Endings and beginnings

Short homily based upon Matthew 4.12-23

We have this morning a gospel of endings and beginnings. We hear that John the Baptist has been arrested, ending his ministry of preparing the way for Jesus’ arrival. On hearing the new Jesus heads north and begins the most active phase of his ministry, using the same words we’ve heard from John; “Repent, for the Kingdom of heaven has come near”. 

From John they we were words of preparation but when said by Jesus they’re words of fulfilment, he is the Kingdom. Matthew loves a bit a fulfilment in his writings, it’s believed he was a Jewish writer, writing for Jewish people. He has lots of references to Hebrew scriptures and we see that this morning as Jesus’ actions mirror Isaiah’s prophecy.

We see new beginnings for other familiar people too in the gospel as Simon-Peter, Andrew, James and John are all called by Jesus to stop casting their nets for fish and begin fishing for people, later Jesus shows us what he means by this as he and his new recruits teach, preach and heal.

It might seem to begin with that Jesus is forming a homogenous group of similar folk, but we see later in the gospel that his central twelve are quite a mixed bunch, both in background and personality. Matthew himself, if we believe the gospel writer and apostle are the same person, was a bit of an outcast due to his profession as a tax-collector but we have to assume he had some degree of education, which our fishermen probably didn’t. 

So why this bunch? Why this odd mix of men? First and foremost they were the ones who said “yes”. Who knows who else Jesus propositioned who never made it into the book because they turned him down? But also I believe that Jesus not only saw who these men were but what they could become, how they could be formed through teaching, preaching and healing and how they themselves could lead and form others.

But this isn’t just the story of them beginning their new life with Jesus, it’s the story of the ending of their old life and that’s not without cost. They’re leaving behind families and jobs, how did Peter’s Mother in Law, whom he lived with, feel about him running out on the family? What about Zebedee? What did his sons’ choice mean for his business?

Rev Rosalind Brown who sometimes writes for the Church Times wrote about her sadness at leaving her family to pursue her calling in the US; "Why can't there be beginnings without endings?"

But this is the cyclical nature of our lives, of our world and indeed our God. It’s death and resurrection. There has to be an ending for the next thing, the greater thing to begin. Sometimes we may be too scared of letting something end so that a new thing can begin, we end up maintaining the status quo at the expense of what could be something amazing, made inert by our fear.

And yet change inevitable, in our lives and in our church, who knows what amazing things may lie ahead for each of us if we have the courage to leave behind the familiar and comfortable to face the new and unknown.

Who Then is This?

Playing catch up on homilies I haven't posted!

Based on Mark 4.35-end

“Who then is this?”. How would the disciples have answered that question before what happened on the boat? And what would their answer be after it? How could they even begin to fathom what they’d just witnessed?

We might wonder when Jesus says to his disciples “why are you afraid?” if they’re scared of the storm they’ve just encountered, or scared because of what they’ve just witnessed Jesus do; who then is this? Any abstract ideas or beliefs, or any theories they may have had have now stopped being theoretical, they’re confronted with an overwhelming display of power that can’t be reasoned or rationalised. 

This man who looks like them, is from a background like theirs, has a family like theirs, just rebuked the wind and sea, and the wind and sea listened. I think that might cause the disciples to maybe be a bit fearful of Jesus, and even more than that- to fear what this means, to generate more questions, because as they try to fathom “who then is this” they also have to confront “who then am I?” and “what then does this mean for my life?”

When any of us is confronted with the reality of who Jesus is, that he is from God and is God, it has to change us. We can’t know and believe that and then be left unchanged; because if we believe Jesus is who he demonstrates he is, we have to believe in the things that he said and did, and if we believe in those things we have to start living them; and that’s hard. And it’s scary. It can involve a total deconstruction and reconstruction of our lives, motivations and principles. 

In this passage we see Jesus’ place in the created order- his place over the created order as he commands it and it responds. 

We can often feel like the disciples in the storm, overwhelmed by chaos, waiting for God’s intervention. Sometimes it feels like everything is out of control around us, and we look to see where God can be in this, and hope that he will calm the storm. Sometimes this passage is called the gospel for the overwhelmed, but there’s also a message there that God’s presence and intervention can be unnerving, as can the times when it feels God is napping during our own storms and crises. 

Jesus asks “Have you still no faith?” after the disciples witness his power. When we’re waiting out our own storms sometimes faith is all we have, and the knowledge that the gospel stories don’t end with “my God, why have you forsaken me?” but with God overcoming the very worst that humanity could do, and the disciples finally knowing, really knowing “who then is this”, and as we must be when we come to that truth, forever being changed by it. 

The 18th

I will not die an unlived life,
I will not live in fear
of falling or catching fire.
I choose to inhabit my days,
to allow my living to open me,
to make me less afraid,
more accessible,
to loosen my heart
until it becomes a wing,
a torch, a promise…

Dawna Markova

What good is it that Christ was born in a stable in Bethlehem over 2,000 years ago if he is not also born in me? How is Christ to be born in me? You have only to be, like Mary, quiet, open-hearted and receptive to the Spirit at work within you. Say with her, “Here am I, the servant of the Lord; let it be with me according to your word.”

Br. David Vryhof

I pray that I can live a fearless life, because I know that I don't.
I pray to be receptive and open to the spirit, willing to follow It's lead. I pray I can do this without fear.
I'm a bit of a control freak so letting God take control is scary. I'm telling myself tjis week that it doesn't matter what I have and haven't done to prepare for Christmas; it'll happen either way and God will still be born amongst us.

Today I found joy in Star Wars, I was thankful for my parents and I felt hopeless about my preparations being on hold for the next 2 days whilst I'm in work

Day 7

Lent Day 7

"By the term "Spiritual Exercises" is meant every method of examination of conscience, of meditation, of contemplation, of vocal and mental prayer, and of other spiritual activities....For just as taking a walk, journeying on foot, and running are bodily exercises, so we call Spiritual Exercises every way of preparing and disposing the soul to rid itself of all inordinate attachments, and, after their removal, of seeking and finding the will of God..."

(From The Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius edited by Louis J. Puhl, S.J.)

A suggestion for your prayer and meditation:

What are you most attached to?
A person?
An emotion?
A goal?

What do you do to rid yourself of inordinate or excessive attachment to these?
When you are able to do this, if even for a few seconds, how do you then go about seeking and finding God?
Pastor Patty Fox 40 Christian mystics in 40 days

I was asked a couple of weeks ago if I'm motivated by success or failure- whether my drive comes from wanting to achieve success or from a fear of failure. For me it's definitely the latter and that’s pretty unhealthy. It's an attachment I certainly need to work upon ridding myself of because it's when we allow ourselves to fail that we find something of God. On the face of it Jesus was a complete failure, yet he tells us everything we need to know of God.

Day 6

Consider the words of Jesus:
"Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you shall eat or what you shall drink, nor about your body, what you shall put on" (Matt. 6:25)

When you sit down to meditate, the first thing is to let go of your anxieties.  And when I say anxieties, I include reasoning and thinking and preoccupation and planning and all the rest.  Just let them go.  Nor is this easy.  For, as we all know, the human mind is restless.  It looks to the future with fear or anticipation; it looks to the past with nostalgia or with guilt.  Seldom does it remain in the here and now.  Yet Jesus tells us clearly to drop anxiety about the future in order to remain in the present.

"Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself.  Let the day's own trouble be sufficient for the day" (Matt. 6:34).

This sounds simple; but how difficult it is!  For we love our anxieties; we cling to them and wallow in them.  We need the advice of Jesus:  "Do not be anxious..."  His words will gradually teach us the gentle art of letting go.

A suggestion for your prayer and meditation:

If you wish you can simply repeat to yourself the words of the Lord:  "Do not be anxious", "do not be anxious"...Or, again, some people like to use the words of Peter at the Transfiguration, "Lord, it is good for us to be here" (Matt. 17:4).  Any words of sacred scripture, repeated again and again with relish, can be an excellent form of meditation; and they will succeed in warding off all anxiety and needless thinking and reasoning.  Moreover, this simple process brings us into the present moment.

All of the above is taken from Christian Zen by William Johnston.

Pastor Patty Fox 40 days with 40 Christian mystics.

Anxiety and fear for the future is something I really struggle with. I daily need to remind myself of Jesus' words and do my best to live a more mindful life, being fully 'here' in the present.

18th December

When the angels had left them and gone into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, “Let’s go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about.” -Luke 2:15

The shepherds have found out about something amazing, through a terrifying and exhilarating experience, so their first thoughts are "erm...that was all a bit weird, better check it out then". They know their experience was a little unusual,  they've been told something amazing in the process. By this stage they're just going with it.

I found this lovely, simple poem which sums things up:

It was like any other night in winter.
We were alert.
The predators are always hungry in these months.
Lamb is always on their menu.
The cold, froze our words.
We were shivering
and then
we were still shivering
but now in fear.
Out of nowhere, well, the sky really,
this amazing light shone.
Day, in the middle of the night!
Shivering, trembling, cowering.
Paralysed.
Nothing to hide behind
–except sheep.
Even Big Jacob was jelly! 
The bright being declared,
“Don’t be afraid,
I’ve come to give you news
of the Christ –
the Messiah.” 
It’s a baby!
In Bethlehem!  
So we bolted for Bethlehem,
The sheep could look after themselves,
for a while.
This news was too good to miss! 
We found a mum, dad and baby,
by a feed trough,
and somehow,
as the mum, Mary
showed the baby to us,
we just knew,
what the angel said was true.
She held God in her hands!
And our lives, and the world,
Would never be the same
again

14th December

But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people.” -Luke 2:10

The angels are going around terrifying folk, so they have to say "pack it in! The stuff we have to tell you is so amazing that you should be celebrating, not scared". God's intention is for us to be joyful, rejoice, celebrate- have that abundant life Jesus speaks of. To quote one of my fave films- Strictly Ballroom- a life lived in fear is a life half lived. That's not what God intends but life in all its fullness.

13th December

An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. -Luke 2:9

There's those angels going round terrifying people again! Today's verse reminded me of the William Blake watercolours which hang in Manchester's Whitworth Art Gallery. There is some very dark imagery in them. I thoroughly recommend going along and checking them out.

2nd December

The angel went to her and said, “Greetings, you who are highly favored! The Lord is with you.” -Luke 1:28

This must have been terrifying for Mary, but in the gospel account she appears to take it all in her stride! Was she really so calm, serene and obedient? Did she feel the Lord with her and did it make her fear subside? During the tough and scary times it's hard to always be aware of God being alongside us, sometimes it's not until afterwards we can discern that he was near by. If we know someone is struggling this Advent they may have no sense of God being close, so part of our call is to journey with them too. Maybe God will use us to give them courage.

Darkness is not dark to you

"Even the darkness is not dark to you
   the night is as bright as the day
   for darkness is as light to you"
(Psalm 139:12)

When I was very young I was, like many children, scared of the dark. My parents had to go to bed with the landing light on for years. When I became a teenager I liked the dark- I could hide in the dark, it was comforting.
I still find the dark comforting and not scary. Sometimes the darkness makes it easier to focus on God- I close my eyes to pray or listen to someone reading scripture. But in the bible light and dark imagery are used to symbolise good and evil or God and evil. That's why I've chosen the above verse- in the light or in the dark God is always with us.
Despite being "the true light which enlightens everyone" He can be hidden or eclipsed by the bright lights and sparkle of Christmas, or found in the darkest corner. Whether acknowledged or not, He is there.

Keep in touch more

The lack of blog last night was down to me attending a vigil in the monastery- after that I was all thoughtful and decided not to write until this morning.
I pretty much failed yesterday's task, which was to phone someone you hadn't spoken to in a while. I was hoping to find time to phone my brother, as my beautiful niece is baptised today and my being on retreat (strictly non-optional even though it's not a teaching weekend), means I can't be there- but it was difficult to find appropriate space and place to do it. I did text him. Not really the same.
Being away has given me time with my thoughts and with God. The weekend has been themed around five of Seiger Koda's paintings depicting moments from Peter's life. The two questions which have been on my mind from our discussions are "what am I afraid of?" and "what is my worth?"

Get up and do not be afraid

I learned something very interesting from Vicky's sermon last Sunday- in the Bible the words "do not be afraid" appear 365 times, once for every day of the year- how amazing is that?!
There's so many things that we fear it can really get in the way of living the abundant life Jesus wishes us to.
By this stage in Advent I've usually lost the plot completely- overwhelmed by anxiety preparing gifts, shopping, baking, cleaning. Despite fearing that my wobble was coming last week and being busier than ever I feel relatively chilled out. There's a small undercurrent of anxiety- not many cards written, no decorations up and the house is a mess- but it's all manageable. Whatever I can do will be done, and what I can't...well those who love me will understand, and after all I'm trying to emphasise that those superficial things aren't at the heart of Christmas. Maybe that's why I'm so calm- for once I can only focus on Jesus as I've no time for anything else!