I Will Write it on Their Hearts

I had a tricky task this morning- it was only my second sermon since starting ordination training but the gospel reading I had to preach upon was one of the most challenging and troubling. Here's how I tackled it:

Matthew 5:21-37

 ‘You have heard that it was said to those of ancient times, “You shall not murder”; and “whoever murders shall be liable to judgement.” But I say to you that if you are angry with a brother or sister, you will be liable to judgement; and if you insult a brother or sister, you will be liable to the council; and if you say, “You fool”, you will be liable to the hell of fire. So when you are offering your gift at the altar, if you remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go; first be reconciled to your brother or sister, and then come and offer your gift. Come to terms quickly with your accuser while you are on the way to court with him, or your accuser may hand you over to the judge, and the judge to the guard, and you will be thrown into prison. Truly I tell you, you will never get out until you have paid the last penny.

 ‘You have heard that it was said, “You shall not commit adultery.” But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away; it is better for you to lose one of your members than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away; it is better for you to lose one of your members than for your whole body to go into hell.

 ‘It was also said, “Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.” But I say to you that anyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of unchastity, causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.

 ‘Again, you have heard that it was said to those of ancient times, “You shall not swear falsely, but carry out the vows you have made to the Lord.” But I say to you, Do not swear at all, either by heaven, for it is the throne of God, or by the earth, for it is his footstool, or by Jerusalem, for it is the city of the great King. And do not swear by your head, for you cannot make one hair white or black. Let your word be “Yes, Yes” or “No, No”; anything more than this comes from the evil one.

(Other passages referred to below are Psalm 119:1-8, Deuteronomy 30:15-20 & Jeremiah 31:29-34)

As most of you will know I’m very new to preaching so was unsure how to feel when I began to study today’s very challenging gospel reading. It’s probably something I would have preferred to reflect upon with a bit more experience behind me. Yet, as I spent time with the scripture I was challenged and inspired by what Jesus had to say.

I’ve come to realise that, whilst the passage is difficult, I have the privilege to preach on a Gospel passage that thousands before me have preferred to gloss over, talk around or even worse, the scripture has been used to justify violent punishments and oppress abused wives. So where to begin…

How many of us have friends who whilst they don’t come to church, or even identify themselves as Christians, have told us how marvellous they think Jesus was? That they may not consider him the son of God, but he was a wonderful moral guide and teacher? Love, peace and loveliness was the business of Jesus. Standing up for the oppressed, the marginalised, standing up for women. Even when he got angry in the temple it was to make a stand against hypocrisy. Jesus was a moral crusader- and a gentle listener-“let the little children come to me!” we hear him say.

He spoke of lilies and sparrows. We like this Jesus. Non Christians like this Jesus. Stand up Comedian Eddie Izzard in a very tongue in cheek skit calls this version of Christ the “Anglo-Saxon Hippy”. This Jesus is often depicted in art as a fair haired European surrounded by children, birds and animals. St John’s in Old Trafford has a beautiful window depicting the risen Christ as decidedly blonde and Scandinavian looking. It’s nickname, I’m told, is Bjorn Again.

So, then we meet the Jesus of today’s gospel reading. More fiery tele-evangelist than Anglo-Saxon hippy. There’s potential eye gougings, hand choppings and our gentle saviour informing us that he hasn’t come to abolish the Jewish law, but to make it even more difficult to fulfil. Who is this version of Jesus- and do I know him at all??

The answer to that lies in the knowledge that most things we read in the bible cannot just be taken at face value. Everything has context. To address the issue of the violent imagery Jesus uses we need to understand some of the traditions used by Hebrew orators. Hyperbole was used then, as now, to emphasise the importance of what was being said. These extreme metaphors we might paraphrase as “look- just don’t even think about it!” They’re deliberate exaggerations to hammer the point home. At times, with our lack of knowledge about pictorial style of speech used by the Jews of the time, we Christians can fail to see the reality behind what is figurative.

Even the fires of hell are figurative as the translation is not Sheol but Gehenna- where the cities rubbish dump burned day and night.

So what about the issue of divorce- it can still be very divisive in the church even though it’s widely accepted in secular society. Divorced people may be allowed to marry in church, and train for the priesthood, but here it is- Jesus plainly stating don’t do it. There are issues dividing the church which many would love there to be such clarity about.

You can only divorce your wife if she’s unfaithful. But this is also not quite so clear, and rather than oppress women Jesus’ words are to protect them. Jewish men could obtain divorces for all sorts of lax reasons, abandoning their former wives and children and devaluing marriage and married love. Woman had no legal voice so could not divorce their husbands or protest if they were to be divorced.

Jesus reminds his listeners they need a really good reason to divorce, or they won’t be right with God, preventing women being abandoned and unsupported by the whim of their husband. It served as a reminder of the importance and value of marriage- that it’s not something you enter into lightly.

Of course in our modern British society women thankfully are as legally valid as men. We also realise there are other valid and painful reasons a couple may choose to divorce. Jesus chose his words to make his audience remember that if they married a woman they were responsible for her.

So what of Jesus taking the law even further? You shall not murder is extended to include feelings of anger, you shall not commit adultery to include lustful feelings, and making wrongful use of God’s name includes swearing oaths by it.

I thought Jesus was sent to fulfil the law because God knew it was impossible to keep all the laws ourselves? Yet here he makes what many found unattainable even harder.

But many of the things Jesus refers to here concern our outward actions in relation to what we feel in our hearts. How many times do we excuse someone’s actions by saying “well at least their heart was in the right place?” We learn in the gospel that what is in our hearts is far more important than our actions- but more than this, if our heart is in the right place then our actions will be correct. It’s no good if we just do all the right things, sacrifice and worship mean nothing if they are just for show. Reconciliation is more important than sacrifice, and making peace more important than worshiping God. When we have done these things we are in a right relationship with God and ready to come before him.

Psalm 119, the hymn of praise to the law, tells us to seek God with our whole heart and that if we learn and follow God’s law we will praise him with an upright heart. The reading from Deuteronomy reminds us that if our hearts turn from God we will go astray.

With St Valentine’s Day just 2 days ago there are images of hearts everywhere- beautiful red and pink sparkly outward signs of the inner feelings we have for our most dear and loved ones.

But what would a true representation of our heart look like? I think mine might sometimes look a bit saggy, and a bit ragged, and some of the glitter might have fallen off, because as much as we love and seek God, and strive to do good things, we don’t always feel it in our hearts.

How do we feel in our hearts when Jesus’ message is not always one of comfort? He was a radical and his message was, and still is, radical.

The new covenant promised in the Book of Jeremiah is this : I will put my law within them, and I will write it on their hearts; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people. No longer shall they teach one another, or say to each other, ‘Know the Lord’, for they shall all know me.”

Jesus has made this possible by atoning for our sins, in the most radical act imaginable, by fulfilling the law and by one other thing. He has sent us our Guide and counsellor- the Holy Spirit- who lives in our hearts. We therefore have God’s law within us. We’re not always very good at accessing it, and we may sometimes need a bit more reconciliation and peace making than at other times before we’re ready to come before God, but it is there in each and every one us.

With that knowledge, of God in each of us, maybe seeking him won’t seem so hard at times. Maybe the knowledge that God is in our hearts will help change our hearts, give us integrity between our hearts and our actions, and help us not to hide our brokenness but to bring it openly before God, who knows us, knows our hearts, and loves us.

And With Fear And Trembling Stand

Well I threatened to blog all through Advent so here goes...
Today was a day of new beginnings in so many ways- the first day of December, the first day of Advent and a new year in the church calendar. It was also my first proper sermon, and I was terrified!
Luckily rescue remedy and lots of friendly faces peering back at me meant I got through it and people said very kind and lovely things afterwards.
But...after so much time preparing for the first day of Advent- I was leading Family Praise too this afternoon- how do I now get myself spiritually prepared for Christmas? I have my first assignment due in on the 18th, intercessions to write for the 15th, the children’s social events and one or two of my own. What time is there- with study, work and family- to get myself spiritually ready to receive Jesus? Today's gospel reading from Matthew reminded us that we must always be ready, and actually Jesus loves us just as we are, which in the circumstances is a good thing!

Is the church a feminist institution?

...I'm actually actually doing it. I'm an ordinand- there, I said it! My word it's...exhausting! With our first two residential weekends done and our week night teaching coming towards the end of the first team it all feels official- and I have clever books, and nice files, and highlighters. But more than that I'm reading, learning, engaging my brain. I'm knackered!
This Sunday I preach my first sermon- Advent Sunday. But by way of preparation and practice each member of my group prepared and presented a 2-3 minute "thought of the day". Here's mine:

I’ve taken a lot of interest in the last few months of the “Everyday Sexism” campaign. This catalogues instances of sexism experienced by women all over the world on a day-to-day basis. People can use social media sites, especially Twitter, to share their experiences of sexism, harassment and assault. It highlights a problem which is still sadly widespread. The matter-of-factness of some of the occurrences, there acceptance and normalisation in everyday life and the responses of some men when challenged about their behaviour is truly shocking.

With the recent vote on female bishops at General Synod, the role of women in the priesthood is under the spotlight once more. There are many accusations, especially from the media, thrown at the Anglican church of being an archaic and sexist institution. The communion I call myself part of has been accused of institutionalised sexism, dressed up as "legitimate theological difference".

I don’t shy away from calling myself a feminist, and I don’t feel that is at odds with my Christian faith. Theologian and feminist Vicky Beeching argues the view point that Jesus himself was very much a feminist. Her points include

·       His refusal to bow to cultural stigmas in an era when women were uneducated, had no legally valid voice and were essentially property.

·       He talked freely with women and encouraged theological study.

·       He chose Mary to deliver the message of his resurrection.

Feminism is a much misunderstood word, and seems to conjure up many negative images. Many strong and pioneering women have felt the need to say “but I’m not a feminist”, as if it were something damaging to our gender. But Feminism is quite simply the belief in total equality, dignity and value for women. By that definition I’d like to think that most of us could call ourselves feminists, and that hopefully the church could too.

The Next Step

As most of my friends and family will know by now, the outcome of my BAP was that I have been recommended for ordination training. As the bishop, and others, have been keen to point out, this is not a recommendation for the priesthood,  but to begin training for the priesthood. Nothing is set in stone until the bishop lays his hands on my head and says the magic words...which seems both a long way away and yet I'm sure, with everything that will happen in the next 3 years, will soon be upon us.
The next two months, besides the more obvious preparation and pre course learning, will probably be spent trying to explain what a Minister in Secular Employment, or MSE is. What follows is a transcript of an article I've written for the church magazine. More info can be found here:
http://www.chrism.org.uk/
http://www.manchester.anglican.org/resources-for-ministers/mse

"Many of you will have heard by now, either from myself, word of mouth, or Vicky, that I've been accepted for training in ordained ministry. What you might be unfamiliar with is the ministry for which I'm being prepared.
You may know me as Mike's wife, or Judith's daughter. Those of you with young families may know me as a worship leader at Peewits or Family Praise. I also coordinate the Wholeness and Healing Ministry Team and have been a member of PCC for many years. In the secular world I am a nursing sister at Christie Hospital, caring for patients who are undergoing high dose chemotherapy and stem cell transplants. For the last two years what I've been trying to discern is whether I also had a priestly calling alongside my vocation as a nurse.
Ministers in Secular Employment, or MSEs, exercise an ordained ministry primarily in their place of work. You continue to do your payed employment but alongside this you bring a priestly presence to your workplace, which can manifest itself in all manner of ways- it is very much a ministry of readiness, and of being a very public Christian.
The patients I care for are almost always nursed in isolation, due to weak immune systems leaving them very vulnerable to infection. Their hospital stays are usually for several weeks, or even months. Helping them to live out their spiritual lives in an environment which can impair their sense of 'self' is central to my ministry, but there is also the opportunity to care for their families and my colleagues. My training has been welcomed by both the ward and chaplaincy team at The Christie!
Whilst the role of MSE is primarily linked to your payed profession it is a dual ministry shared with your parish church. This means I eventually will, God willing, be licensed to serve as a priest here at St Michael's as well. The training is Part time, but (as the university prospectus keeps reminding me) not spare time! I will be expected to study for about 15 hours a week on top of one evening at university and working full time. I ask for your prayers and your patience, and to share in my journey over the next three years- and beyond! I would also ask you to keep Faith, Jacob and Mike in your prayers. Additional time apart will be tough for us all, but we as a family believe this is God's will for our lives, and whilst there may be hard work ahead it will also be a very big adventure. I hold very close to my heart the words from psalm 37, verses 23-24: "Our steps are made firm by the Lord, when he delights in our way; though we stumble, we shall not fall headlong, for the Lord holds us by the hand." "