to hide behind
–except sheep.
Even Big Jacob was jelly!
The bright being declared,
“Don’t be afraid,
I’ve come to give you news
of the Christ –
the Messiah.”
It’s a baby!
In Bethlehem!
So we bolted for Bethlehem,
The sheep could look after themselves,
for a while.
This news was too good to miss!
We found a mum, dad and baby,
by a feed trough,
and somehow,
as the mum, Mary
showed the baby to us,
we just knew,
what the angel said was true.
She held God in her hands!
And our lives, and the world,
Would never be the same
again
Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying, “Glory to God in the highest heaven, and on earth peace to those on whom his favor rests.” -Luke 2:13-14
The heavenly host appear, providing an x-factor esque gospel back up to our main angel? Possibly. It's a timely reminder of the need for back up- a team of folk behind you who have your back, look out for you and who you do likewise for. This might be in your work (essential in healthcare!), your family, your friendship groups or your church.
I'm blessed in all these areas. I work in an acute and stressful healthcare setting where the cohesion of the team is essential, I'd be lost without my family- especially my parents, my friends always come through when I need them, my church family are amazing and my college mates keep me just the right side of sane.
What I'm not good at is remembering all this. As a bit of a control freak I always try to deal with stuff on my own, not always very successfully. When I remember that I have back up and use it amazing things happen, and I see God at work in the people I'm so blessed to have in my life.
“This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.” -Luke 2:12
Carol to contemplate tonight- one which makes me rather emotional:
See him lying on a bed of straw,
A draughty stable with an open door;
Mary cradling the babe she bore -
The Prince of glory is his name.
O now carry me to Bethlehem,
To see the Lord of love again;
Just as poor as was the stable then,
The Prince of glory when he came!
Star of silver, sweep across the skies,
Show where Jesus in the manger lies;
Shepherds, swiftly from your stupor rise
To see the Saviour of the world!
O now carry me to Bethlehem,
To see the Lord of love again;
Just as poor as was the stable then,
The Prince of glory when he came!
Angels, sing again the song you sang,
Sing the glory of God's gracious plan;
Sing that Bethlehem's little baby can
Be the Saviour of us all.
O now carry me to Bethlehem,
To see the Lord of love again;
Just as poor as was the stable then,
The Prince of glory when he came!
Mine are riches, from your poverty,
From your innocence eternity;
Mine forgiveness by your death for me,
Child of sorrow for my joy.
O now carry me to Bethlehem,
To see the Lord of love again;
Just as poor as was the stable then,
The Prince of glory when he came!
“Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord.” -Luke 2:11
Interesting poem by Godfrey Rust:
What kind of Messiah does anyone want?
What sort of Saviour will do?
Before we subscribe and get dunked in the font,
what kind of Messiah are you?
What kind of Messiah does anyone need
in our postmodern hullabaloo?
What qualifications will help him succeed?
What kind of Messiah are you?
Will you stop us from worry and calm us from fear?
Will you free us from debt and fatigue?
Will you send David Cameron packing next year?
Will you put us on top of the League?
Will you heal our diseases with mystical magic
so we'll live to 102?
Will you make it all better when things turn out tragic?
What kind of Messiah are you?
Will you find me a partner and get me a job?
Will you save me a good place to park?
Will I be superfit even though I'm a slob?
Will you keep me a berth in the ark?
Will you answer my prayers (but not everyone else's)?
Will you make all my wishes come true?
Will you bless all of Arsenal's strikers (not Chelsea's!)?
What kind of Messiah are you?
Will you be kind to Hindus and good athiests?
Will you send all the bad ones to hell?
Will you show Richard Dawkins he doesn't exist?
What is it you're planning, dotell!
Will you stop every war, every flood and tsunami
and remove the excess CO2?
Will you fix all the people who're driving me barmy?
What kind of Messiah are you?
Will you make sure my mortgage rate doesn't go higher?
Stop me drinking too much alcohol?
Can I win EuroMillions and go and retire
to a house on the Costa del Sol?
Will you bless my belief and ignore my behaviour
and vindicate all that I do?
Oh, just be my own private and personal Saviour—
what kind of Messiah are you?
But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people.” -Luke 2:10
The angels are going around terrifying folk, so they have to say "pack it in! The stuff we have to tell you is so amazing that you should be celebrating, not scared". God's intention is for us to be joyful, rejoice, celebrate- have that abundant life Jesus speaks of. To quote one of my fave films- Strictly Ballroom- a life lived in fear is a life half lived. That's not what God intends but life in all its fullness.
An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. -Luke 2:9
There's those angels going round terrifying people again! Today's verse reminded me of the William Blake watercolours which hang in Manchester's Whitworth Art Gallery. There is some very dark imagery in them. I thoroughly recommend going along and checking them out.
And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. -Luke 2:8
Something that's been mentioned during my training is how useful the shepherd and pastoral images in the bible are to us today. In context the image makes a lot of sense, it's what the people knew and could relate to, but to us we might only think of shepherds in the context of their place in the nativity.
What image would would work for us today? The shepherds are supposedly at the birth to show this isn't the God of the the rich and privileged but of those at the bottom of the pecking order- in 2015 would the angels be inviting refugees or people vilified for surviving in benefits?
What of the image of a shepherd as one who lives amongst their flock, taking care of their every need? A classroom assistant? Care home worker? Customer service adviser?! I can't think of anything that works quite so well as shepherd.
While they were there, the time came for the baby to be born, and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no guest room available for them. -Luke 2:6-7
There's a popular theory in progressive Christianity (the model of Christianity I buy into) that the sin of Sodom is not a sexual sin but (if you read the book of Genesis carefully, and Ezekiel who states it quite plainly) their sin was a lack of hospitality. They had plenty but didn't share it with those in need. If this, as I believe, is the case then being hospitable and sharing with those in need is one of the most important things we can do as it's one of the things God values most.
We know very little about the people or person who took pity on Mary, about to give birth, and Joseph, anxious at her side, but they did something wonderful.
Whilst my husband has been looking for work we've found the most overwhelming generosity of spirit amongst people, sometimes people we don't even know that well. It's a timely reminder that people are good, and often reflections of God in our lives.
He went there with Mary, who was pledged to be married to him and was expecting a child. -Luke 2:5
Being heavily pregnant is the worst. Being heavily pregnant when there's important stuff to be done is exhausting - I can't imagine how Mary felt having to travel all that way in that condition.
My first child was born on 11th January so I spent a very uncomfortable Christmas whilst I was expecting her. My son on the other hand was born in the middle of a heatwave - which presents it's own challenges!
Yet pregnancy is one of the most natural and normal things imaginable. It's ordinary. God chose to enter the Wold in the most ordinary way possible.
And everyone went to their own town to register. So Joseph also went up from the town of Nazareth in Galilee to Judea, to Bethlehem the town of David, because he belonged to the house and line of David.” -Luke 2:3-4
Joseph makes his appearance today. The interaction between Mary and Gabriel has been spread over several days but here there's no mention of Joseph's struggle and his own angelic encounter. We see him in a functional role, here because he was descended from David, helping form those all-too-neat genealogies that don't quite add up.
I think Joseph's often pushed out a bit, we hear almost nothing of him after the nativity story. I want to know more about him and how his son affected him and changed his life.
In those days Caesar Augustus issued a decree that a census should be taken of the entire Roman world. (This was the first census that took place while Quirinius was governor of Syria.) -Luke 2:1-2
I'm the first to admit Luke's history is a bit wonky here. The census of Quirinius was about a decade after the death of Herod the Great, but as Luke was writing so long after the fact I'll let him off. It's probably a bit of dramatic or literary licence to link Jesus birth to that particular govenor- trying to tie things neatly down, or maybe just a mistake. We have our reason for Mary and Joseph to need to up sticks and shoot over to Bethlehem, despite her late stage of pregnancy.
So here we have the gist of many an Internet meme of the last few weeks- a Palestinian family in need of shelter due to the political situation. My daughter's RE homework this week was to discuss similarities is the current refugee crisis and the Christmas story. I'll share a little of what she wrote:
"Mary and Joseph had to travel a long way to Bethlehem, just like the refuges from Syria fleeing from the war.
Nobody wanted to take in Mary and Joseph in their time of need. People here would help refuges but the government don't agree with the public."
“I am the Lord’s servant,” Mary answered. “May your word to me be fulfilled.” Then the angel left her. -Luke 1:38
In other words "thy will be done". I'm a bit of a control freak, I'm not good at just letting things happen. I want to control, contrive and mastermind. I don't like waiting either- seeing how something unfolds. I want to know how things are going to work out...and yet I'm comfortable with the concept of "holy mystery" and not needing to understand everything about God. That's where faith comes in I guess. I'm learning a lot at the moment about not being in control of some things, of not knowing some things and learning to accept and trust the mysteries of this life as much as I trust God.
The angel answered, “The Holy Spirit will come on you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you. So the holy one to be born will be called the Son of God.” -Luke 1:35
I found this to share:
Ballad of the Bread Man (1968) Charles Causley
Mary stood in the kitchen
Baking a loaf of bread.
An angel flew in through the window.
‘We’ve a job for you,’ he said.
‘God in his big gold heaven
Sitting in his big blue chair,
Wanted a mother for his little son.
Suddenly saw you there.’
Mary shook and trembled,
‘It isn’t true what you say.’
‘Don’t say that,’ said the angel.
‘The baby’s on its way.’
Joseph was in the workshop
Planing a piece of wood.
‘The old man’s past it,’ the neighbours said.
‘That girl’s been up to no good.’
‘And who was that elegant fellow,’
They said. ‘in the shiny gear?’
The things they said about Gabriel
Were hardly fit to hear.
Mary never answered,
Mary never replied.
She kept the information,
Like the baby, safe inside.
It was the election winter.
They went to vote in town.
When Mary found her time had come
The hotels let her down.
The baby was born in an annexe
Next to the local pub.
At midnight, a delegation
Turned up from the Farmers’ Club.
They talked about an explosion
That made a hole in the sky,
Said they’d been sent to the Lamb and Flag
To see God come down from on high.
A few days later a bishop
And a five-star general were seen
With the head of an African country
In a bullet-proof limousine.
‘We’ve come,’ they said ‘with tokens
For the little boy to choose.’
Told the tale about war and peace
In the television news.
After them came the soldiers
With rifle and bombs and gun,
Looking for enemies of the state.
The family had packed up and gone.
When they got back to the village
The neighbours said, to a man,
‘That boy will never be one of us,
Though he does what he blessed well can.’
He went round to all the people
A paper crown on his head.
Here is some bread from my father.
Take, eat, he said.
Nobody seemed very hungry.
Nobody seemed to care.
Nobody saw the God in himself
Quietly standing there.
He finished up in the papers,
He came to a very bad end.
He was charged with bringing the living to life.
No man was that prisoner’s friend.
There’s only one kind of punishment
To fit that kind of crime.
They rigged a trial and shot him dead.
They were only just in time.
They lifted the young man by the leg,
Thy lifted him by the arm,
They locked him in a cathedral
In case he came to harm.
They stored him safe as water
Under seven rocks.
One Sunday morning he burst out
Like a jack-in-the-box.
Through the town he went walking.
He showed them the holes in his head.
Now do you want any loaves? he cried.
‘Not today’ they said.
“He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High. The Lord God will give him the throne of his father David, and he will reign over Jacob’s descendants forever; his kingdom will never end.” -Luke 1:32-33
Another one for reflection today. Last Thursday we had a Key Stage 2 eucharist at St. Michael's where the junior school joined us. Whilst we were at the alter our fabulous organist played "Gabriel's Message", which always has a profound effect on me.
(But I never sing most highly flavoured gravy...no...never.......)
“…You will conceive and give birth to a son, and you are to call him Jesus…” -Luke 1:31
Something a bit different to contemplate with some pictures of how the annunciation has been depicted in different times and cultures to make it relatable to the time and place
Mary was greatly troubled at his words and wondered what kind of greeting this might be. But the angel said to her, “Do not be afraid, Mary; you have found favour with God.” -Luke 1:29-30
Greatly troubled- well you would be, wouldn't you?! And can you imagine the pressure of being told you've found favour with God? The pressure to feel you have to better than you think you can be, to live up to expectations, yet God knew exactly what he was doing. He doesn't choose the "best", holiest, most prayerful or least sinful. He uses us as we are, where we are, often without us even realising. There's very rarely angels or fanfare.
The angel went to her and said, “Greetings, you who are highly favored! The Lord is with you.” -Luke 1:28
This must have been terrifying for Mary, but in the gospel account she appears to take it all in her stride! Was she really so calm, serene and obedient? Did she feel the Lord with her and did it make her fear subside? During the tough and scary times it's hard to always be aware of God being alongside us, sometimes it's not until afterwards we can discern that he was near by. If we know someone is struggling this Advent they may have no sense of God being close, so part of our call is to journey with them too. Maybe God will use us to give them courage.
God sent the angel Gabriel to Nazareth, a town in Galilee, to a virgin pledged to be married to a man named Joseph, a descendant of David. The virgin’s name was Mary. -Luke 1:26-27
Today is setting the scene- the place and the players, setting into context the story to come. Mary and Joseph are yet to know how their lives will be changed beyond all measure. Life is like that- it can flip round in an instant and we're feeling this at home at the moment as my husband searches for a new job. We're waiting and we're hopeful but the stuff of every day life is still there, including what feels like the overwhelming spectre of Christmas. As I always remind myself at this time of year - it will happen whether we're ready or not, and the only thing that really matters is that our hearts, not homes, are ready to receive Jesus.
