Day 35

Pastor Patty gets a rest again this evening as she combines days 34 & 35. Below is a Monday of Holy Week Meditation, based upon John 12:1-11, taken from Mary and Martha; Jesus’ family of choice, a chapter in Alice Connor’s Fierce. Alice Connor is an Episcopal priest and college chaplain in Cincinnati. The aim of her book is to reclaim and retell the stories of biblical woman in a way which helps us to identify our own lives in theirs, seeing them as more than players in the men’s stories.

I used the chapter this evening (the wording in one or two places is altered very slightly to fit our context) at an intimate service where prayers were offered for wholeness and healing, and each of us was anointed with the newly blessed oil from this morning's Chrism service at Manchester cathedral. This service is held each Holy week. Oils are blessed for anointing the sick, baptism and confirmation, and ministers renew their vows. 

Mary and Martha were, in my mind, Jesus’ chosen family. When he wanted rest, he went to their hometown, Bethany. When their brother died, Jesus wept- one of only two places in scripture that happens. Jesus had his own family of course- his folks, Mary and Joseph, and his brothers and sisters (it’s true)- but he also had the family he’s chosen. Marginalised people know this concept well: the people you choose to give your heart to, not just the ones you were born with. Some people even say it was Lazarus who was Jesus’ Beloved Disciple.

There are three stories about this little family and their experience of Jesus. It’s hard to synthesise a single theme from them; each says something different. The stories are about gradual spiritual awakening, maybe. They’re definitely about family life.

Tonight, we heard the third story; a story about preparation. It’s the one everyone thinks is about Mary Magdalene (it’s not) and a harlot coming to the faith (again, it’s not). All four gospels have a version of the story, and all of them are about preparation for Jesus’ death. See, Jesus had come back to Bethany one last time to prepare for his looming death and was eating dinner at the family table. Mary and Martha and Lazarus were all there, eating and drinking and enjoying each other’s presence.

Mary, who had a more contemplative air than the other two, got up from the table and returned with a fancy jar of perfumed oil- nard, actually, from the spikenard plant, very expensive. And it looked to be an entire pound of the stuff. It would have cost a fortune. She opened the jar, and immediately the spicy scent filled the whole house. It was intoxicating to breathe it in, like the fumes of a good bourbon or fresh coffee beans, only more so. She poured handfuls of the slippery oil on Jesus’ feet and wiped them with her hair. This is where some folks have said she was clearly a harlot because only a sexually sinful woman would have her hair down and perform such an intimate act with it. Only that’s not the point the Gospel of John is making. Mary was foreshadowing Jesus’ washing his disciples’ feet at his last supper. Mary was preparing Jesus for his burial. She saw, somehow, that his end was near, so she showed him her extravagant love while he was still alive. Beautiful and heart-breaking.

This is Jesus’ family of choice. These people refill him when he has poured himself out for the crowds, the people who demand he see their loss and their grief, the people who walk with him as he walks to his own death- these are the people Jesus chose to be his family.

Two women and their brother provided a space of rest for him, a space of refilling, like when he’d go off by himself to pray but with home-cooked meals. This family in Bethany you wouldn’t have expected in first-century Israel- women running a household, making extravagant choices- he gave them a deeper, more divine relationship with God simply by being present with them, and a kind of consecration of their daily lives. Mary and Martha and Lazarus gave him- reminded him of, maybe- an awareness of God’s presence. Yes, I know he’s God, but also he’s human, and I imagine all the preaching and healing and pushing back against authority gave him one hell of a headache.

Jesus feels our own headaches now from dealing with the world. He understands how LGBTQ folks form new families around themselves because their families of origin cannot find the grace to love them. He understands how kids who survived the foster system create new families so they won’t be alone. Jesus understands choosing family outside of the ones who birthed us. My family is both. I choose the people who made me because they’re amazing and I’m constantly aware of what a gift that is. I choose the people who choose me- my church, my friends, my colleagues. And Mary and Martha chose Jesus to be in their family.

The feeling of rightness, of belonging, of family, is Jesus showing up in our lives.

Depiction of John 12:1-11 is stained glass at St Michael's Flixton