Broken Bread

Sonnet by Malcolm Guite used in this morning's service:

We thought that everything was lost and gone,

Disaster on disaster overtook us

The night we left our Jesus all alone

And we were scattered, and our faith forsook us.

But oh that foul Friday proved far worse,

For we had hoped that he had been the one,

Till crucifixion proved he was a curse,

And on the cross our hopes were all undone.

Oh foolish foolish heart why do you grieve?

Here is good news and comfort to your soul:

Open your mind to scripture and believe

He bore the curse for you to make you whole

The living God was numbered with the dead

That He might bring you Life in broken bread.

Celtic Lent Day 37

This is quite long this evening as I'm sharing the meditation from yesterday evening's Celtic Wholeness and Healing Service.

The Cup of Joy, Henri J. M. Nouwen, Dutch Catholic priest:
The cup of life is the cup of joy as much as the cup of sorrow. It is the cup in which sorrows and joys, sadness and gladness, mourning and dancing are never separated. If joys could not be where sorrows are, the cup of life would never be drinkable. That is why we have to hold the cup in our hands and look carefully to see joys hidden in our sorrows. Can we look up to Jesus as to the man of joys? It seems impossible to see joy hanging with outstretched arms on a wooden cross. Still, the cross of Jesus is often presented as a glorious throne on which the King is seated. There the body of Jesus is portrayed not as racked by flagellation and crucifixion but as a beautiful, luminous body with sacred wounds. The cross of San Damiano that spoke to St Francis of Assisi is a good example. It shows the crucified Jesus as the victorious Jesus. The cross is surrounded by splendid gold; the body of Jesus is a perfect, immaculate human body; the horizontal beam on which he hangs is painted as the open grave from which Jesus rose; and all those gathered under the cross with Mary and John are full of joy. At the top we can see God’s hand, surrounded by angels, drawing Jesus back into heaven. This is a resurrection cross, in which we see Jesus lifted up in glory. Jesus’ words ‘When I am lifted up from the earth, I shall draw all people to myself,’ (John 12:32) refer not only to his crucifixion but also to his resurrection. Being lifted up means not only being lifted up as the crucified one but also being lifted up as the risen one. It speaks not only about agony but also about ecstasy, not only about sorrow but also about joy. Joys are hidden in sorrows! I know this from my own times of depression. I know it from living with people with intellectual disabilities. I know it from looking into the eyes of patients, and from being with the poorest of the poor. We keep forgetting this truth and become overwhelmed by our own darkness. We easily lose sight of our joys and speak of our sorrows as the only reality there is. We need to remind each other that the cup of sorrow is also the cup of joy, that precisely what causes us sadness can become the fertile ground for gladness. Indeed, we need to be angels for each other, to give each other strength and consolation. Because only when we fully realize that the cup of life is not only a cup of sorrow but also a cup of joy will we be able to drink it.

I feel this mixture of joy and sorrow, of all that we are and all that life is, is contained within the Eucharist. With each communion we remember the final days of Jesus’ life and celebrate his Resurrection. 

Richard Rohr, American Franciscan Friar and Catholic priest says this of the Eucharist:

The Eucharist offers one focused moment of truth, showing that the Christ and this ordinary bit of elemental bread are one, and therefore the spiritual and the material can apparently coexist. Struggle with that, resist it, fall in love with it, eat it. You can't just think about it rationally in your mind. Spiritual things are known in a whole-body way. You know them with your body, heart, soul, and mind all operating together. In this mysterious sacrament of Eucharist, you eat the bread; it becomes one with you; you become one with all those around you who are the same Body of Christ. It's a corporeal, cellular knowing. The bread is for the sake of the people, it is food for the sick and weary, a medicine for the soul to let people know that they are what they eat!

As we move towards our Eucharist this evening, remember that in it we share Jesus’ joy and sorrow and he shares in ours. We offer all within us which needs healing and unity, both with Christ and with each other. We are one in the body of Christ, we drink from the cup of joy knowing sorrows still lie ahead, but also knowing that the sadness of Good Friday is always following by the joy of Easter Day.

Scripture
So Jesus said to them, ‘Very truly, I tell you, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood, you have no life in you. Those who eat my flesh and drink my blood have eternal life, and I will raise them up on the last day; for my flesh is true food and my blood is true drink. Those who eat my flesh and drink my blood abide in me, and I in them. Just as the living Father sent me, and I live because of the Father, so whoever eats me will live because of me. This is the bread that came down from heaven, not like that which your ancestors ate, and they died. But the one who eats this bread will live for ever.’
John 6:53-58

Celtic Lent Day 11

Listening to the rain
What a thing it is to sit absolutely alone, in the forest, at night, cherished by this wonderful, unintelligible, perfectly innocent speech, the most comforting speech in the world, the talk the rain makes by itself all over the ridges, and the talk of the watercourses everywhere in the hollows. Nobody started it, nobody is going to stop it. It will talk as long as it wants, this rain. As long as it talks, I am going to listen.
Thomas Merton

There's something overwhelmingly spiritual about being immersed in nature, I never feel closer to God than when I'm outdoors. The connection to the patterns and rhythms of the seasons, feeling connected to something so much bigger and ancient than myself. My understanding is that this lies at the heart of Celtic spirituality; the never-ending relationship between humankind and creation.
Overnight (at work) I've watched everything be transformed by a blanket of snow; there's a silence snow creates which invites me to listen to its peace and find something in it.

Scripture
Deep calls to deep
   at the thunder of your cataracts;
all your waves and your billows
   have gone over me.
By day the Lord commands his steadfast love,
   and at night his song is with me,
   a prayer to the God of my life.
Psalm 42.7-8

Celtic Lent Day 10

Day Dream 
One day people will touch and talk perhaps easily,
And loving be natural as breathing and warm as sunlight,
And people will untie themselves, as string is unknotted,
Unfold and yawn and stretch and spread their fingers,
Unfurl, uncurl like seaweed returned to the sea,
And work will be simple and swift as a seagull flying,
And play will be casual and quiet as a seagull settling,
And the clocks will stop, and no one will wonder or care or notice,
And people will smile without reason,
Even in winter, even in the rain.
A.S.J Tessimond

If I could change something about my life it would be to live a life without hurry. I'm so consumed thinking about the next thing I should be doing that I can rarely give people or moments the time they deserve. I long to learn how to live in the present, not always hurrying ahead.

Scripture
The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field, which someone found and hid; then in his joy he goes and sells all that he has and buys that field.
Matthew 13.44

Celtic Lent Day 9

I have never been one to limit God to the scriptures, though the scriptures have nourished me well. My god is not imprisoned anywhere, nor in the bible nor the tabernacle.  Real Presence is everywhere, and those with the hearts if children revel in it. So much that I do not blush to call divine is revealed tome each day. The Word and the Bread! That's all there is. They continue becoming flesh. A crumb at a time!
Macrina Wiederkehr

My tradition has the bible and the Eucharist at the centre, but even more central are people themselves. The divine is in all people and in all places. The words of scripture can nourish faith but do not contain an uncontainable deity. My lived experiences, nourished by the word and sustained by the holy meal, teach me the most about God.

Scripture
While they were eating, Jesus took a loaf of bread, and after blessing it he broke it, gave it to the disciples, and said, ‘Take, eat; this is my body.’
Matthew 26.26

Day 38

While they were eating, Jesus took bread, and when he had given thanks, he broke it and gave it to his disciples, saying,“Take and eat; this is my body.” Then he took a cup, and when he had given thanks, he gave it to them, saying, “Drink from it, all of you. This is my blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins. I tell you, I will not drink from this fruit of the vine from now on until that day when I drink it new with you in my Father’s kingdom.” When they had sung a hymn, they went out to the Mount of Olives.  Matthew 26:26-30

Eucharist is recognition. It is the full realization that the one who takes, blesses, breaks, and gives is the One who, from the beginning of time, has desired to enter into communion with us. Communion is what God wants and what we want. It is the deepest cry of God's and our heart, because we are made with a heart that can be satisfied only by the one who made it.

God creates in our heart a yearning for communion that no one but God can, and wants, to fulfill. God knows this. We seldom do.

We keep looking somewhere else for that experience of belonging.
We look at the splendor of nature, the excitement of history, and the attractiveness of people, but that simple breaking of the bread, so ordinary and unspectacular, seems such an unlikely place to find the communion for which we yearn.

Still, if we have mourned our losses, listened to him on the road, and invited him into our innermost being, we will know that the communion we have been waiting to receive is the same communion he has been waiting to give.

from With Burning Hearts by Henri J.M. Nouwen

A suggestion for your prayer and meditation:
When do you yearn for communion/belonging? 

How do you attempt to satisfy that yearning?

What does it mean to you that no one but God can, and wants, to fulfill your yearning?

Meditate on these words of St. Augustine:  "My soul is restless until it rests in you, O God."
Pastor Patty Fox 40 Days with 40 Christian Mystics

How can I possibly add anything to Henri Nouwen? All I will say is that for me Eucharist is about community and equality. It's about meeting Jesus by sharing with each other, recognising our oneness and being filled up to be sent out. Eucharist is about what we do with our faith, our lives outside of those church  walls.

Spiritual Diet Plan

Sermon preached 16.8.15 based on Proverbs 9:1-6, Psalm 34:9-14, Ephesians 5:15-20 and John 6:51-58.

My routine each day when I arrive on the ward where I work is to go straight to the kitchen and make myself a cup of coffee. This follows the travel mug of coffee I’ve made at home and drunk on my drive in. I love my morning coffee, and those who know me quite well might allude to the fact that I’m not the cheerful and kind soul you all know me to be until I’ve had it.

On Tuesday when I arrived into the ward kitchen, following my daily routine, my colleague was making what looked like a cup of herbal tea. When I remarked upon it she declared she was detoxing, had given up caffeine (a thought that would fill me with horror), and was drinking special detox “Boo tea…all the celebs are drinking it!” I was informed.

I’m not really that well in touch with celebrity culture but this isn’t the first diet fad to hit the ward- we’ve had the usual Weight Watchers and Slimming World, but then there’s been Liter Life, Slim fast, The Atkins Diet, Blood Group diet, magic water and the 5:2 diet. I myself- I know, unbelievable- have tried some of these.

There’s also been the exercise regimes that have spread through the ward- running clubs, boot camp, mountain biking, spinning, tough mudder, yoga, pilates- I’m exhausted just saying that- all in pursuit of being of being the healthiest, trimmest, best version of ourselves. To be our best.

These physical interventions also have psychological benefits- we feel better about ourselves, we have more energy, but there’s often a downside. The latest fad diet is often hard to maintain, you give in to temptation, or get fed up of being “good”. My friend with her Boo tea was scuppered even before lunchtime- as we so often are at work- by grateful relatives with a large delivery of cupcakes, which is probably why despite having a ward 150m long I’m still not slim.

After all this talk of food you might be feeling a bit peckish, and maybe doubly so after today’s readings; In our Proverbs reading we were invited to drink the wine and eat the bread of wisdom, The psalm alluded to the Lord feeding our spiritual hunger and the Ephesians reading warned us to be filled with the Holy Spirit rather than the alcoholic sort.

The diet and fitness regimes popular amongst my colleagues serve to improve our physical health, and as I’ve mentioned there are psychological benefits, but scripture is rich with metaphors of hunger and thirst which seek to show us how to improve our spiritual health and get our souls into shape.

The Gospel reading has Jesus inviting us to share in the ultimate spiritual diet- to eat his flesh and drink his blood, “the one who eats this bread will live forever”. The diet Jesus has to offer us is not a quick fix for the here and now- it’s a plan to get us fit for eternity. In our culture we’re so keen to satisfy our other appetites- like the hunger to be fitter or slimmer, to “look better” and to live longer- that it’s easy to neglect our spiritual hunger.

Jesus reveals in the gospel that he is the one who can really sustain us. We try to feed our other appetites and hope that this will bring us happiness, and we may have tried to feed our spiritual hunger in other ways, or by other spiritual practices. Like the attempt to find the perfect weight loss or exercise plan, it doesn’t meet our needs- it doesn’t feed our hunger or quench our thirst. We remain spiritually unsatisfied, unfulfilled- hungry and thirsty for something only Christ can give us.

Today’s gospel is a reminder that the Word Became flesh, and that flesh was sacrificed to sustain us. To Jesus’ audience “body” would have meant the entire person, and “blood” the absolute essence of life. Jesus offers and indeed gave himself entirely.

Flesh and blood underline Jesus’ humanity, whilst echoing back to the mystical beginning of John’s gospel. Jesus, word made flesh, is the spirit of God’s Wisdom inviting us to “Come, eat of my bread and drink of the wine I have mixed. Lay aside immaturity, and live, and walk in the way of insight” reminding us that “those who seek the Lord lack nothing that is good”.

And yet if we take Jesus literally, trying to live solely by what God gives to us, we know it will fail because it’s not just about what God gives to us. It’s about us abiding in Christ and him abiding in us. It has to be reciprocal and mutual. This is no fad spiritual diet that will leave us craving for other things. If we fully enter into that mutual abiding- that communion- which we recognise and celebrate in the Eucharist, this continued repetition and reminder we experience feeds us, nourishes us – abides and grows within us, drawing us deeper into communion with God and also with each other.

We each have our personal, reciprocal relationship with God but we also have it with each other. Our faith is corporate. Jesus abides within and sustains us so we are able to carry out his will in the world as the body of Christ. To be our best means growing into the person God intends us to be.

Part of this includes engaging with the people and culture around us. My mission as a minister in the secular world means connecting with people who haven’t or wouldn’t step into a church. Knowing the latest fad diet or exercise regime is all part of this. Finding out what people thirst and hunger for- what sustains and nourishes them, what they connect with, and looking to see where God is in that, and where he can be for them.

Our meeting in communion here nourishes us to go out and take God with us, whoever we go, to whoever we meet. We have the experience of true food and true drink, and in the rich tradition of biblical hospitality it’s our job to go out and share it.

A feast of rich food

Today has been rather lovely. I attended the mid - week eucharist at my placement church, St Matthew's Stretford, this morning and followed that this afternoon by making lots of lovely preserves which I give as Christmas presents. There were more pressing matters- coursework and Sunday's sermon- but I just needed a day for me and for my annual ritual.
One of the readings we had this morning was from Isaiah chapter 25, part of which reads:
"...the Lord of hosts will make for all peoples a feast of rich food, a feast of well-aged wines, of rich food filled with marrow, of well-aged wines strained clear".
A reminder that God has wonderful things in store for us and wants us to live an abundant life.
The LLLA task for today was thinking back over the year and thanking God for our "best bits". The times I am most thankful for are invariably the shared family times- cuddles, a takeaway, a film- or wine and food shared with friends- cheese, wine and boardgames on my birthday or a summer meal in the garden. It's during these simple times, spent in the company of those I love, that I've felt happiest. I'm thankful for so many other things such as my learning experiences and meaningful connections within my work but home, family, friends and sharing good things, in its simplicity, fills me with joy.